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Think I'm going mental.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Honestly I don't know what to do. I think I'm going mad. My mum found out on Friday that I've had sex, and is SO angry with me. Social services are coming round tomorrow (1st of September) because I had to go to hospital, due to self harm. In hospital they found out about me having sex.... But anyway- I'm sure I should be upset or angry or something? But I don't feel anything. I'm just sort of... emotionless.

I feel like a freak! Why aren't I upset? I should be, I'm either being put in care or going to boarding school.... I SHOULD BE CRYING.

AARRRGGG I just feel weird.

Crying-angel x
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    TBH i'd say you were in shock just now. It's a lot to take in.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    TBH i'd say you were in shock just now. It's a lot to take in.

    :yes:

    I'm having a really tough time at home as well and I have become 'emotionless' even though I know I should be doing more than I am. Infact I've been bursting out into fits of laughter even though I'm really worried about a horrible situation which I don't find remotely funny :yeees:

    You're not a freak, it probably hasn't sunk in yet and I'm sure when it does you will make up for it! I hope things work out :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    why do you think you're going to be put in care or boarding school? does your mum know about the sexual abuse, thats not your fault hun.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My mum told me if the social don't put me in care then I'm going to boarding school next September.
    C-A x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How do you feel about boarding school? Like taking everything else out of the equation. Would you be ok with going?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My mum told me if the social don't put me in care then I'm going to boarding school next September.
    C-A x

    yes but why would you be put in care? surely your mum will fight to stop that? i find your posts well confusing honey. x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Your mums making a big deal about the sex tbh. If you used protection it's fine imo.

    She's 12. Having sex at that age is not 'fine', protected or otherwise, and I'm not surprised her mum is going a bit spare!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think it's normal not to feel anything, agree that it's a type of shock probably setting in, you're very young to be dealing with this on your own.

    I really do think that with your self-harm and the sexual side it's good that social services are involved as it will hopefully get you the help and support you need.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The social are coming in like 20 minutes... will let you know how I get on :-(
    C-A xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    good luck :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    g_angel wrote: »
    She's 12. Having sex at that age is not 'fine', protected or otherwise, and I'm not surprised her mum is going a bit spare!

    :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i hope you are ok. remember social services are there to do what is best for you. x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    OMG it was awful. I just feel depressed now, it was better when I didn't really care! *sighs* I just want to be a normal 12 year old. Normal kids don't have unprotected sex at 11 do they? I do just want to be playing football or something, I should be, shouldn't I? Not having social services round because I self harm and have been made to have sex. :-(
    C-A x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    OMG it was awful. I just feel depressed now, it was better when I didn't really care! *sighs* I just want to be a normal 12 year old. Normal kids don't have unprotected sex at 11 do they? I do just want to be playing football or something, I should be, shouldn't I? Not having social services round because I self harm and have been made to have sex. :-(
    C-A x

    Did you TELL them you've been made to have sex?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yea... it sort of slipped out... she was very concerned. I instantly regretted saying it! I was like "oh, oh it's nothing."
    C-A x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's good that you told them. Are they going to do a follow up type thing?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yea they are doing a type up. My dads coming down tomora *yay* so I have something to look forward to now :-)
    C-A x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It slipped out because i'd imagine deep down you do want somebody to talk to about it and to lean on and have support from. It's a hard issue to deal with for anyone but especially at 12, you're meant to have a support system there for you to help deal with the nasties in the world. Did they suggest any counselling?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Firstly, if you've been made to have sex then that's rape. Does your mum know the circumstances under which you had sex? If not, then I think you should seriously consider discussing it with her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've told my mum... she just shouted and said I was a slut. Sooo doesn't make much difference. I really don't like the word rape, I don't like to think that happened to me
    I guess I do want help.... but then again, I just think other people out there need it more.
    C-A x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've told my mum... she just shouted and said I was a slut. Sooo doesn't make much difference. I really don't like the word rape, I don't like to think that happened to me
    I guess I do want help.... but then again, I just think other people out there need it more.
    C-A x

    Rape is rape, regardless of what you want to THINK[/b[ of what happened to you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ... Yea it's just not a nice thought.

    I need help don't I. I really do.

    C-A x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks :-) At boarding school do you get a mobile and stuff?
    C-A x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yep..you're allowed your mobile, and laptop if you have one, or you can use the IT classroom for facebook and stuff as well as homework. I've friends at other boarding schools and they say the same. So I think boarding school should be the least of your worries, just concentrate on sorting stuff out yeah? :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rape is a crime. It affects people's lives, how we grow up and makes us have to contend with feelings we didn't ask for. You need to sit down and talk to someone about what happened, how you feel and how to start solving the problem and stopping it from ruining your life the older you get. Problems can only be buried for so long before they rear their ugly head so it's better to try and solve them now rather than to leave it no matter how painful they are :( For whatever reason your mother is not providing the support she should do which means you must turn to other people to help you i.e. doctor, counsellor, social services. Whichever one you feel more comfortable telling.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    maybe your mum shouted and said those things because she feels guilty for not able to protect you and feels responsible for not noticing the self harm before it got so bad that social services was invloved. no way am i saying that if that is wat she is feeling that it is ok to say those things.

    but it is hard for her too to accept that she wasnt able to protect you from harm. She will feel partly to blame.

    I hope you manage to get stuff sorted x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I sort of agree with magicalfairy.

    When my mum found out I was harming, she hated me. Or, I thought she hated me. What she was actually thinking was probably more along the lines of that she had failed me as a mother, especially since my elder sister was also a harmer in her teens (and also especially after a stupid doctor told her she was a bad parent).

    Give her a few weeks to calm down, then try and talk to her openly and honestly about what happened. I know it will be hard but she will appreciate your honesty.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Crying-Angel,

    Sound's like you have a lot to deal with at the moment. You've been given some great words of advice and wisdom on your thread. We just wondered how things were for you now?

    Take care and keep posting :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What happened with this?
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