Soul mates?

Former Member

Just wanted to see if anyone believes in the term 'soul mates' really.
Do you think there's someone out there that you're meant to be with that you're destined for?
Or do you think it's luck of the draw, right place right time sort of thing?
Or something inbetween prehaps?

I'd love to believe that there is someone 'right' for me out there but I just don't. I've stopped believing in romance, I've even sometimes questioned love, but maybe I'm just getting bitter from being alone for so long.

I just can't work out if I'm alone because I'm not ready to meet someone or if I met that someone it would make me ready to be with someone. If that makes sense.

:yeees:

Former Member

I think it's easy to look back at the random places you met your partner and think it was fate.

I don't really believe in "one true love", I think things are more complicated than that, but I don't think you can settle down and be happy with just anyone. My wife and I are really well suited to each other, all the usual soppy stuff, but we probably wouldn't have been if we'd met 2-3 years earlier.

I think there's someone for everyone though. Some of my friends and family are really quite eccentric and they have long term partners and are very much in love.

You have to be ready to meet the person and let them into your life. Often that means that you'll get together when you're relaxed and happy with who you are, or you'll get together when it's really bloody inconvenient.

Former Member

many are worse and others are better destined to be something like a soulmate, but I don't think there is a specific "one" by definition.
There might even be people who are so soul matey with you right from the start and you can't really believe it and turn out to be asses later.

Indrid Cold

I'm afraid I think it's like searching for the tallest mountain on a planet that has millions, and you can only measure the height of one by getting close.
Of course, it's good to say at some point "This mountain is tall enough; I'll make my home here."

Former Member

I was thinking on this the other day. I've been on my own so long now that I feel so relaxed about it part of me wonders how i could ever slot anyone into my life without disrupting it. Which then in turn leads me to think well they'd have to be bloody special for that to happen. Which then in turns has me pondering the fact that i hardly meet anyone anymore that i have a chemistry with. But then at the end of the pondering i realise that just like life it'll either happen or it won't. I don't get worried about it, it doesn't worry me if i end up without anyone else by my side.
But then i'm a bit odd (according to friends). I don't date much, don't see the point unless i have that sudden chemistry. It never develops later on, always instant. Guess we're all different. Spent a long time as a youngster dating the wrong people, friends, people not suited etc. that nowadays i only date if i think it feels "right". Get so many people saying "god it's only a drink why don't you go out with him for one night". But then they get confused when i say i know he's not right for me.
So maybe the logic in this does relate to the fact deep down i hope to be proved wrong about soulmates but the realist in me says probably not, just enjoy your life :yes:

Sorry probably makes no sense, i find it hard to describe my strange attitude to relationships and love.

Former Member

Soulmates do exist, though they are few and far between. Just take care of the people you like... one day you'll find someone on your wavelength, I'm sure.

You're funny, witty, sensitive and gorgeous. You'll have no problems. :thumb:

Former Member

Im confused about the whole soul mate thing..

When ive been in relationships in the past everyone goes great there is that little moment where you think to yourself "This person could be my soulmate"
..then it all goes horribly wrong..

so i do and dont believe in it. bah.

Former Member

I think the fact that two people can meet in circumstances in which if any one detail had been even slightly altered, they would never have found each other, and then fall in love, is beautiful enough, without having to throw concepts like "soulmate" and "fate/destiny" into the equation to attempt to make it more meaningful.

If there is only *one* person out there that you're entirely compatable with then we have no hope, since what are the chances of meeting that one person out of 6billion, and what happens if something were to happen to them, or circumstances keep you apart - does that mean you'll never be happy with another partner again? Of course not.

There are people that are right for you at particular times of your life (as Kermit says), and some people that you have a better chance of making it work with than others. The amount of times I've heard the term banded around in relationships that have pretty quickly come to an end is ridiculous, so unless you believe everyone you love and are happy with is your "soulmate" until it all comes to an end, the whole idea seems a bit silly to me.

Former Member

I don't really believe in soul mates as such. I just think on a practical level, how many people are there in the world? If we only had one destined 'soul mate', then no one would find their soul mate because they're probably living in a Brazillian slum.
I do however believe in love, and I believe there are many people that we will meet in our lives that could become what is percieved as a 'soul mate'. It just depends on circumstances... Are you both in the right stage of your lives? Do you both understand and are you both ready to accept eachother in this way? Do you even get close enough to see that you could have a future together?

I like Indrid's post.

Former Member

i believe in true love

Former Member

Tr4shed wrote: »

The only reason i believe it, because if so much crap has happened and weve not split up, has gotta mean something!

Nah man....that could mean one of two things. Either that you both love eachother and are very determined to make it work or that you're both scared of being single.
No such thing as 'one, destined soul mate' IMO.

Former Member

Indrid Cold wrote: »

I'm afraid I think it's like searching for the tallest mountain on a planet that has millions, and you can only measure the height of one by getting close.
Of course, it's good to say at some point "This mountain is tall enough; I'll make my home here."

i really like this post

Former Member

I believe in soulmates. Absolutely. I don't necessarily believe they come in single pairs, though. And I don't believe that soulmates necessarily have a romantic connection.
Your soulmate might be your husband, or your girlfriend, but they could equally be your best friend, or your sister, or your child. I believe that some people just match, so perfectly that it couldn't possibly be an accident (although, of course, it is). Soulmates can't be made, and they can't be forced. They just are.

Soulmates are not about time or place. They're about people. About connections. Not being two halves of a whole, but being two of the same. And that same being a good thing and not bad.

Former Member

Olive wrote: »

I believe in soulmates. Absolutely. I don't necessarily believe they come in single pairs, though. And I don't believe that soulmates necessarily have a romantic connection.
Your soulmate might be your husband, or your girlfriend, but they could equally be your best friend, or your sister, or your child. I believe that some people just match, so perfectly that it couldn't possibly be an accident (although, of course, it is). Soulmates can't be made, and they can't be forced. They just are.

Soulmates are not about time or place. They're about people. About connections. Not being two halves of a whole, but being two of the same. And that same being a good thing and not bad.

Olive, that's beautiful.

And I wholeheartedly agree. I have had one or two soul mates in my life, exactly like you describe. And I hope I may have a couple more in the future, so I do believe in them, although I think there isn't just one for each of us. I don't believe in "The One", and I don't believe it's fate or destiny that sends them our way.

But I believe in being able to find someone who matches you so completely and whose company you feel so at ease and at peace in, that it's almost like finding the other half of yourself. It's a rare thing, which is what makes it so valuable.

Former Member

I do see a problem with all this romantic, soul mate stuff. I think lots of people expect their relationships to be so perfect....to just match and flow together...
That aint reality, and we all know it. People argue, long term relationships aren't always glamourous and we always have different opinions and tastes to our partners, which will sometimes cause problems. That's just how it is, and people are expect their relationships to be too perfect will find themselves alone and unhappy.
All these issues don't mean you can't love eachother unconditionally though. You can still make a relationship work and be happy.

Former Member

Kermit wrote: »

My wife and I are really well suited to each other, all the usual soppy stuff, but we probably wouldn't have been if we'd met 2-3 years earlier.

Same. I think my boyfriend would have found the younger me very boring. I sometimes think, wouldn't it have been cool if we'd met earlier in the university year and had more time together then, but who knows if it would have worked at a different point in time - he could have been seeing someone else, fancying someone else, maybe it wouldn't have ever begun if we didn't get randomly trashed together. I still wonder if that first time we met was more about being drunk and horny at the same time than him noticing me from the word go. Maybe it wouldn't have worked if we'd met one another sober.

8 years on and I can't imagine being with anybody else, but I equally know that if we ever did split up, we would both find other people we click with.

Former Member

Olive wrote: »

I believe in soulmates. Absolutely. I don't necessarily believe they come in single pairs, though. And I don't believe that soulmates necessarily have a romantic connection.
Your soulmate might be your husband, or your girlfriend, but they could equally be your best friend, or your sister, or your child. I believe that some people just match, so perfectly that it couldn't possibly be an accident (although, of course, it is). Soulmates can't be made, and they can't be forced. They just are.

Soulmates are not about time or place. They're about people. About connections. Not being two halves of a whole, but being two of the same. And that same being a good thing and not bad.

Thats beautiful. Its wonderfully writen, i could have easily have thought that was out of a epic romance novel or something. And i couldnt agree more.

Former Member

Olive wrote: »

I believe in soulmates. Absolutely. I don't necessarily believe they come in single pairs, though. And I don't believe that soulmates necessarily have a romantic connection.
Your soulmate might be your husband, or your girlfriend, but they could equally be your best friend, or your sister, or your child. I believe that some people just match, so perfectly that it couldn't possibly be an accident (although, of course, it is). Soulmates can't be made, and they can't be forced. They just are.

Soulmates are not about time or place. They're about people. About connections. Not being two halves of a whole, but being two of the same. And that same being a good thing and not bad.

Well said that lady. I would actually call my best friend my soulmate over Rich, but that's not to say I don't love Rich. It's just a different connection.

Former Member

Lu_C wrote: »

Just wanted to see if anyone believes in the term 'soul mates' really.
Do you think there's someone out there that you're meant to be with that you're destined for?
Or do you think it's luck of the draw, right place right time sort of thing?
Or something inbetween prehaps?

I'd love to believe that there is someone 'right' for me out there but I just don't. I've stopped believing in romance, I've even sometimes questioned love, but maybe I'm just getting bitter from being alone for so long.

I just can't work out if I'm alone because I'm not ready to meet someone or if I met that someone it would make me ready to be with someone. If that makes sense.

:yeees:

I know this is an old thread but I'd love to know if you ever met that soul mate or not :-)

Former Member

DG wrote: »

I know this is an old thread but I'd love to know if you ever met that soul mate or not :-)

Haven't seen Lu_C in ages. But then I'd have said the same if someone brought up one of your old threads

**helen**

Hello stranger :wave:

Funnily enough, Soul Mates has been quite the topic on TS recently as our journo Holly has published a novel of the same name.

We did a live chat recently about the topic that you should check out...
http://www.thesite.org/community/thesocial/chat/chatarchive/soulmates

Do you believe in soul mates?

Former Member

I knew a haddock that had a sole mate

Former Member

RubberSkin wrote: »

I knew a haddock that had a sole mate

Get out :P

Former Member

Ba Doom Kish

I'll get me coat