best footie jokes?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
Come on, share a few :)

I just heard a few good ones, sorry to those west ham fans out there.


How do you make a hammers fan run? Build a job centre.

Whats the worst thing about upton park? the seats face the pitch.

Whats the difference between west ham and a teabag? the teabag stays in the cup longer.

What's the difference between West Hams goalkeeper and a taxi driver?
the taxi driver will only let 4 in!

Feel free to share some, i love them :)

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jamie Redknapp.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *waves claret and blue shirt* how dare ye lol?

    Based on tonight's performance, I'll just say Liverpool.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Come on, share a few :)

    I just heard a few good ones, sorry to those west ham fans out there.


    How do you make a hammers fan run? Build a job centre.

    Whats the worst thing about upton park? the seats face the pitch.

    Whats the difference between west ham and a teabag? the teabag stays in the cup longer.

    What's the difference between West Hams goalkeeper and a taxi driver?
    the taxi driver will only let 4 in!

    Feel free to share some, i love them :)

    Quite good *insert team* generic jokes :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nothing better than a few footie jokes to cheer ya up :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Urgh. I am so glad I was A) At work and B) Not working in our Plaistow shop last night, otherwise I would have almost certainly have gotten caught up in it all. I know there's history but come on, I remember going to West Ham V Millwall when I was 14, and fair enough, it was a Sunday and a 12pm kick off, but all the local pubs got special licenses and we lost but there still wasn't really any trouble. Worst violence I'd ever seen firsthand was when I went over to Palermo for the UEFA cup. The thing with that was, the way it was reported back here and the way it was to actually be there were two very different things. I remember running like a maniac with my dad and brother trying to find our hire car whilst a gang of Palermo supporters were chasing us on mopeds. How we came out of that one unscathed, I do not know.

    I wish a minority wouldn't spoil it for the majority *sigh* I've gone well off-topic here, should probably have stuck this in a different thread.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Millwall are just thugs in my opinion.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Millwall fans weren't involved at all in the violence inside the Boleyn Ground. All the pitch invaders were Happy Hammer scum.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Usually its millwall though, they are the ones with a reputation with violence and that.. Both teams are scummy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've never really had too much bother at Millwall games. The most violence I've ever seen at a football match was when my team, Bradford, played Scumchester United. Sharpened coins being thrown at toddlers, I hope the Glazers bankrupt the cunts.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    God, sounds quite bad. I havent been to a millwall game, but my ex was a huge fan, and he told me many stories about their games and how violent they could get. Aparantly the violence is the main reason why people support them, because there proud to be part of a 'hard' team.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've heard mixed reports. I've heard a rumour that some Millwall fans got tickets for the West Ham parts of the ground, which is possible as tickets were being sold until 5pm yesterday. I agree that the pitch invaders were West Ham 'fans' but it must've been a bit of both in the streets. Some Millwall fans or just odds and sods who fancied a fight clearly turned up just to get bloody noses because the fighting was still going on outside during the match. Like I said before, I've been to some pretty violent matches and last time we played Millwall, it kicked off outside a pub more towards Plaistow than Upton Park itself. The immediate area didn't see much trouble at all. I only know it kicked off at Plaistow because the company I work for has a branch in Plaistow and they had to shut the shop. Without actually being there, I can't say who did what and who started this that and the other. A lot of people were in the wrong and have ruined the names of both clubs and the game as a whole.

    As a final point, I'll just reiterate what I said before about the Palermo incident. What gets reported and what the truth was don't always match. I remember seeing much stuff when I came back about for West Ham fans had done xyz, and perhaps a minority had, but the majority of people I saw were just like me and my family: running for our fraking lives from hooligans on mopeds trying to whack us one as we went past. I wasn't even in colours, I just wasn't Sicilian so I was a target.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I love watching videos of football violence! Post more please :P

    Me too :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dundee FC
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dundee FC

    :heart: it.
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