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Heads a mess

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Well,I ended it with my gf fri morning......and my god there was a backlash.

She basically posted all my secrets I told her on facebook,all about my drugs past,told my sister all about how I feel I was pushed out of my family and feel like an invader,told my mate (ex mate now) who I used to talk to a lot that I thought she tricked my mate into getting her pregnant,Im a compulsive liar and all other things I cant remember.

I was texted that I should watch my back too....

Anyways,she keeps texting saying how much she loves me and how Ive wrecked her life.

But now with hindsight Im wondering whether I really tried in our relationship,did I let my insecurities about her past and my past get in the way and ruin it?
Im considering sending her a text I wrote out telling her about how I feel,basicallysaying how she wanted all my time and I needed space and understanding,I wanted to take her out and spoil her but not cos she expected me too and various other things because I want my side of the story told to her.

Then Ive been talking to her friend who says shes never been into a guy as much as me before and that she really does love me,that I ended it too quick and it shouldnt have happened like that.
She says we should meet up for a coffee and chat and to be honest Im thinking about it.

My issues in the relationship were obviously her past,then she started to lose affection and interest in sex (although she did have a miscarriage at 2 weeks which does help explain that) and she has a kid.
Now,I got no problem with her kid,hes lovely bless him but its such a massive commitment and while I do love her (I think) it has put a strain on us a bit.

Im really unsure what to do at the mo. Anyone been here?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh well, you've been dating a lunatic. Can't really do much on the internet-secret-sharing thingy I guess, but the "watch your back" is a threat and if you feel threatened or see some shady guys cutting cables under your car I would go to the police asap.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah,I got the "watch your back" text saved and my car is in the garage.:D

    The thing thats really getting to me though is we had such a great time together during the first 2 months and now shes saying "that girl then was fake,this is the real me now" and the real her is moody,tempramental over little things,demanding of all my time and expecting me to spend all my money on her....:chin:

    I dont know,Ive still got feelings for her but this last month has been pretty hellish for me honestly but Im wondering whether that is because we`ve both been down,Ive been off work and spending way too much time together so getting under each others feet.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To be honest if she's gonna do silly things like posting all your secrets online then shes a bit of a twat anyway mate so i'd say you're probably a lot better off without her
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The Leaf wrote: »
    I dont know,Ive still got feelings for her but this last month has been pretty hellish for me honestly but Im wondering whether that is because we`ve both been down,Ive been off work and spending way too much time together so getting under each others feet.

    It's quite natural to be questioning your decision, especially if you feel like there were a lot of external pressures on you both that may have led to things breaking down.

    From the sounds of it, you've both struggled to keep things afloat and her actions since you ended it sound pretty confusing. Sometimes no matter how much you might want things to work out, situations and timing can get in the way but you find yourself thinking what if this was different or that was different maybe we could have worked?

    It might be worth baring in mind that depsite the ups and downs a lot of couples go through, it can be during the downs that you find out if you've got a future together. Supporting each other, comunicating about how you're feeling and working through the hard times, can be a real test of a relationship.

    Maybe give yourself some space from her, even if it's just one full week without any contact at all and tell her that you need the time to clear your head. Once you engage in more back and forth about what's happened you may find yourself even more confused :( Maybe you need some time to figure out exactly what you want and to make a decision on your own?

    Look after yourself :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Cheer up son.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She sounds fucking mental!

    Personally after she posted all that I would simply be the better man and not speak about her or speak to her again. Then again you might want things to work out properly with her.

    She sounds like the kind of girl who would try to guilt trip you into staying with her - the old "im gonna kill myself" routine. So if you dont want anything else to do with her don't speak to her or have any contact with her.
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