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Am i being too harsh?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I dont know what to do about my ex.

We were together for about 3 months although it was about a year in the waiting. He lives in Stevenage and i was at uni in Cambridge so not far to go on the train. About a month ago he lost his job and i went back home to Essex for the holidays. I was prepared to go and visit him all the time cos he doesnt have a car and i do, but he broke up with me. He has no money and is having to focus on his band to get more gigs and more money and has no time to see me. Combined with the distance he said it wasnt fair on me, despite me saying i was happy with the relationship.

About a week ago, we spoke about meeting up as friends for a catch up and when i asked about where we were he said to take things slow. Heres the problem: i dont see what there is to take slow. Everything was perfect before and if the distance isnt a problem as friends then why are we only friends? I can imagine that once he gets a job and im back Cambridge in September he'll want to start things up but i'm finding this all too superficial. Things like money and distance dont matter to me and i dont think they should, its like the relationship isnt good enough unless everything is perfect and we can see each other.

Am i being too harsh here and maybe start things up again when things are better or just forget it?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dunno, why don't ask him, when you meet up? If he has other reasons he does not want to mention I guess you'll find out, and if he understands that the traveling and the money is no issue to you he might change his view on the break-up.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yea maybe, but i feel really hurt. Its like me at this distance in this situation isn't good enough and i'd like to think that we'd stay together through all the bad times as well as the good, rather than just be cast off like i'm too much hassle
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If he is to believe, he made this for you. Might be an excuse, or not very good courtesy, but I think you'll find out, if you tell him you really want to stay together with him. If he did all this for you, because you theoretically couldn't bear the distance etc then you would have an easy time and just be like, "oohh it's probably for the better. It's hard, but you might be right."

    If you show him you are upset about this and really want to continue this he will a) gladly take you back, b) not take you back, but you know there are other motives he wasn't honest about from the start.

    It's a bit fishy, this situation, but I don't want to prejudge.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    the writing is on the wall Hun, its not going anywhere!
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