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Big and Beautiful?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi, I was watching this tv show this morning and they were having this discussion about does being big ruin your relationship? A lot of people said they had less confidence being large and they wanted to lose weight to change this. Does anyone else feel like this? Also, one woman said her partner only went for small women and for him to go back with her, she had to lose some weight. I though that was really awful as you should love the person inside and not judge people just on looks. What does everyone else think/feel??

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How can you be with someone who wants something completely different? What i mean is if a woman is big and she gets a bloke and vice versa, how can they turn around and say they like their partners slimmer when they've already agreed to be with them when there big....does that make sense?! If they dont like big women, why agree to be with them in the first place?
    Personally if a bloke asked me to lose weight, cos he prefered it i wouldn't bother.

    End of they day they gotta like you for who you are...not what you could be :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I totally agree with what you said there LacyMay2k. I think i forgot to put in that the woman was thin when this bloke started seeing her, she put on weight and thats when he said those things. Some people are really shallow-minded :mad: !
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm hardly stick thin, but I don't find any difficulty with my relationship. The only problems come when I constantly moan to my boyfriend about how I want to lose weight!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Does your "moaning" irritate your b/f then, Bumblebee?

    I can't speak for every guy, but personally I would choose a relationship by personality and the ability to hold a decent conversation. Also the ability to talk about anything without holding back.

    It's a woman's perrogative (sp?) to choose how she looks of course, but I find some girls go a little too far trying to imitate catwalk models!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It makes you feel more self conscious about yout bf finding yoiu sexy and looking at you naked.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It makes you feel more self conscious about yout bf finding yoiu sexy and looking at you naked

    Most men are just happy seeing any girl undress for them!!

    She doesn't have to be a supermodel and be perfect.

    The time and energy you girl put into putting yourself down and thinking your fat you could lose the weight and build up your confidence
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well i have to say my weight stops me from pursuing a relationship, because im so unhappy about the way i look.

    What ever anybody says, you cannot be with someone you dont find attractive.

    Yes "personality" is most important, and being able to talk, but being attracted to them is also a substantial prt of a relationship.

    So i probably wont be able to be with someone until i am able to look in the mirror and say "hmm, im not half bad".

    that day is probably some time away.

    but you are right, NOONE should be made to lose weight if they dont want to.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if it's the same one that i saw, i think i remember the bloke himself looking like a drowning sewer rat.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If a woman wants to lose weight to make herself more confident then whats the problem..Seems like a good idea to me.

    In an ideal, imaginary, fairy tale world then people would be judged on whats inside.....In the real world, things are different.


    Id have no problem asking my girlfriend to lose weight if she were hitting the pieshop a little too much...Just as I would be fine with her asking me to lose weight if I were getting porky.

    Its much better to be honest with people than pretend that you like then being fat.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So you follow the cruel to be kind way eh Balddog!?

    What if you think your in good shape but your gf doesn't think so, would you mind her asking you to lose weight then?

    And how would you tell you gf she over weight, or little fatter then you like her to be with out 1) her not sleeping with you, 2) telling you to *uck yourself, and 3) getting kick in the balls

    I know honest is the best policy but something like weight plays on girl's mind a lot and I wouldn't dare tell her she fatter then I like her to be. I would fear for my life

    Not sure how I would handle the overweigh Issue and "does this make my bums look big".

    If you approach works Balddog let me know, I make Reference of it for the near future
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its not really the cruel to be kind approach..Not unless her weight is getting to the point of endangering her life....Its just honestly. I prefer thinner girls and im not gonna lie about that.

    If I thought I was in good shape but my girlfriend didnt think I was then I wouldnt just not mind but I would expect her to tell me.

    I wouldnt be going out with a girl sensitive as to not be able to take honesty without doing any of the things you mentioned.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would prefer honesty, in a kind way. My bf always says I look fine and I don't need to lose weight, and calls for take aways and stops at the chippy and stuff and buys me chocolate. However I know that I have put on weight since being with him, going on the pill and being depressed and he doesn't help. Partners can be encouraging without making the other person feel down about themselves, they can help the other by motivating them and telling them nice things, complimenting them.

    I agree with balddog, to some extent. But there is a way you an do it without hurting the persons feelings.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by PussyKatty

    I agree with balddog, to some extent. But there is a way you an do it without hurting the persons feelings.

    Exactly....I dont mean im going to say to her 'Oi you fat munter, lose the spare tyre"...I will be nice and respectful about it..
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Balddog


    Exactly....I dont mean im going to say to her 'Oi you fat munter, lose the spare tyre"...I will be nice and respectful about it..

    LOL, who knows that form of Encouragement may work with some people, only have to look at these Fat camps, you know the boot camp but for "overweight" people.

    I perfer to be honest, its the best way i guess, as long as we use Tactfulness.

    Would if these fat camp can help me get my 6 pac?:rolleyes:
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