some mate...

Former Member

rightio, here it is, i'm getting really pissed off with my best mate atm, just a few things bugging me about him

1st off, we went out the other night, i drank a ridculous amount, beer mixed with spirts, not happening again, i drank more than him and he usualy does and yet he;s going round people telling them that i'm a light wieght, this on its own doesn't bother me as i'm not huge on the drinking scene, yes i enjoy it but i don't really care to much, but its the fact that he knows i'm not

then last night he made 1 of me other mates really upset, he was saying that she went into the guys loos, when he knew she didn't, i even took him to one side said leave it its making her upset, i went to get a drink, when i came back she had run off crying because he'd been saying it again. he'd been drinking but he was sober enough to know that i'd told him to leave it and see it was upseting her

the last thing is that he tends to get way to drunk and me and the girl he made cry are usualy the soberest ones so we end up looking after him, we've told him to learn his limits but he doesn't, next time he does it i'm just gonna walk away from him because i'm sick and tired of looking after him when i've gone out to have a good time, don't get me wrong he's a great mate usually, its just as soon as he gets a hint of booze he becomes this completly diffrent person, its driving me up the wall... i just don't know what to do as i've tried talking to him on my own

**helen**

curly_boy wrote: »

the last thing is that he tends to get way to drunk and me and the girl he made cry are usualy the soberest ones so we end up looking after him, we've told him to learn his limits but he doesn't, next time he does it i'm just gonna walk away from him because i'm sick and tired of looking after him when i've gone out to have a good time, don't get me wrong he's a great mate usually, its just as soon as he gets a hint of booze he becomes this completly diffrent person, its driving me up the wall... i just don't know what to do as i've tried talking to him on my own

Hey curly_boy

Sounds like the other two issues are totally linked to ^

Such a hard one. As you've already spoken to him on your own, it might be a case that actions do speak louder than words. However, I'd never recommend leaving a friend by themselves if they're in a real state. Perhaps if other people are struggling with his behaviour, you could chat to them about it to see if there's a way that you could let him know you all care about his health and want to have a good time with him, but you don't want your evenings to be ruined? As harsh as it sounds, if he doesn't respond to further conversations then maybe arranging to go out without him is one way to show you're serious about how much it's affecting you guys.

Before it gets to this stage though, there are a few things that you could try as a group to improve your drinking sessions...

1. Avoid mixing - and encourage your mates to do the same
2. Avoid getting alcoholic drink with every round - get the odd glass of coke or water inbetween drinks. Perhaps encourage your particular mate to do this more than others!
3. Avoid things like rounds of shots that can send even the most sober person over the edge!

We had a question come into askTheSite about a similar situation that you might find helpful to read.

Hope this helps a little.

Former Member

thnx helen
its got me thinking, i'm gonna talk to some other people see how they feel

hopefully they'll feel the same way

Former Member

I used to be that guy (not proud of it and I am a girl) I stopped drinking heavily a few years ago because I realised how much pressure I was putting on my friends. I stopped because of an incident that really upset one of my friends (messed up his flat a bit, Im not abusive) and I lost him as a friend. I would never do ANYthing like that again because it was not worth it. I think your friend needs a shock to make him see what he is doing. THough I do agree, dont leave him in a state, stay around him to make sure hes not getting into a dangerous situation but dont nanny him. Let him make his own mistakes so that in the morning he can see what hes done and feel bad. What I mean is, hes being a prick, let him do it. Dont get invlolved. He will soon learn he is acting like a teenage girl and stop it hopefully.