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Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi, first of all thanks for bothering to read this as it is just yet another angsty life rant. Ok I have never been very good at opening up to people so here goes. My life has never been what could be described as "Good", I spent the first 8 years of my life living in Hackney, London, and at the ripe old age of 6 1/2 watched as my best friend was hit and killed by a van, I was about a foot and a half behind him at the time. Since then I have moved house 7 times, been on and off depressed, and lived in 4 seperate counties. When my Mum (parents are split up, Im lucky to see my dad more than 4 times a year) settled down I started going to this new secondary school. I drifted from social group to social group for about the first year as I have never been very good at making friends and according to my psyco-therapist had "Locked off my emotions to prevent myself from gettng hurt again". So after a year or so I managed to find a group of people who did not make me too angry, and even made a couple of friends (w00t). But then last year one of those two friends was killed in yet another car accident and through our shared grief, or numbness on my part, me and my one remaining friend (just for the record she is a girl (young woman?)) became even closer, but the small hole in my "Emotional armor" was just large emough for me to fall in love with her (more on that HERE) so now I am (again quoting my therapist) "A severely depressed, suicidal (3 attempts, no wins), narcissistic, insomniac, emotionally stunted borderline sociopath with anger, self-harm, and alcohol problems who is hopelessly in love with his best and only real friend." And all (just) before I hit 17. There is not much point to this post other than to vent and see if anyone is in an even vaguely similar situation, though help would be much apprciated.

Thx, Tom

P.S. Sory you had to read all of that just to find out I am a lost cause.

Comments

  • C FunkC Funk Posts: 163 Two little ducks
    Hi Tom :wave:

    I’m very sorry to hear that you’re not feeling well at the moment. It sounds like you’ve had a really tough time in your life so far. The pain of losing a friend can take a long time to recover from, and it seems like this has had a big impact on you and your relationship with your friend.

    It’s great to hear that you’re getting support through this difficult period and I hope it’s helping. There are a couple of organisations that you can contact if you ever want to have a chat with someone about the death of your friend. Cruse is a charity run website and helpline that provides support for young people who’ve lost someone. There number is 0808 808 1677. They also run the website RD4U, which has lot of stories from young people in similar situations.

    Another good place to go if you’re feeling down is The Samaritans. They run a confidential telephone service that's available 24 hours a day. Their number is 08457 90 90 90. Saneline also run a similar service. Their number is 0845 767 8000.

    Although talking about what has happened won't bring your friend back, it will give you a chance to work through some of your pain, and finally come to terms with it in order to live a full and happy life again.

    Really hope you feel better soon.

    :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you for the advice and sorry i took so long to reply. I will make sure to check out some of those sites.

    Thx, Tom
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