Always feeling guilty

BillieTheBot

Hi People.

As the title says, I have a kind of guilt problem. I've had it for ages and am really getting sick of it.

A couple of examples would be a couple days ago when I was walking to the underground station, I passed a few charity volunteers and one was trying to stop me. I just kept on walking and saying "Im sorry". I still feel bad.

Another example would be if someone asks to borrow something and I say no, I end up feeling guilty and wind up caving in.

Im not sure what to do to get rid it. (Not sure if this is asking for advice or a rant.)

Thanks to anyone who reads and sorry if its in the wrong place.

Former Member

Johnnyboy - V2.0 wrote: »

Hi People.

As the title says, I have a kind of guilt problem. I've had it for ages and am really getting sick of it.

A couple of examples would be a couple days ago when I was walking to the underground station, I passed a few charity volunteers and one was trying to stop me. I just kept on walking and saying "Im sorry". I still feel bad.

Another example would be if someone asks to borrow something and I say no, I end up feeling guilty and wind up caving in.

Im not sure what to do to get rid it. (Not sure if this is asking for advice or a rant.)


Thanks to anyone who reads and sorry if its in the wrong place.

Hey don't worry about it mate. You're just being a nice guy.
But I can see how it would be a hard thing to have to deal with. It's not a nice thing to have, guilt.
There's not much you can say to something like that. Sorry dude, you're just going to have to live with it.
x Andy

Former Member

Try living in a big city where you see charity workers/beggars numerous times a day and see about a million different tactics of getting you to part with your money. When you're not used to it there are feelings of guilt but after a while you become a bit immune to it and eventually dont care in the slightest

Former Member

I have this problem also, i tend to 'blame myself' or feel guilty for the smallest things, but i am trying hard to change this. What i try to do is think of the bigger picture, like for the charity workers.. 1) they don't take it as a personal insult, it is their job to collect money 2) if you can afford it- support a charity that is really close to your heart every month, and then, you feel like you are helping a cause that matters to you, and also you can 'erase' that guilt about not giving to the street collectors. 3) set aside a jar of coppers/small change- when you go past a collection tin, add that money, and remember to tell yourself 'ok, so i've helped *insert charity* today... i've done my part'

On general guilt- I try to say to myself 'would anyone else feel guilt over this? and 'what is this guilt achieving? and 'is there anything positive i can do so next time i won't feel guilty' because, a lot of times, it is a wasted emotion. I try and think 'I am justified feeling guilty if it's something I have done on purpose to feel guilty about' but the next thing i would try and think is 'what can i do to put it right'

ok, sorry for the essay! let me know if any of that makes sense!

Former Member

Thank you for all your replies.

That post was quite helpful Skakitty.

I guess I feel bad because I always put myself in the shoes of the other person and how they'd feel being ignored, turned down or whatever. What bothers me though is that I hold on to the guilt for ages

Former Member

I think the thing you have to keep thinking is -- they wouldn't be thinking 'omg... he ignored me..how rude' ... if they did, they would be in the wrong job! Unless you are blatantly rude to them, they won't even remember you ignoring them by the end of the day.

I do exactly the same as you, put myself in other people's shoes all the time, but you have to learn to walk in your own sometimes.

Former Member

Doesn't reading about what politicians do put your own actions into perspective? You might not have given money to charity today, but I'm pretty sure you didn't steal money to pay for a new house or make poor people pay higher taxes either.