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Ass|nging my sexuality
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hello. i am 25 yrs male but without a partner of either gender. I'm reaching round to the stage where I don't have a preference.
I pretty much failed the physical a few times with some girls in the past (though no complaints) and I can see relationships with a/several men to be profitable. I could be on a plane flying next week and there's been so many tears and hard dull times with girls around me.
I want my sexuality resolved because it's taking 100% all of the time, everytime.
what do you think I should do.
I pretty much failed the physical a few times with some girls in the past (though no complaints) and I can see relationships with a/several men to be profitable. I could be on a plane flying next week and there's been so many tears and hard dull times with girls around me.
I want my sexuality resolved because it's taking 100% all of the time, everytime.
what do you think I should do.
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we can't tell you what to do, its your life, sounds to me like you like a bit of both, so y not try that for a while, being bi, try dating both men and women,
thats all i can say
Thank god I don't live in New Zealand with that sort of mentality about! Any 'torture' that gays go through is because so-called straight guys can't just let live and let live. I have LOADS of straight male friends and what I do in the privacy of my bedroom has never affected their opinion of me as a human being.
Not everyone (straight/gay/bi) wants either of those things.
Personally, I wouldn't worry and you don't need a label.
As far as not wanting to live in New Zealand, man you have no clue. Wellington (my city) is absolutely swarming with gays, trannies, you name it. My attitudes are my own, though you might want to look a little harder at what I say before you start shrieking offense at me. It's very stereotypical.
PS: My best friend is gay and his gayness doesn't bother me so long as he doesn't give me intimate details about his sexploits or come on to me (he does both when he's drunk, but he's cool most of the time). I would say that being gay has pretty much ruined his life though. His family have kicked him out and he's gone from being a pampered upper class kid to a fucking dealer. It's absolutely unfair, and he didn't ask not to be attracted to women, but if he was, and had a choice he'd be a fucking retard to choose to be gay.
Oh, please. Define "normal". I have perfectly normal relationships, they just happen to be with women. And you're implying that someone who is bisexual can somehow "turn off" their homoerotic feelings and only have heteronormative relationships.
Please don't say "trannies" or "gays". Trans and gay are adjectives. "His gayness" is a part of who he is and if you take issue with him discussing that with you I'm surprised he still calls you a friend.
Yes, it is unfair that his family have kicked him out. That is their fault, not his. Most people wouldn't choose to be gay because of people like his family, and you, who give gay people a whole load of shit and think it's their place to look down on other people who are different.
In this case a normal relationship is a heterosexual relationship. Your relationships may be totally ordinary in all other respects, but the fact they are with women means they are outside the norm.
So you think someone who is attracted to both men and women can't choose to have relationships with either men or women? They are just totally ruled by their sex drives? I don't buy that.
Fuck you. If I don't want to hear about the ins and outs of anal sex then I shouldn't have to, and he has class enough not to inflict that on me. I don't mind listening to him talk about "Ed", the dude who broke his heart for hours on end, and I enjoy arguing with him about such subjects as campness and how it relates to masculinity.
The difference between gay people like you and gay people like Ahmed is one of dignity. One might say it's a question of breeding. He is an upper class Egyptian, even if he is disowned right now. If someone says something he disagrees with he argues with them, he doesn't just call them bigots and blame them for all the troubles gay people have had over the years. Basically he has the balls to address the points people make with logical arguments rather than attempting to shame or insult the person he disagrees with, appealing to people's sense of logic rather than their sense of pity. He can even stand to disagree with my politics, even in relation to some gay issues, and still be my friend. Amazing isn't it?
You don't know anything about me, all your ideas are based on stereotypes. People like me? Why don't you tell me what kind of person I am? I could use a laugh.
Yes it is their fault, but they are his family. He can't just get a new one, and he can't just change their minds because they are Muslims and that gives them a +10 bonus against ideas of sexual liberation.
This is what I've been trying to say.
Muslims? LOL too bad, they're coming.
Is that what I think? I never knew, thanks for telling me. I certainly look down on you, but your sexuality is not the reason.
To get back to the OP, and to come back to Namaste's point, you don't necessairly have to make a definitive decision, it takes time to get to know your own sexuality and it's OK to be confused. There are also a lot of myths around bisexuality which can add pressure to how you feel or how you think you should feel.
You might want to take a look at our article on exploring your sexuality too
ive known ive been bi since i was like 13
sexuality is a normel thing
no matter if ur gay leas straight whatever
Firstly, I have my dignity, thank you very much. And I have many friends I disagree with, and many who completely disapprove of who I fall in love with, but I do find it hard to relate to them and to talk to them. It feels like I'm holding back, though, it's hard to really be me when I know that - on any level - my friends disapprove of who I am, what I do, however you want to classify it.
I have nothing to stereotype, but I'm sorry if I made snap judgements based on the tone of your posts, which I found offensive.
I have no issue with any religious group. Yes, some people do use their faith to justify homophobia or prejudice, but that doesn't mean I have an issue with the faith. You make it sound as though you had made it clear your friend's family were Muslim and I based my apparent judgement on that, but I didn't know so it wasn't a factor in what I said. And what on earth does "they're coming" mean? I live in London, one of the most diverse cities in the world, do you really think I don't have Muslim friends?
I realise we won't see eye-to-eye on this, and I apologise if I seemed unpleasant in the tone of my last post but I was very offended by what you had said. I didn't mean to judge you but I would appreciate it if you would do me the same courtesy. It is unfair and childish to say that you look down on me and then expect me to have some respect for you and your opinions.