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A much older man
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok, it might be too soon to talk about this, but i'd like to mention it incase it does happen, as it could do eventually. I like this man who is 19 years older than me, and i really want to be with him, but the thing is, he doesn't know that i'm a virgin.He was also in a relationship with someone for 8 years, and was with a couple of other people quite long term before her, and i'm worried that he will compare me to his exes, especially his most recent ex. I know some of you may think that it would be better for me to lose my virginity to someone my own age who also hasn't had much experience, but i really like this guy alot. We talk on msn and he keeps flirting with me in a sexual way saying he wants to be " naughty " with me, and says that some day we will . I don't think he is after just sex though, as he hs told his friends about how much he likes me, they told me what he has said to them,and he does talk about other things with me, such as music films, places we've been to, family ,friends, e.t.c, and i do know that people can mention being " naughty " even with someone they want to be with, and not just with someone they only want for sex. When we have met up so far, he has winked at me afew times, once he was stood next to me with his arm around me and was stroking my hair, i was sat next to him once and he stood up to walk past me and stroked my leg and held my hand as he got up to walk past me.And he has bought me a drink a couple of times, stood near me when i have been talking to other people, and we've kissed a couple of times,e.t.c. I do flirt back with him as obviously i like him, but i'm not sure how he'd react if i told him i don't have much sexual experience.
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First question.
How old are you?
From my experience, older men with relationships under their belt aren't put off if their younger lover is a virgin. In fact, I think any man worth his salt would feel very special and flattered that he is their first.
Good sex is not about how experienced you are, it's whether you "fit" together.
Providing you are 18 or over, you can find friendly, non-judgmental advice and support on age-gap relationships at http://www.mindtheagegap.com . It's a community of people in age-gap relationships.
:yes:
haha, I didn't read the op but scanned it over with my eyes to find some kind of numbers in this post (to see if this is her, mentioning her age), alas didn't find anything and came to ask the same question.
To be honest from what you said it sounds like at the moment he likes you but perhaps only in a sexual way, but it also sounds like he has got respect for you. I might have heard a bloke mention being "naughty" once or twice. It's probably something to do with where he's from or people he hangs around with. I wouldn't worry too much about what lingo he uses.
But personally, if it was me, I would wait for him to start spending more time with me and to spell out that he wants a relationship with me before going down the sexual route.
I've been worried about him comparing me to his ex too, not just sexually, but in general.Probably because he was with her for a long time .
Why not try and suggest going out for drinks and a meal together? On a proper "date" and just see what he says. If he's willing to go then great you two get to spend some time together.
If he says no or steers you back onto going to his house then i'd be slightly dubious.
If people want to date you properly they'll be happy to go out and about with you. Just be careful as if you've not got a lot of experience i'd hate for you to rush in and get used. Although sorry, don't mean to sound patronising
I have no problems with age gaps, if there's a chemistry there then it shouldn't matter.
Is it a long way? You still do have the option of the taxi. It just depends in your own confidence in how you may deal with the situation, and how much you trust him. Remember, "No" is still a solid answer.
On the one hand, you might have a really good time and hit it off, on the other, you might end up doing something you could regret.
If you feel totally comfortable with being at his house and think you can trust him, I would go but I would make sure the taxi is booked beforehand just in case, then if you decide you can stay over, you can ring up the taxi company and politely cancel.
If you feel a little unsure, it might be wise to get to know him a little better before going round his.
I think Carolina put it really well
I then told him the rest, by saying that i do like him, and i agreed with what he said about meeting in town, and i don't mind going to his house at some point but i just don't want to rush into anything.What i meant by that was just rushing into the sexual side, i hope he didn't think i meant rushing into a relationship, as i would like a relationship with him. He might have guessed from me saying that that i haven't had much experience sexually before, even though i didn't actually come right out and say it,who knows.He said it was ok and asked me not to worry, and that we'd arrange another time when we get to know each other better.
To answer your question, g_angel, it is quite along way, yes.We live in the same town, but different parts of it, it's quite a big area, so i would need some kind of transportation to get to his house.
Thanks for your help everyone, i really appreciate it, and it's great to have your support