Change needed?

Former Member

Okay... so I guess I kinda fall under the "emo" status in most peoples books.... I don't think of myself as any fashion personally... But I get bullied for it. Should I change to stop it? Cos, I get beaten up ect. And I've been to the police but they said there is nothing they can do. I don't see why I should change my clothes/music likes and stuff, but would it be worth it??
C-A xxx

Former Member

crying-angel wrote: »

would it be worth it??

Only you can decide that, i guess it depends how much you value your image.
Personally id probably change, why put the effort in to make yourself a victim

Former Member

The bullying might stop in frequency but I doubt it would do too much good since they've already identified you as a target. And why should you have to? Imo you should look into taking up a martial art so you can defend yourself should the need arise, and in the meantime try and find some friends who are into similar music/scene. Preferably ones who are into the more hardcore side of emo.

Also might wanna post a topic in Relationships or somewhere about the bullying :v

Former Member

It kind of depends where the bullying is, in day to day life, at school, at college, at uni?

You can't change who you are as a person, but sometimes moderating yourself to adjust to the people around you can make life more comfortable to everyone. That doesn't mean changing your taste in music or who you are as a person but may mean toning down the more extreme dress styles etc.

Former Member

if you are being beaten up then the police should be dealing with it...its assult!

i was bullied at school for my piercings and for what i wore and for dyeing my hair and labled a hundred different things. your style is an important part of you, and changing that is giving the bullys ammunition, because you are showing them that they are having a strong effect on you.

don't change who you are, and go back to the police, but try using the word assult this time...

Former Member

I don't think you should change who you are or how you dress but maybe change the way you react to the bullies. Maybe find out if a local community centre/leisure does any martial arts (it'll give you confidence as well as the feeling that you can handle yourself) and assertiveness/confidence classes which will teach you how to hold yourself when they start on you and will help you feel good and positive about yourself so they see you as less of a target.

Former Member

lea_uk wrote: »

I don't think you should change who you are or how you dress but maybe change the way you react to the bullies. Maybe find out if a local community centre/leisure does any martial arts (it'll give you confidence as well as the feeling that you can handle yourself) and assertiveness/confidence classes which will teach you how to hold yourself when they start on you and will help you feel good and positive about yourself so they see you as less of a target.

:yes: I went to classes and it helped sooo much. I got up to brown belt (two away from black) and it's made me so much more confident.

I don't think anyone should change the way they look for other people, they should only do it for themselves. I hate how situations turn to people feeling that They need to change how they look just so others will leave them alone.

Former Member

I know how you feel, a few years ago, i felt like this, i felt like i had to 'change' to fit in with the rest. But its not worth it(in my opinion) and the best advice i could give you is to be yourself, you may have to deal with shit on the way, but at the end of the day, if your happy and feel comfortable with yourself,thats all the matters.

Former Member

I was lucky when i was growing up, in that i had a lot of friends that were into the same style/music...and i guess our style wasn't so 'nameable' (we were into punk/ska so kinda dressed sk8r, but with loads of bright bracelets etc, we used to get called 'grungers') The worst (and most random?) attack we had was some 'chavs' throwing eggs at us in Camden (they ran past and called US chavs! wff??)
Now my friends and i all have quite different styles, and i guess we mix mainstream clothes, with alt labels, and i guess, there is more respect from people my age about the style choices anyone makes.

Former Member

Tr4shed wrote: »

.
People don't like different people, because they are ignorant and scared.

:yes: agreed.

Former Member

If you're not that bothered about the whole 'emo' thing, and it's just the way you dress, you're not doing that really iritating 'I'm so emo I just can't help myself' thing then it might be worth changing. I used to dress emo/gothy, and most of my year at school bullied me, or just ignored me, but now I just dress kind of normal, although I don't really bother with brands and stuff, and most people at least tolerate me.
Although I'd advise you not to suddenly go from emo type clothes to preppy stuff in the space of a day, it would look a bit weird and it would seem like the bullies had won, just tone it down gradually, if you're going to change.
But really it's up to you: what's more important, looking 'emo' or not getting beat up etc.
Hope that helps!
x