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I need some advice on self harm and related issues please

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I am in a terrible situation at the moment and I am really scared. My mood swings are all over the place and I am just generally a mess. I am 20 and I have been self harming for years and years and its getting worse. Im cutting more than once a day. I hate it so much, how my body looks. I keep it covered up. I have a rubbish relationship with everyone and I have been to the Drs countless times to no avail. To make matters worse my Boyfriend of almost 2 years doesnt want to see me anymore (he told me this evening and wont answer me calls). I have one friend who is male and doesnt really understand and I cant confide in him at all. I just need some people to talk to as I feel so lonely. I keep thinking about killing myself and im so worried. Have been on anti depressents many times but hate them. I dont understand where my anger and my upset is coming from. I have issues surrounding abuse from when I was younger and I find it hard to deal with. Im so angry for the things that were done to me I am a horrible bitter person. I am going to be seeing a psychtherapist but Im worried its too little too late between my boyf and I. He thinks I would be happier without him (or maybe he would be happier without me) but I need him. I dont want to need him but I do really badly. Im just really scared and lonely. I have panic attacks and im wondering if my implant is causing this to be worse? Or am I just looking for something to blame when its really me thats the problem. I cant find help ANYWHERE and im close to giving up and ending it. Im not using suicide as a threat (or self harm) but I am at breaking point. I cant live my life like this anymore. So some advice would be welcomed.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi

    Sorry to hear you are going through such a bad time, I am going through a lot of sililar things, its really hard. if the doctors havnt been helpful maybe try going to a different one, I have had different experiences with doctors, some good and some really bad so keep trying. its good you are going to see someone I hope they are helpful.
    can you talk to any family members, I know thats really hard I dont talk to my family but wish I had the guts to.
    don't give up keep fighting, you will find something that will help, do you have some hobbies which you can do to take your mind of things, or try writing or drawing as a distraction to self harm.
    if you want to talk then please feel free to send me a message, as i said i am going through very similar stuff, so can relate to it.
    take care. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hello patience

    You sound very frightened off whats going to happen to you, but what is really positive is that you recognise you need support and wish to talk to some one.

    The site is a great way of getting this support and the site has some great pages

    It sounds like you have a lot off issues going on for you and some very old ones, these will not go away and although facing your past may be very painful, you may find its something you need to do to be able to move on with your life.

    Have you thought about speaking with the Smaritans, they will listen to how you are feeling and try to explore with you how your feeling. 08457 90 90 90.

    It is difficult to open up and trust people, but it sounds like you want to be heard and want to change the course of your life.

    Good luck keep posting
    take care :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am feeling exactly the same. I hurt myself and just want to end it all now. I have friends and family but it's just not helping. I'm trying to get professional support but it's like banging my head against a brick wall.

    I don't know what to say to 'help', but it's helping me to read about other people and realise I am not alone.
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