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I am meant to feel..

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
..so pants after counselling sessions? it seems to happen every time i try to go. :(

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sorry, that's 'am i meant to feel this pants...?'
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's exactly the reason why I HATE counselling. I went a few times and felt fucking awful after each session. Er, what is the point in that? I'm going to counselling to try and feel better, and learn how to deal with my moods so they don't get in the way of living my life, and yet counselling has the complete opposite effect. (For me, at least).

    I prefer CBT for this reason. I came out of each session feeling better, more able to cope and more functional.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What type of counseling are you having?
    I have CBT and at the beginning I felt the same way - you are dragging up complicated and painful emotions and that's not easy. But keep at it; soon as you begin to work through some of your issues you will feel like a weight is lifted each time you leave.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just typical sessions of chatting one to one with a counsellor, through the student services. He was nice and everything, but i still felt rubbish afterwards. This is my third time at it and i want to keep to it so then next time someone suggests i go i can say, yeah i've already done that.
    Hopefully though, it will make a difference and nobody else will suggest that i go again.
    I 've had CBT before in group therapy, and it was good, but i felt the time was right for a more one to one type of therapy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi,

    I am having counselling at the moment. On occasion I come out feeling like I might have a nervous breakdown. It takes me a day or two to kind of filter through and file away everything I have discussed in that session before I feel better.

    I think I am having combined therapy as we don't seem to have any set pattern but use lots of different methodologies to work through my issues depending on what it is. I have a LOT of issues, culminating in me being a nervous wreck generally.

    I think it is best to work at it. You might find it gets harder before it gets easier due to lots of repressed thoughts and experiences coming out. Once you get through it, you might find you wonder why you even questioned it.

    I totally get how you feel!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    from past experience i know what some sessions can be very tough emotionally. do you think it's just that? i've had some sessions where i've just locked myself in my room for the rest of the day, but i think it helps to get things out no matter how hard it may seem at the time. do you think it's helping overall?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're talking about some distressing things, it's not going to leave you feeling like you can take on the world.

    It takes time. You've only been to three sessions.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it's not my 3rd session it's my third time over several years trying it, with quite big gaps in between.
    I understand what you all mean, and of course i'll give it more time. thanks for your comments. if you still have something you want to share i don't mind reading it. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But maybe if you've tried in three times and haven't got anything out of it then it just isn't for you. Why stick at something that doesn't seem to make you feel better, and if anything, makes you feel worse?

    I admit now that I am prejudiced against counselling, because I had a very negative experience of it. And I think perhaps there are some people who it could work for, it just so happens that I am not one of them.

    But my perspective on it is this. If you have some deep-seated problems that are rooted in your past or your childhood, that you haven't yet fully dealt with or moved on from, then perhaps talking to a counsellor, working through them and finding out what those issues are, is a good idea.

    Similarly, if you are someone who has emotional issues that you aren't fully aware of, because you don't have a high degree of insight or self-awareness into why you feel the way you do, then perhaps counselling can help to bring to light those problems and be a useful step in moving on from them.

    But for me, neither of those were true. I didn't have any unresolved issues from my past or my childhood. I didn't want to talk about my relationship with my parents, my siblings, not because it was painful or difficult for me, but just because I felt it was irrelevant. I just have some bad habits and negative patterns of thought and behaviour which I need some help to deal with, some strategies for coping with when they arise, so they don't knock me off my feet.

    But all my counsellor wanted to do was get me to talk about my childhood, my relationship with my siblings, sad memories from my past. And yeah, if you get me to dwell on sad things that have happened in the past, then you'll upset me and make me cry. But so what? I got the impression she felt she was doing something amazing, breaking through some barriers by making me upset, that she was some kind of amazing healer. But I just found it destructive, it made me feel worse, not better, and told me nothing about myself that I didn't already know.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know how you feel, its dragging the past up all over again and i often felt so drained afterwards, but after a few days, i felt better for it, you know,for getting it all off my chest.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree with the feeling drained, sometimes i'd have to go straight to bed afterwards as i was so tired/emotional. I went to councilling for depression/anxiety and i did talk about my relationships with parents etc, but it was more of a part of how they had shaped me as a person, and how they influenced my world view, which- after a few painful sessions- helped me to work on building up my self esteem, (for me.. i didn't realise how much guilt i was carrying around for no reason relating to my family relationships, and how this had become linked to my self esteem)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But yeh, i've done 3 types of councilling, person-centered (talking therapy), psychotherapy and CBT- of all 3, the CBT benifited me the most, because i enjoyed the scientific/analytic structure, but i find on-to-one talking therapy good in a short term crisis also (except if it's with the on duty crisis team...ARGGG :S)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    re

    Hey Nutter,

    Sounds like an interesting and valuable conversation from all on the subject of counselling which many people find so difficult, its great to see everyone be so open with their experiences whether positive or challenging of counselling. Hopefully others reading this thread will gain some knowledge on the subject.

    Counselling is a very individual experience for everyone from the type counselling, to the length of time of the counselling to your relationship with your counsellor.

    As you will know from your sessions you are in control of what you bring and dont bring to the sessions. It maybe worth exploring with your counsellor how your feeling. Your counsellor maybe able to suggest or facilitate ways through this difficult time.

    Dont feel bad for feeling rubbish, counselling isnt easy so well done for being proactive in looking after your health.

    let us know how your getting on:wave:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    helloo..
    Yes i suppose it is a proactive thing.. I couldn't face going in the midst of what felt like a near nervous breakdown, but now some time has passed i can really think clearly about things.
    I attended again today. I left feeling better than last time. Maybe it was something to do with him doing most of the talking, or maybe it was meeting up with a good friend afterwards. Who knows. Either way it seems that this may have ups and downs, but i'm determined to keep going for a bit longer.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've always felt completely shit before, during and after counselling sessions, whatever type, and for whatever issue I was having counselling for. Some people find it useful to talk to people who are trained to know what to say, some people just find it patronising. If you carry on feeling so bad after counselling, maybe you should tell the shrink that, they might be able to suggest something else you could do instead.
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