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What do you think of your dad?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
well Fathers Day gone. I visited my dad, made him a meal and chatted for a while. I dont quite know why but I feel that the older I get the greater the distance between me and my dad. I still love him and in fact we dont have so much arguments as before. But our minds are just so different that there are hardly any common grounds :eek: I dont argee with lots of things he said, but just to respect him I kept silence.

I remember when I was a child I used to think my dad is someone who knows everything. Now there are many things I know more than he does. There is not much conversation between us, even I tried hard to have some. What about everyone's relations with their dads?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I had a difficult relationship with my dad. We disagreed on a lot of things, but it was great when he was in a good mood. I walked by all the Fathers Day cards and thought "Oh yeah! I should get one." And then I remembered that I couldn't. I would have visited his grave, but it's halfway across the world. I think perhaps I should have bought a card anyways.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well,I'm only 17 but me and my dad get on ok most of the time but because we are so alike we clash a lot. My mum is always saying "you 2 are too alike". He nags me about clearing up and stuff but he is helping me through a very tough time I'm having at the moment. He also makes me coffee (which I love) all the time! He is a great dad and I don't know what I would do if I didn't have my mum and dad there. Not many people can say that, can they? :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not that close to my Dad really. I'm glad he is around & everything but we tend to keep out of each others way most of the time. He has very high expectations of me & if I don't meet them...well lets just say he gets very annoyed with me. I bought him a card & a pressie for Father's Day but I didn't spend any time with him as I was at work during the day then I went to my bf's in the evening. He didn't seem to mind though.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not that close to my Dad either, but we are quite similar in may ways...we just don't have much to talk about :confused: Wouldn't change him for the world though :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm 17 yet there is quite a distance between me and my dad. He's damn scary! I look at him as the beer drinking, telly watching, car obsessed crazy dude who stays in my house when he is in the country.

    Father's Day I usually forget when that is and so does he, and original presents are so difficult to find for my dad cuz he has no real hobbies or interests apart from cars... using his crossbow, cleaning his car, going to the Grand Prix, looking at cars he can't afford.... drinking beer...
    So i buy him a beer mug and some Hoegaarden/Stella Artois, and he is a happy happy man, strangely enough.

    I don't talk to him about anything really, apart from when i need money or a lift somewhere (which is a damn lot). But I ain't complaining... :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As Jellygirl, me and my dad are very alike in personality traits. Means that when we clash, it's HARD. We are both very stubborn, and when we disagree I will stand on my part and he on his. Won't give in, and only time lets it fade. There's a lot of action at my place, I would say...

    It's hard telling about our bonds. Sometimes I feel as if we are tight, other times as we are two worlds apart (then again everyone is a world apart from him, he has his weirdnesses)...

    As a dad, I don't know where to put him. I can't complain about anything in the sense that he does take care of me in every possible way. School, moneywise and just knowing that I havce someone to fall back on. But then again he isn't that active in what is going on...

    ARGH! Can't really explain!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Me and my dad dont really have that much in common I dont think. Sure we like some of the same things, like football (even though he's a Rangers fan, hehe ), and stuff, but I find it soo hard to strike up a conversation with him sometimes. Half the time he buggers off upstairs to do paperwork or whatver, and the rest of the time I dont seem to exist.

    But I love him, he's my dad, and I've always looked up to him in a way, he's acheived a lot in his life, and I'd like to say that about myself when I'm his age.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    errrrrr i dont really get along that well with my dad since he had an affair with a dutch air hostess and ran up a £4000 credit card bill, then became unemployed so my mum had to pay it...... and have to listen to my mum cry down the phone to me while im in the middle of my finals.....

    so its fair to say we dont really have a healthy relationship!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't know my Dad very well, he has always worked a lot and often abroad when I was growing up, then I left home at 17 when he was living in Belgium. He is quite quiet and keeps to himself, I never have much to say to him which is sad. When he phones me there are often silences, and we just talk about random stuff like my uni stuff and work rather than important stuff.

    People who are close to their parents are very lucky.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I guess I love my Dad, He can be such a moody C*nt and he cheated on my Mum, but that all seem to be in the past.I sometime talk to him about stuff and we can have a laugh

    I can't say I have a strong relationship with my Mum or Dad, I love them both and all, but I don't like getting to close to them. It may change as I grow older and have kids and what not.:p :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    "My Daddy"

    *hugs to Scarlett*

    It's only when I talk to other people that I realise how lucky I am to have my family. Yes, they drive me totaly nuts, but all four of us are really close.

    I'll be daddy's princess till the day I die, I know, dad's always been my sister & I's hero, but I've enjoyed getting to know my dad more as a person as I've got older. It does mean accepting that he has faults and isn't perfect, but I know I could always come to him if I had a problem and I enjoy his company. My first ever period arrived the one time my mum was away for the weekend, but I was able to tell dad that morning what had happened (and laugh at him panicing as he rumaged through mum's supply of sanitary towels, lol). I think he was dead chuffed I could come to him about even something like that, but I know my dad will alwasy be there.

    He was a prison officer for nearly 30 years, working mostly on the sex-offenders wing for the last part of his career. Talk about spending every single day with scum. He got awarded the top medal in his profession and I am so proud of him. He worked the shittiest job, and drove an hour there and back everyday in nightmare shift patterns, just so we could have everything we wanted and go to uni. When I graduated I thought he was going to explode with pride :rolleyes: But I really admire him for the way he handled all the stress and pressure without every taking it out on us, and every day off was spent taking the family on some outing or other.

    We disagree on lots of things, and we have gone through our bad patches. He's a tad over-protective, but he tries really hard not to be. And if any bastard annoys me, he can snap their neck like a twig :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm very similar to my dad in a lot of ways and we used to be really close, but after i found out he cheated on my mum we generally tend to stay out of each others way....shame really :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Right... the tale of woe begins.

    My Dad has served his purpose in life, creating me, and could well be dead now for all I know... here's hoping!

    About eleven years ago, my parents divorced. I went to live with my Mum, she moved us away with her new boyfriend, I really missed my Dad and blamed my Mum for the separation. My Dad fuelled this by telling my younger bother and I what she had done with this other man when we saw him every weekend. He told us he couldn't afford to take us out due to my Mother taking all his money (he had to pay child support). He would never phone us, incase our Mum answered the phone, and often forgot my brothers birthday.

    After seven years of his "feel-guilty-shit" my Mum got a new, new boyfriend and we moved around the corner from my old Dad, admittedly I didn't go around to see him very often, but I was expected to arrange anything. The last time I ever saw or heard from my Dad was three years ago, he took me to a pub and on a walk to meet his new girlfriend Jean. The next occasion I tried to see him, I walked around the corner to his house and noticed different cars in his drive... on closer inspection, when I went up and knocked on his door, a helpful bemused woman told mr he had moved out a week earlier. I went and told my little brother our Dad had moved out without telling us... would we ever see him again? I had now realised that my Mum had to leave my Dad all those years earlier, he was the most childish selfish bastard ever to walk the Earth.

    I did my A-levels and turned 18 in the following months... my Dad didn't even ask how I was or phone me. I recieved a card with a cheque for £20 which I cashed immediately to mask my feelings of utter rejection. My Dad found my brother one night, walking home from school, to give him his new telephone number. My brother gave my Dad my mobile number too. Has he ever phoned me? ...has he fuck! Well, a year passed and my brother called my Dad (even though he missed his birthday again) on Father's Day. They went out for a meal, I left my Dad a message that I was watching North End in the playoffs. Still, my brother doesn't talk to my Dad regularly, and as I'm so stubborn and don't need him, I'll never see him again. It's been over three years now, and I'll be 21 this year. I doubt he cares, I don't need him, and I'll never be able to trust him. He is worthless to me (I know he cashed in a trust-fund thing for me and my brother after the divorce), he behaved like a bastard, taking future money from his own children.

    So, Malcolm, fuck you... shove Father's Day right up your slack ass! It would amuse me to picture you die a slow, but quiet, agonising death (for the pain you've caused me and the people I love, namely my Mother and brother), but you are my Dad and I'm bigger and stronger than you'll ever be. I am a man in all the ways you couldn't be. I truely hope you die alone so you too realise what abandonment by the people who you love really feels like. And don't worry, I'll get over what you've done, but I'll never forgive you. How does it feel to be a pathetic old man, who's own offspring couldn't care less about?

    I'll admit it, reading this back.... I have issues.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's a bit hard to adequately describe my relationship with my dad. When I was a little girl we got on really well - I was the youngest, and his only daughter, so I was 'special'. But after I turned 8 he started working overseas most of the time, and hence I wouldn't see him for months on end. By the time I was 13, therefore, having him live at home 24/7 again became very trying - we would argue constantly about totally insignificant things. It's gotten a lot better since then (I'm now 18 and he's 66 tomorrow), but we still disagree about tiny issues a bit too often! I'm a lazy slob and he's a super organised neat freak, so he tends to nag me constantly about getting things done (I'm a last minute type person), which never fails to irritate me no end. He's very intellectual and the only time we get on really well is if we talk about politics or ideas or books etc. (We're both obsessed with books, so in this strange way we understand each other on a certain level; and I'm eternally grateful to him for expanding my reading horizons, so to speak.) Neither of us is particularly emotional or into 'discussing our feelings', unlike my mum. We're very alike in many ways, which is why I think we tend to argue a lot. But I'm really glad that he's my father and I wouldn't change him if you paid me :).
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well seeing how you asked, I might as well tell.

    In my eyes my father died the day he decided to walk out of the 27 year marriage with my mother. At first I was going to see him and still talk to him until I found out certain things about him.

    When he left he said that he didnt love my mum anymore and that he had found someone else and was going away with them. The person stayed in wales which was fair enough, I thought he had done the decent thing and told us instead of having an affair. This was not true, through my mums 27 year marriage, my father had 7 different affairs behind my mums back we know this as his old workmates adn family told us. Even when my big brother and I was born, he was still having them.

    He left his high paying job(manager in IBM) to what we thought was to start his own company(chemical express) this wasnt the case, the only reason he started his company was so that he got his own van and that he could go and meet this woman in wales. Of course because he didnt really have any interest in the company, it failed and my mother at the time was unfairly dismissed from her job as her boss wanted a younger secretary to work for him. We were going to take the company to court but we decieded against it.

    This left us in serious financial difficulty, we had to find another source as the chemical company wasnt bringing in enough. This was when my father suggested we buy a pub off our friends, which my mother didnt really want to do as she thought she wouldnt be able to do it(she lacks confidence). After one year of owning my pub, which needs two people to run, my father left for the other woman leaving my mum to run it herself. He also left on my Big brothers 18th birthday party and also when I was just starting my standard grades.

    He then blamed my mother on everything in a divorce settlement and stopped paying for me to goto college because I wasnt talking to him. He hasnt helped me since he left(nearly 5 years ago) and my mum had to be put on anti-depressant pills, which turned her into a zombie, seeing her like this tore me apart as I only wanted the best for her and it felt I couldnt do anything as I was too young.

    I will never forgive my father as through my whole life when he was still with us he told me not to cheat on woman and treat them with respect, he basically lied to me through my whole life and that I do not forgive, also for all the pain he put my mum through which she didnt deserve.

    My father was also very tight with his money when I was younger and he never really bought any gifts for us until the 5 months before he left, he bought me and my brother lots of gifts, this it turn was so he could look like the better parent in that we would like him instead of my mum when he told us he was leaving.

    Sorry for the long post, and thanks for reading it. I hope you get a good picture of what my father is like :( :mad:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Right... the tale of woe begins.
    Originally posted by captain kirk
    The last time I ever saw or heard from my Dad was three years ago...

    I did my A-levels and turned 18 in the following months... my Dad didn't even ask how I was or phone me.

    Sorry, but I forgot that my Dad did contact me in the last three years... upsettingly it added insult to the injury that my Dad never phoned me, even on my mobile at Christmas, after exams or on my birthday. However, at 5pm this past new years eve I recieved a text message saying; "HAPPY NEW YEAR! From Dad and Jean." In three years I got the occasional birhtday card, I never knew his new address (somewhere in Horwich / Blackrod area) even though it's only a twenty minute car ride for him, he never even called me. Then, out of the blue, a happy fucking text message - meaning he's had my number all this time - is he taking the piss?

    [bitter]

    I don't speak to anyone from his side of the family now, which is a shame, and I've moved out on my own... so hopefully they'll never find me and ruin my life again!

    [/bitter]
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *hugs to Kirk & wuckfit*

    Kirk, sweetie, of course you have issues, our parents hold the most power to hurt us and fuck us up, no matter how much we wish they had no effect. It's not your fault, and I am really sorry things ended up such a mess. You are the better man.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My father is quite an odd specimen, he and my mother were happily married, i would of been about 10, good jobs, all was well :) Then he meet a rather attractive young blond lady and so the decline began, my mum found out, domestic violence and divorce followed, he stole my sister and my savings from the post office, lost his job as a sergeant after hitting a police car at great speed having gone through a red light whilst drunk (quite unfortunate, despite the obvious stupidity) which was local paper headline story, his binbow then left him as he lost his job and narrowly avoided prison :rolleyes:, huge debts for mother and father alike followed, we had to move houses and schools, he finally hit the straight and narrow after been admitted to a mad house.

    He now works as a delivery man, getting up at 4 every morning, he basically lost everything and he is very cut up about it. I've forgiven, it was such a weird episode, he is a great bloke, thats the stupid thing, but he is now more a mate than farther and i only see him once or twice a year, through choice, i can forgive what happened to me, but not what he did to my mum and he knows as much.

    Let that true story be a lesson to you all ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by kaz
    *hugs to Kirk & wuckfit*

    Kirk, sweetie, of course you have issues, our parents hold the most power to hurt us and fuck us up, no matter how much we wish they had no effect. It's not your fault, and I am really sorry things ended up such a mess. You are the better man.

    I think this isn't such a bad thing, over time we will probably get in contact, although I will never be able to fully forgive him or trust him... I think I do still love him (which is infuriating)!

    His actions have taught me how not to behave, as he disgusted me. Thus, I will become a better family man and successful father inspite of his actions. I think I've turned out alright, definately due to my wonderful loving mummy.

    And, obviously this lack of a strong male role-model and father figure has given me this rebelious attitude toward any form of authority... which I consider to be one of my best features. I've become a stubborn, but strong, independant man. I wouldn't be me if I took shit... which I've learnt never to do.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, babe, that's kinda what I wanted to say but made a piss job of it.

    good for you
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by kaz
    Yeah, babe, that's kinda what I wanted to say but made a piss job of it.

    good for you

    Right, now let's get pretty damn drunk, smash up this callcentre and start a fat-fire in the office tuck-shop!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by captain kirk


    Right, now let's get pretty damn drunk, smash up this callcentre and start a fat-fire in the office tuck-shop!

    *downs whiskey*

    *chucks most expensive piece of equipment to hand*

    *grabs chocolate before Kirk starts fire*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My daddy? Well, he and I are more alike than anyone cares to admit. We have the same attitude towards money (spend, spend, spend :D ) and we both seem quiet, but are no pushovers. I love him to bits, and would like to say that there's nothing I'd change. But there is.

    He smokes like a chimney; even though he knows that some of the family have breathing problems, he refuses to stop. But when his best friend comes round (together with his wife who has asthma), surprise surprise! Out go the cigarettes, and the house is a smoke free haven :mad:

    Besides that little issue, we get on ok. I always know where I stand with him, we love each other and he gives me money like there's no tomorrow ;)

    *hugs to kirk and others*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I get on well mith my dad. After he foung a new job in the north east 10 years ago, it meant my mum and dad spent less and less time together. Divorce was more or less on the cards and wasn't a great shock when he told me.

    I felt sorry for him whilst he had to endure some shite living conditions (a caravan round the back of a B&B farm house) until he finally found a place of his own. He then met found a new g/f and lived happily together until March this year when things just didn't work out.

    He is now renting a lovely little cottage comtemplating a move abroad, hence why he is currently in Canada with my uncle, who lives out there. Also having to endure bastard kick off times for the world cup!

    Above all else, he's a top bloke and I wouldn't change him for the world.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Attention: Hard Nuts!

    £20 (or a bag of Smack) for the first person to knee-cap my dad.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    the posts i have just read here...and i've read everyone, are the most heartwarming yet also disturbing things yet for me, on this site.my father used to physicaly batter me yet treat my mother and three sisters with love and tenderness..for a little kid thats confusing painfull stuff.
    i went to his funeral two years ago and not one tear for the bastard.
    when i got home i did shed a few for myself . at 47yrs old i felt i had been set free..like some great burden had been taken off my back......can't explain it. i left home at 15 so he had no influence in my life after that, or so i thought. but i must have carried that pain and anger around with me 24hrs a day without knowing.
    the feeling of relief that the bastard was gone ...well.
    very brave of you lot to tell that stuff......new respect for you all.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by morrocan roll

    very brave of you lot to tell that stuff......new respect for you all.

    Agreed.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't like him, refuse to be daddy's little boy and do as I'm told, why should I when I hardly saw him for three years and when his excuses for not coming to small (but important) events in my life due to work and his 'social life' kept on coming.

    Plus he's a bigoted twat, the ultimate in British bulldog male, racist (through stereotyping), sexist and most worrying for me, intensly homophobic.

    Oh well he can be OK sometimes, I just wish it wasn't so easy for me to argue with him about everything.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Agree with Moroccan roll and kaz, my respect for you guys has risen. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think once you've had a child, male genetics ensure that you become a dissapointment and embarassment. It's good to know there are some decent dad's out there, exceptions to the rule.

    Three years... one text message! What could possibly be the reasoning behind that? What was he thinking: "I know! After these years of neglect a HAPPY NEW YEAR text message will sort it all out!" I never even replied. What a mess! It seriously panics me to think I am made up of his genetic material... what was my mother thinking?

    Jeez, this thread is fucking depressing me! I'm sat at work thinking about all this stuff that I hadn't thought about in ages... just realised it was his birthday in April, he'll be well over 50 now.
    Come on people cheer me up!

    *Remembers England match tomorrow followed by Curry at night and weekend of drinking and parties!*
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