It's finally over

Former Member

Well as some of you will know my boyfriend and I have been having problems for a while...and this weekend after they came up yet again, we finally decided to stop running away from them and call it a day I know we've made the right decision and that I'll be OK but it still hurts...especially as we live together so have to leave our lovely flat and have to get used to life without each other again on a different level (we've broken up in the past but this is different as we have a home in common and have bought stuff together etc). Guess I'm just looking for some sympathy and also if anyone's been through the "break up when you live together" thing I'd be grateful for any advice as I've never done it before and am feeling a bit overwhelmed at the thought of it all

Former Member

*hugs*

It sounds like you're leaving on good terms which will make it easier.

Hope you're ok xxx

**helen**

StupidGirl,
Massive hugs to you. I can say from experience it's one of the bravest things you'll ever do and 'overwhelming' is definitely a good word to use.

Allow yourself to feel hurt and sad, wallow in it for a few days, lean on friends, cry a lot. In other words...let it all out. Then (and you won't be ready for this yet) pick yourself up and start to think about what you really want and how you define yourself as an individual who has so much going for them.

What you have done is listen to yourself and act on it, it takes guts. The possible end result of this is choice, freedom and a more enjoyable future.

I also absolutely, thoroughly, wholeheartedly recommend you read Christine Webber's book - How to mend a broken heart.

Take good care of yourself - really, you have to be kind to yourself now more than ever.

Former Member

aw, i dont have much advice to offer but i sympathise completely, iv just broke up with my boyfriend of two years, a mutual decision but i just feel so sad even though i know its for the best.

seeing as helen recommended a book, iv been reading 'its called a breakup because its broken' which my mum got me and i know it sounds unbelievably cheesy but its not and it makes you really think about it all and it is helping me, a little x

Former Member

stupidgirl I admire you and your partner for having the maturity to brave the pain of a breakup when you both sense things to be over. Please read my 'what to do?' thread - I'm struggling just to keep going in my relationship and think that breaking up might be the right thing to do but I'm afraid/unsure. I hope you heal well

Former Member

Thank you all - I got a bit of a lump in my throat reading your replies (although it doesn't take much to set me off just at the minute!) I will definitely try and get hold of those books, but it's just comforting to know others have been through it/are going through it and come out the other side OK. Firey I feel exactly the same as you, just so sad it's finally ended although I do know it was the best decision for both of us.

Greendragon as this situation has only just happened to me I can't be much help, but one thing I do know is that you have to listen to your instincts eventually. I've been ignoring mine for ages and it's just made things drag on for longer than they needed to. I'm not saying in your case that breaking up is the answer - just that you need to be honest with yourself even though it can often be painful to do so. I'm glad you felt able to post here - I'm sure you will get plenty of help and good advice from the lovely people on these boards