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Help - think lost soul mate

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Recently went through a divorce, which was fine / meant to be.

Am part of AA and met someone there and connected immediately / like nothing I'd (or her - she said) had felt before. Very quick romance - over four months - with "I love you" bothways, travel, lots of time spent together, talk of future etc.. Same sense of humour, music / literature / movie tastes, same age etc.. She's 42 and never been married / no kids and I'm 41 with an ex and kids - which was a nice complement given she didn't want children of her own. Negatives: very jeoulous person (checked my facebook page regularly), short temper / anger outbursts out of nowhere, not very stable in moods - but I am very stable so calmed her down even though she left me scared to tell her things for fear of outbursts. My doctor thinks she has histrionic and borderline personality disorders - given her history with men, she seems to have gone from one to the next very quickly - FYI, she's quite attractive.

Long story short I recently drank. I'm not now and have been sober again for 60 days. But she immediately told me to "get out". I persude with love emails / letters asking for forgiveness and even gave her diamond earings I had already purchased for her birthday by leaving them on her door step. What did I get, the police at my house (and at my mothers who called her like twice during our relationship to see if I was there - so that was uncalled for!) telling me not to contact her anymore and returning the diamonds. I broke that rule and sent an apology letter one more time, only to have it "return to sender"

For the first time I'm dealing with the childish "ignore" break-up tactic and feel like I also have a "one that got away" which I've never had. I feel so broken, but also mad that she so quickly turned away and has been so mean. I feel like I can't get over this, it's been 6 weeks since last contact at all. How can you say you love someone than just pull back and ignore completely so quickly? I had at least wanted to stay friends.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She sounds like a nutter and you sound obsessed..probably better off just walking away imo
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Help - think lost soul mate

    Yeh. Forgot to add, when police came she had fronted all my letters with a typed "Exhibit A, Exhibit B etc.." typed on her letter head. Policeman said "sir, I would stay away from this girl" and circled his index finger around his temple.

    But me, know I need to let it go. Never been like this so am confused, usually just say "fuck it". Not sure if real love, way of being abandoned with just ignoring or maybe divorce then this, leaving me fragile I guess.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To help you to move on you need to realise that you are better off out of this relationship. She sounds like the sort of person who can't settle down for long, and although you feel like you've lost your soul mate believe me you will find somebody else and you'll look back at this relationship and be glad it's over! The 'honeymoon' period is over and she starts to show her true colours, she is not the lady you met and fell for.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think its a good thing she reacted this way. Shows you that she is a bit of a psycho, better to know now, then many months down the line.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Agree with all. Thanks ... it happened so fast my head is still spinning.

    Absolutely great to know now what I was in for down the road ... signs were there, but was taking the "I can save her" mentality - never healthy or doable.
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