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how to tell my friend about her brother?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
i am from kent orginally, when i was here i met my friend meg through our shared interest in horses, i cannot remember how old i was cause it was many years ago altho there is a almost 4 year age gap between us we have always got on well and she looked up to me for advice. she has a brother who is in the year above me who i also get on well with before i went to uni and when i was over her house we would often chat about everyday stuff bt often meg would get annoyed and complain to her mum who would tell my mum (they were also friends) and my mum would tell me to remember that meg is a younger than me and feels left out as i would often talk to her brother adam about uni and cars and stuff.

however in october i moved to nottingham uni, and he started his second year at Newport uni. i thought nothing of it when he started talking to me on facebook asking me about how uni was going, it was a completly natural thing to do i thought then he added me on msn as he said it was easier to talk on here, for weeks we talked everynite that i wasnt out and often we would stay up all nite chatting about almost everything u can think of and i started to notice how much i liked him and how much we had in common.

however we then exchanged fone numbers and for the last month we have been in contact by fone and text. it has been really nice and he said how much he likes me and asked if i wanted to start seeing him as a boyfriend (although due to work commitments atm i am not able to see him til xmas). he told me that he had never met a girl that he could talk so easily to and feel so close to even tho we are miles away whilst at uni, i agreed that we had this link like nothing id ever experienced before and he admitted to me that he had always had a crush on me bt was hard to get to know me with meg around.

so all is well and we are going to make this a little more official at xmas bt finaly here is my problem, how is best to tell meg? should i wait til the end of the xmas holidays to make sure that the relationship with adam is going well (which i am sure it will) or should i tell her straight away as soon as i get back frm uni that i am going to be seeing her brother?
my concern is that if i tell her later on that she will be annoyed that i didnt tell her at the beginning bt at least that way i will be sure that adam and me are right for eachother?

also how should i tell her, i dont really want to ask her if i can see her brother because its not up to her bt i dont want to upset her by just coming out with it?

(i know this is wrong of me to be thinking about a friends brother like this bt i dont want to miss out on the oppertunity with him)


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh God, what a shame no one has replied to you... I am in a similar situation!! What have you decided to do? My problem is that many people have been friends with my friend, to get to her brother, where in my case, I met him first (he asked me out on a date but i refused for my lack of money at the time) began working for them both, became friends with her, and continue to be friends with her, and her family...so there are many people to consider not just her, in doing the "right" thing....
    Good luck anyways!! xxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am generally of the opinion that since you're both adults you don't need anyones permission, go for it, tell your friend perhaps like you would tell her about anyone else. I don't think there's any reason to feel bad about it. The only reason I would put friends first is if they had a big crush on whoever it was (and I wasn't that into them) or there was serious history (and I wasn't that into them).

    But like you said, you get on with him well, can talk to him like noone you've met before and you both seem keen on each other - a great match! So don't let his sister hold you back, just tell her and hopefully all should be fine.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    love, and love connections arent the end of the world you should go for it with him and tell her but if she has serious objections i would let him go your both at uni anyway in different parts of the country im sure your freindship will outlast a long distance relationship with someone who's younger sister you really upset dont you? its not so much of how to tell her its more what she feels that matters.
    just my opinion lol gd luk n e way
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