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Miscarriage

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok, some of you might remember be from last year, some might not. my name was EmziiChick-x and i came on here and spoke about my ex leaving me to move to london, i was alone and scared. I left here once i found i was pregnant, but last august i had a miscarriage. Me and my ex where always arguing about it, and after a while i decided i wanted to keep the baby, but obviously it wasnt meant to be :( I miss that baby so much every single day, all i have left is a scan. On the 7th August, it will be a year since it happened and to be honest, i have no idea what im going to do with myself on that day :crying: Does anyone have any ideas on what i could do to remember the baby in a nice way that will help me feel any better? It still hurts so much, like it only happened yesterday.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i've lost a baby i keep thinking what would be a good thing to do in remeberance.

    my mum has lost 4 babies, and we planted apple trees in chalice well gardens in glastonbury in their memory. i go to visit them pretty much every year. i've written a poem about the little sister i never had...

    don't know if that helps. i'm still thinking of what to do for the loss of mine, i like the idea of planting something, so that something living carries on the memory.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    light a candle and have a cry
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thats lovely, i will do something like that. It took a lot to post this because most people will tell me to move on it was a year ago :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    mine was nearly 3 years ago, i'm not sure you ever completely "get over" losing a baby, like you never really "get over" losing a close friend or relative. you learn how to return to normal day to day life, but its always with you. its part of your life, you don't just get over something like that. you get over losing a piece of sentimental jewellery, or breaking an heirloom, you don't "get over" losing a baby.

    what you are feeling is perfectly normal :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi missemilylouise

    I'm really sorry to hear about your loss. Honouring your baby on August
    7th sounds like a really good idea.

    If you want any support from others who've lost babies you could check out SANDS website. It might help to remind you that there are a lot of people who've lost their babies and that there is no time by which you should have got over that. Keep posting here and let us know what you do to commemorate your precious baby.

    Take care :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was about to post the SANDS website but Cat Treats beat me to it! My mum used to be chairman of that society, has lost babies to a still birth and a miscarriage herself, and I did some voluntary work for the charity. The most important thing I came away from it is that everyone grieves at their own rate and that it isn't as simple as telling someone to get over it.

    Depending on where you are, in Lichfield Memorial Aboretum there is a SANDS garden dedicated to remembering babies lost. And actually, in my local cemetery there is a baby section with this poem on the plinth:

    To All Our Babies
    Lent Not Given
    Who Bud on Earth
    And Bloom in Heaven

    Hope things get easier!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sorry for your loss. I've had 2 miscarriages. one of my due dates is past now & the other is nov. for the first due date, I was having tests in the hospital so I just thought about the fact that the baby was due that day & hope that they are happy, wherever they are. Don't feel you "have to move on", you will never forget & you are entitled to feel sad, it was your loss & you have to deal with it the best way you know how.
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