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Dealing with someone's depression?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Health & Wellbeing
The new meds the missus is on hasn't done anything for her, in fact she says it has made her feel worse than before yet she won't vists the GP, most of the time she wants to cut her self of from the outside world and not see or speak to anyone, she mostly wants to go a sleep and not wake up and suicidal thoughts run rife in her head yet she doesn't want to seem to get any help, she likes to think she can deal with it herself.

This now is effecting me and she has defiantly changed as well, she gets more angry with things even if she doesn't show it and I'm quite sure the little one is starting to sense her mood changes now. I have tried pretty much everything to help her but it's like she doesn't want to accept help, I think she's got a thing about not showing people that she too can be vulnerable which doesn't help.

Now I think she is mixing Venalafaxine(?) and Fluxatine(?) which isn't a good idea, she wouldn't stop even if I asked her to.

I was going to speak to our GP again as the missus is starting to concern me more now, though all I got from the GP last time was "maybe you should try couple counseling" :rolleyes:. And in any case I am not sure what she can do if the missus won't go and see her, I guess I just have to put up with it.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    heyya,
    Depression is hard to deal with, even harder if it's a loved one going thru it. Go to the GP and tell them what's happening, and if they wont listen, go to another one until somebody listens. Don't keep pushing her to tell you how she is blah blah blah, just make sure she knows you care and will be there for her no matter what she does. It is serious tho, and do try and talk to her- but if she wont listen you can't force her... it'll probaly make her worse. Anti-depressents are not very good, and only work for a handfull of people... they just numb the pain not get rid of it. Take her out for a meal or a night out, something she will enjoy. I think that counseling would be a good idea, but maybe not for both of you- just her.
    Good luck, and I wish you both the best x
    Crying-angel x x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh dear depression i really feel for you both it not only affects one but all involved.

    Ive had deppression now for 2 years and it is only since my medication changed and moved out from my partners home to give her a break. (as it is really hard on them to deal with) that im getting better to the point im returning to work. I am on 1oo mg of setriline a day and feel good
    .

    There is help out there your GP is best to speak to also a proffesional phsyciatrist.

    I wish you both luck on your journey.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Saw the GP today but she didn't want to know as she cannot discuss anything to do with my partner without her consent, that's also something she wouldn't do so I guess I'm left in limbo and will have to watch rather then get some help and advice.

    I expressed my concerns that she is suicidal and is mixing AD's but again they turned their nose up at it and didn't want to know.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That is correct they need there consent no matter what. Have you tried to get the GP to do a home visit then you are both there?

    This page may help for now.

    http://www.nhs.uk/Pathways/depression/Pages/Landing.aspx?WT.srch=1&gclid=CLWps7GPnJwCFUYA4wodX0GGeA


    If you need feel free to pm im going throught.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Heyya again,
    Okay- well talking is the key here I guess. I myself am suffer manic depression.... depression isnt nice in any form.... But please talk to your girlfriend. It's all that'll really help x
    C-A x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you spoke to organisations such as MIND and Samaritans?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    crying-angel wrote: »
    Heyya again,
    Okay- well talking is the key here I guess. I myself am suffer manic depression.... depression isnt nice in any form.... But please talk to your girlfriend. It's all that'll really help x
    C-A x

    And that is one of the problems, she tends to bottle things up, it's always "I'm fine", then she breaks down and we talk, next day it's as if nothing ever happened. It goes round in circles.

    Melian, no I have not as yet.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Makoto,

    You have been given some great advice on here. We just wanted to add that you could perhaps you could speak to a different GP, as the one you have described sounds like they have been quite unhelpful now and also in the past. You have a right to a second opinion and to speak to another Doctor of you are not happy with the response you have been given. Whilst your partner's confidentiality cannot be broken, they might be able to suggest ways around the problem?

    Unfortunately we cannot make someone change, they have to want to do it themselves. It must be hard to see your partner like this and particularly hard if you have a small child too. Do you have support from family and/or friends? As you must take care of yourself too. As has been suggested, Mind and the Samaritans are great resources to access.

    Do keep posting and take care :)
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