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just one of those days...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
Have you ever had one of those days when you feel like utter crap! Today seemed to be mine!

I really really wanted to SH. Like badly wanted to! And i didn't which is good. But i feel like my coping stratagies on not doing it are starting to lose thier effect, and i'm struggling to well...cope! i suppose.

It's been like 7/8 months since i last sh-ed and i knew that eventually i would find it harder, but God i didn't think it would be this hard. I've had a lot of crap recently and it feels like i'm going to go back to square one. And i i do, i don't think i'll be able to come back from it again...

Anyone felt like this? or got any amazingly helpful coping techniques that aren't the usual ones? or infact! anyone just wanna hear me rant more?...could do with one. :(

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm hearing you rant!!! rant more!!

    erm.... chocolate? distraction is always a good one, and a hot bubble bath, a good book/tv and chocolate is a great distraction.

    If none of those work, just come and rant more!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey, its what the sites here for, just rant, i found that it always helped to get it off my chest, i still SHed but not as much as i used to when i didn't write it down, it doesn't have to be on here just on a bit of paper
    hope u feel better :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know for me... the more i think about doing it, the more i want to do it, and it gets really bad when i'm stressed and anxious. - is there a friend you can call up and be like 'i need to vent'? cuz that might take some of the anxiety away.
    My experiences with SH are, that i do use it as an expression of anger- i don't know if you relate to this? like stress and anger that you can't really show.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks guys, i tried watching waking the dead to take my mind off it...lots of blood. bad times.

    But i still haven't done it.

    Yes! anger and stress! god i hate them sometimes! I don't even know whats happening. I had one of those days the other day were you cry at anything.

    School is kinda crap. theres loads of family stuff going on and i'm starting to feel like crap again. But i thought i could tell when this stuff is about it happen but it's hit so sudden!
    I have friends i could talk to but i feel like i'm letting them down if i tell them, because they know i'm doing well (or was) and my guidance teacher at school is really good but at the same time i feel like i have nothing to talk to him about, or anyone in that matter.

    It's like i have loads of feelings and things i want to get out, but i don't know how to. It hurts...it actually hurts and i don't know what to do.
    I feel like i deserve to sh, i deserve that pain and to feel even crapper after it. :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    OK listen to me, you have basically described the last 3 years of my life!
    It can get WAY too much sometimes, but I swear to God there's not much you can do about it. You have no idea how much I can relate to what you have just said. But unlike you, I never had friends to talk about it with.
    Think about them when you feel really low and think about how they make you feel. I mean I know my friends never knew about what I did, but even the thought of their weird antics made things a little easier.
    But honestly Emma, I'm not sure if I should say this or not, but there's people closer to home who are having the same problems as you, but are just too afraid to talk about it. I'm probably going to get killed now but I think it shouldn't be too bad. I hope not anyway lol
    I know it may feel like it, but you are NOT alone!
    Just be strong. I know it's easier said than done but you have to try.
    My coping methods really sucked, and I hear somebody elses does too (here I go again with my big gob) so maybe a talk is the best thing for it.
    I'm sorry I'm not much help, I'm bad in situations like this :(
    x Andy
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know, I probably sound really pathetic, I mean I feel it. I've been through far worse than this but I feel like I'm lying to myself and everyone by saying I'm fine. I'm a failure.
    It's like I'm just slowly moving with this fake mask of happiness covering how I really feel. I don't feel anything.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You are NOT a failure!!
    I have felt it, and I know other people have too. I honestly mean it when I say you're not alone. It's a difficult thing to deal with because I never put up too much of a mask when I was down, but I know some people - one in particular- who had a mask on almost everyday.
    I'm not actually too sure what to say.
    But anyway, like I said, you are NOT a failure. Don't ever believe that you are Emma. It's a lie.
    Chin up hun.
    x Andy
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: your friends, i think you really have to think- if they were having a crap day and feeling like SH and were depressed, would you rather they talked to you and you could try and talk to them/help hem out, or would you want then to pretend everything was 'fine' and not tell you what was going on?

    I know that if i thought my friend was upset, i'd do pretty much anything to see her smile again!

    It helps to put yourself in other people's shoes when you are feeling 'selfish' (i totally understand about the 'faliure' thing, i do feel like other people can just cope, by themselves, and i can't..... but then who's to know who's wearing the mask...??)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey
    Sorry to hear you've been having a bad day - we definitely all get them, but it's hard when it brings on urges to self-harm.

    Just wanted to let you know that we have some useful articles - if you haven't seen them already they might provide some good tips for you:

    Coping tips and distractions

    Dealing with urges

    And don't forget that just coming on here and letting off steam is a great distraction technique, so you are managing the urges well!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks guys.

    It's been a werid week tbh. Theres been about as much up's as down's but i *think* i'm coping better. I've had a week of headspace and have kept away from the interwebz and stuff so i can at least catch up on homework!

    I haven't sh-ed yet... but i am still finding it hard not too.
    umm...yea just a lil update. seen as i logged in and forgot i was trying to stay away from the internet...but all my homework is done :D.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ive had a depressing few weeks too, not sure why :/
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :/

    i think its the weather...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Congrats on the homework bit naun :) yeh.... i think september seems to be a stressful time for loads of people, schools/uni's starting, peoples workloads getting bigger (as a result of people coming back from hols etc) argggg!

    Ohh well.. Christmas soon :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    christmas in 86 (?) days lol but paramore in 72 :D :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Christmas soon..me and my roomate turned on all our fairy light and started playing Christmas songs yesterday :)
    Coping strategy..go running. Even if you're really unfit, just run until it hurts, and then keep running. It genuinly does make you feel better, and even if it doesn't, it's something to do and another period of time you can't hurt yourself in. But you DoN't deserve to feel crapper.
    Hope that helps??
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yea running helps, thanks.

    i think i just need to get used to the fact that its not going to be as straight forward at times. :|
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah exactly.
    Hope things get better for you! If you've noticed... myself and another individual you seem to know have not been on here lately. Roughly the same time you've not been here. :chin: lol
    But about the whole S-H thing. I know this isn't my place to say but you are seriously not alone in this. It's a lot closer to home than you realise. Although I think this certain someone I'm talking about may find it a little hard to discuss. Just letting you know that there is support outside of this place. Your experiences are shared by many others.
    x Andy
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Andy Pandy wrote: »
    If you've noticed... myself and another individual you seem to know have not been on here lately. Roughly the same time you've not been here. :chin: lol
    x Andy

    dunno aint been on, am i just that cool :p

    yeah i know i'm not the only one but it doesn't make it easier. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dunno aint been on, am i just that cool :p

    yeah i know i'm not the only one but it doesn't make it easier. :)

    Yeah of course it's not easy. And don't worry it's a hard thing to talk about and it's a hard thing to get over so it is completely okay to struggle.
    x Andy
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    as stupid as it sounds, when i was depressed and generally losing it i found watching stand ups and comedy in general on the internet immensely theraputic.
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