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Stay for another year or go?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
My gf and I have been together for almost 2 years (In January). I must admit that most of it has been a struggle.
We were always arguing (she was really obsessive and possesive) and it created a lot of strain in my friendships because she was always phoning and arguing with me if I was with them and not with her.
Then that all changed about 10 months into the relationship. I had my reasons to think she was up to something and I peeked at her phone when she was int he shower. Turns out she had been txting 4 guys at the same time. She swears to this day that it only went as far as txting and not physical in any way.
The first guy was an ex who she was txting and he asked "When am I getting a proper kiss from u?" She went a night out and invited me too, but went without me and i found out it was because he was there and she wanted to spend the night out with him.
The second guy was a guy who she had cheated on her ex with (she txt him) "I really wanna be with u but I dunno if u feel the same?"
The third guy was txting her "I think u should come to mine, I want to make u scream" The guy from this thread Turns out she had met him on the train and never mentioned she has a bf (she claims she needed attention I wasn't giving her)
The fourth guy was organising a night out with her.
I ended up going over the edge and almost commiting suicide over it. Long story short I took her back and have never trusted her since. Since then I have found bebo messages from a few guys and she's always apologised and had an excuse. We both met a guy who was friends with her friend and she went out just the 3 of them a week later (she told me it was a college night out and I didnt go) and she took his number and was txting him.
On our first anniversary I woke up at 3am to find her on the phone in bed next to me with a guy talking dirty to her on the phone. Although I believe her that she didn't provoke it and he was just a guy from college who drunkenly decided to call her (it was new year)
We argued in our second year mosty because I was paranoid and dont trust her, and she was also just treating me like an idiot and expecting me to take her shit. I haven't seen anything like last year to make me think she's at it but I doubt everything now.
Ive been banned from her house by her dad because the other week I went out with my mate and she got jealous. I turned my phone off and she started crying and her dad saw her and thinks im a bastard - if only her parents knew what she got up to!
I don't feel like I can go on for another year with her. I just don't think all of the hassle is worth it. I love her but I can't live like this. I know it's my fault in part because she probably has changed and I won't giove her the chance because of my lack of trust...
We were always arguing (she was really obsessive and possesive) and it created a lot of strain in my friendships because she was always phoning and arguing with me if I was with them and not with her.
Then that all changed about 10 months into the relationship. I had my reasons to think she was up to something and I peeked at her phone when she was int he shower. Turns out she had been txting 4 guys at the same time. She swears to this day that it only went as far as txting and not physical in any way.
The first guy was an ex who she was txting and he asked "When am I getting a proper kiss from u?" She went a night out and invited me too, but went without me and i found out it was because he was there and she wanted to spend the night out with him.
The second guy was a guy who she had cheated on her ex with (she txt him) "I really wanna be with u but I dunno if u feel the same?"
The third guy was txting her "I think u should come to mine, I want to make u scream" The guy from this thread Turns out she had met him on the train and never mentioned she has a bf (she claims she needed attention I wasn't giving her)
The fourth guy was organising a night out with her.
I ended up going over the edge and almost commiting suicide over it. Long story short I took her back and have never trusted her since. Since then I have found bebo messages from a few guys and she's always apologised and had an excuse. We both met a guy who was friends with her friend and she went out just the 3 of them a week later (she told me it was a college night out and I didnt go) and she took his number and was txting him.
On our first anniversary I woke up at 3am to find her on the phone in bed next to me with a guy talking dirty to her on the phone. Although I believe her that she didn't provoke it and he was just a guy from college who drunkenly decided to call her (it was new year)
We argued in our second year mosty because I was paranoid and dont trust her, and she was also just treating me like an idiot and expecting me to take her shit. I haven't seen anything like last year to make me think she's at it but I doubt everything now.
Ive been banned from her house by her dad because the other week I went out with my mate and she got jealous. I turned my phone off and she started crying and her dad saw her and thinks im a bastard - if only her parents knew what she got up to!
I don't feel like I can go on for another year with her. I just don't think all of the hassle is worth it. I love her but I can't live like this. I know it's my fault in part because she probably has changed and I won't giove her the chance because of my lack of trust...
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Comments
I dont know about you but this isn't what I call a relationship. She clearly has no love, or respect for you, just plays around for attention and lies when she gets caught out
Does she do pot-noodle?
..eta,, i would get rid
:yes: Man up dude and bin her.
You dont sound a happy bunny at all and I doubt you will whilst you're in this situation.
:thumb:
yep, bin her. She treats you without respect and lies to you. You don't deserve this.
Besides, you clearly can't find it in yourself to trust her and the paranoi seems to be driving you bonkers.
Clearly neither of you are happy. I don't see how sticking around for another year is going to make things any better.
I also understand what you're saying about her doing what she wants and making excuses but she swore that it was all an attention thing and that she only did it for attention off the guys and nothing else happened.
I know that she loves me but I also know what she is an attention seeker and that she doesn't think about me until she's finished doing what she wants and then she apologises.
I know I sound as if I'm making excuses but I really can't work out what to do. I don't want to end it all and find out that I really do still love her and that things could still work out but on the other hand I can't go on like this if nothing is going to change.
I sorry guys, I'm just venting and writing things down to try and make it easier for myself.
one day i thought, fuck this! packed my things and went. it hurt because i had strong feelings for the guy but lets face it, he was just mugging me around, with his endless excuses and bull!
the first few days/weeks were a nightmare and i kept worrying id done the wrong thing, but now im over it i know it was the right thing to do, i deserved better and so do you! cut your losses and get out of there hun.
Hope it all works out for you.