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legally disassociating yourself with your mother...
BillieTheBot
Posts: 8,721 Bot
..is this possible?
Beep boop. I'm a bot.
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I seem to think it is? Didn't McCauley Culkin 'divorce his parents?'
Or maybe it's just in America .......
i don't want to be associated with her though.
she's ruined my life up to now and now she's trying to ruin my future.
Bad parents are irrelevant once you become an adult. I've not spokent to my mother since 2000...
That really is a lovely thing to hear, and it speaks volumes about how far you've come - given the examples and upbringing she gave. But... it's wrong to let her false allegations and petty-mind ruin your life. You're now an adult, and you can do precisely as you please. If she's making stuff up just to mess you about, then she deserves everything she gets - whether family or not.
Much of it, we're born with. But as an adult, you choose your own family based on the people you meet, and how you expect others to behave. When inherited family cross the line where they are detrimental to your own life, you owe them nothing, and should place yourself and your future above and beyond any loyalty you'd be expected to have towards them.
It's youre life, bbb. She can do as she wants so long as it isn't detrimental to your own place in the world. Nobody who really cares for you would want to make your life more difficult than it need be...
its her alcohol related behaviour that could risk me losing my career. she's going off the rails. she's stealing alcohol from shops and repeatedly smashing up the nextdoor neighbour's windows - she is convinced they are against her. she was cautionned by police this week for criminal damange and tbh, she's just gone and done it again tonight. she's going to get charged soon. she is going around attacking people so no doubt she'll get charged with assaulting someone soon.
my step-dad told me tonight that she's started stealing bottles of alcohol (as my step-dad can't give her all the money he's earning - bills need to be paid) in large supermarkets by putting her handbag into her trolley then when she goes into the alcohol section, she puts the bottles of alcohol into her bag (as it looks as though she's putting the bottles into the trolley) and then she pays for her normal food things at the till. she's going to get caught soon and most likely get charged with theft.
theft charges are taken very seriously by the police when it comes to people applying. they look out for you being associated with people who could possibly blackmail you.
ive worked really hard for this job. im scared im going to lose it if she goes and gets herself charged with all these things. im also scared that when i apply for the police in a few years, they'll reject me on the basis of her criminal convictions (which ive read happens alot if you have family members with criminal convictions).
it sounds so selfish but im worried about my future.
i think as soon as you've started you need to speak first to your Unison rep (MAKE SURE YOU JOIN!) and then to Professional Standards.
They only look at people who have friends and relatives who are involved in serious crime, your mother stealing booze from shops is unlikely to affect your career, especially if you fill them in now.
Don't worry, the police know you can't choose your family, they know you can't control their behaviour. Unless their behaviour will somehow influence you in a negative way, it won't be an issue.
i have plans to join the union. are professional standards part of the union or are they separate? im worried about making them aware of my mother's actions and then it coming back to bite me on the arse.
im only worried because ive read so much about people failing vetting due to family members being trouble makers/having criminal convictions.
Professional Standards are the police of the police, ie the anti-corruption people. It is upto you if you tell them, although they will already know about your mother's convictions (that's if you put her details on your application.)
People who fail vetting do so because they have family members involved in SERIOUS crime, people who are easily corruptable.
If your mother was a drug dealer then yes you'd fail. Her being a petty thief and a drunk means you don't qualify
Speak to the professional standards unit anonymously if you have to for advice.
And yes, joining the union is a good idea.
They're looking at whether you can or will be nobbled because of your relationship with her. If you don't have a relationship with her, and you're open about her problems, then you won't have an issue.
And being honest really is the best course, they will already know about her convictions- they really are thorough.
ha, don't judge me. you don't know her or me. you don't know what she's like and you don't know what she's done to me and my family. sure, she brought me into this world but what exactly did i get from my mother? a life full of shit. thanks MOM!!!!!!!
:rolleyes:
That's a very naive point of view. Likely to the point of being useless...
Say someone comes on here, who has been beaten with saucepans, starved, neglected, and used as a tool to inflict pain on the father of the child.
Would that mother not warrant being "dissed"?
Slightly different, he was emancipated from them, meaning that, although he was technically a minor, their control of him was removed.
According to Wiki:
"Emancipation of minors is a legal mechanism by which a minor is freed from control by their parents or guardians, and the parents or guardians are freed from any and all responsibility toward the child. Until an emancipation is granted by a court, a minor is still subject to the rules of their parents or guardians."