Abusive relationship?

Former Member

Would a person shouting in your face, making you feel stupid, pushing you about, calling you names and treating you like rubbish be classed as an abusive relationship? Sorry if that sounds daft! I would just asumme that an abusive relationship is like violence etc..

Former Member

Smartie wrote: »

Would a person shouting in your face, making you feel stupid, pushing you about, calling you names and treating you like rubbish be classed as an abusive relationship? Sorry if that sounds daft! I would just asumme that an abusive relationship is like violence etc..

Most definitaly.

Former Member

Yes, definitely.

Relationships don't have to be violent to be abusive.

All domestic violence is abusive, not all abuse is violent.

Former Member

Without doubt.

I was in an abusive relationship for years, and the worst thing about it was the psychological abuse, the ways he belittled me and undermined my confidence and made me feel worthless and so dependent on him.

The cuts and bruises healed much more quickly than the mental wounds did.

Former Member

I'd say it's abusive too.

Former Member

I agree.

Former Member

definately abusive.

Former Member

Can i just chime in and say some guy's have serious difficulty expressing themselves and don't mean to come over like that but can't help it..

I've never pushed anyone or hit anyone etc but i've been known to loose my temper and shout a lot..

Former Member

Yes most definetly. An abusive relationship is not just about violence; abuse can also be mental. Both physical and mental abuse are unacceptable. Just because violent behaviour is more tangible does not mean that it is worse than mental abuse; they can both be just as destructive.

I would advise anyone to get out of an abusive relationship as soon as they possibly can and to seek help immediately.

Former Member

Mr CW wrote: »

Can i just chime in and say some guy's have serious difficulty expressing themselves and don't mean to come over like that but can't help it..

I've never pushed anyone or hit anyone etc but i've been known to loose my temper and shout a lot..

Just because they can't help it... does not mean it's correct behaviour.

Former Member

Nothing I can add to that, everyone else has already said it all for me.

Indrid Cold

Mr CW wrote: »

Can i just chime in and say some guy's have serious difficulty expressing themselves and don't mean to come over like that but can't help it..

I've never pushed anyone or hit anyone etc but i've been known to loose my temper and shout a lot..

Also, there's a big difference between losing your temper and shouting (which I wouldn't think is "abusive") and calling the other names or putting them down (which is).

Former Member

skakitty wrote: »

Just because they can't help it... does not mean it's correct behaviour.

And your saying you practice perfect behaviour all the time? 24/7?..

I'm just pointing out from my own experience that sometimes the guy may not be at fault.. i know i've said some horrid things in the past to people after i've been wound up enough or if i've been backed into a corner.

I'm not saying that's the case with the OP and this thread.. just in general.

It's unfair that someone who may make a mistake once would get branded as an abusive partner.

Former Member

I dont think the OP is talking about a one time occurence losing your temper and saying something you regret, more like a partner who gets angry often and does everything to belittle their partner using words or violence, usually to make themselves feel better and have the control

Former Member

Maybe my old age and ex g/f always pointing the finger at me has just got me a tad defensive. lol.

Former Member

Yeh Sorry Mr CW!, i was referring to psychological abuse that the OP was talking about, and how that is not right... not just shouting/losing your temper. I think psychological abuse is the worst, as sometimes it is so subtle it eats away at your sense of self without you realising/ knowing how to stop it.

Former Member

Abuse has no place in love.An abusive relationship means more than being hit by the person who claims to love or care about you. Abuse can be emotional, psychological, financial,Some abused people feel they cannot leave their relationships because they are economically dependent on them.

Former Member

Definately abusive .. and it won't change. Get out quick!

Former Member

skakitty wrote: »

Yeh Sorry Mr CW!, i was referring to psychological abuse that the OP was talking about, and how that is not right... not just shouting/losing your temper. I think psychological abuse is the worst, as sometimes it is so subtle it eats away at your sense of self without you realising/ knowing how to stop it.

What's abusive is you adding me to facebook and then not talking to me anymore.

Former Member

To the OP: You might find it useful to go to the Women's Aid website at www.womensaid.org.uk and have a look at the information there. There is also a page on the website to make sure you know how to clear your tracks on the computer, if you think your partner might see it in the History and get angry.

Otherwise if you're more comfortable talking to someone, you can call the Womens Aid National Helpline on 0808 2000 247. You can talk completely anonymously if you want to, and the women who answer the phones have a good understanding of abusive relationships. They won't pressure you to do anything you're not happy with, but they can give you a friendly ear and some information to think about.

Best of luck.