online dating...and some more

Former Member

Ok, so i've been on a couple of sites for a few months, had a fair share of nutters, weridos and time wasters, but this latest guy seems so lovely, we get on really well, i've just spent hours talking to him on the phone and we've agreed to meet up at some point on neutral ground...

i'm making sure that i'm not gonna fall hard and fast like i have done so many times before, and we're taking it all at slow pace...

i'm just wondering what i can do to not make many of the mistakes i have made frequently before.

there are some issues with the whole thing, i live in london, and study full time, he works full time and lives in cheltenham - though we were talking about meeting up and both of us are willing to travel...

Also, i'm still recovering from a breakdown. I'm much much stronger than i was, and i wouldn't have followed this guy up if i wasn't feeling strong enough to go with it, i did tell him a little bit about it and he seemed very supportive and understanding which was good...

any tips and advice woulde be great!

Former Member

I'd say first off stop thinking of all the issues before you've first met him, otherwise you'll build him up before you meet him and that leads more to mistakes in falling hard and fast

Former Member

lives in cheltenham? that's where i'm from! :-)

Former Member

noog wrote: »

lives in cheltenham? that's where i'm from! :-)

Its not you is it?

Former Member

that could make things odd if it was you...but unless your name is joe i think your in the clear!

Former Member

Don't build things up. It's easy to build a person up from just a voice/picture and fall for that when the real person, more than likely, is totally different. Done it myself too many times to mention.

Go steady, take it easy and (from exp.) don't lay the heavy shit down too early. Baggage is good, it makes people human, but he's coming to see you and get to know you, not your past/issues/whatever.

Relax, have fun and i've just washed out the 'special draws' so if you need anything rubbery, leathery, clampy.................

Former Member

Same as everyone else really, just go with no expectations, and an open mind

Former Member

Sounds like you want to rush.. What's the rush.. It's all about going in stable so that if it goes wrong you can come out stable.

I'd say mostly people do rush in thinking they are onto something life changing, for me I'd rather go with the flow, see what happens.. I don't even think online dating is the proper way for anyone to go.. it's like rushing.. rushing to find a date.

Sure to cause trouble if it goes wrong.

Former Member

well, i'm meeting him on wednesday! i'm really looking forward to it!

Former Member

Good Luck *hugs*

Former Member

i'm kinda freaking out a bit about tomorrow, i'm really excited but i'm really worried too...

probably all very normal but still...

Former Member

Just try to go with an open mind - don't put too much pressure on it to be sucessful: youre meeting someone new, it could be the start of a beautiful friendship.....or whatever

I haven't met anyone via on-line dating though so don't take my word for it - report back after though so we know how it went

Good luck!

Former Member

it couldn't have gone better!

thanks for all the advice guys!

Former Member

No, no, no!!! more information mrs!!! You cannot just leave it at that! details :mad:

Are you going to meet again? Whats he like in real life? What did you do - coffee? dinner? snogging?!

Former Member

he's just amazing! he has the most beautiful singing voice i think i have ever heard and he utterly melts my heart...an utter romantic, incredibly chivalrous, very very cute, he sees the world in a very similar way to the way i do, incredibly cuddly, got a brilliant sense of humour...i could spend hours just staring into his eyes and cuddling him. we have this great openess about our feelings and whats going on for us, and we both kinda realised that its going pretty fast but that seems right for us right now. I things change we can slow up a bit, but it seems really really good. we have great conversations non stop...

we went for breakfast by the thames - and he gave me this bunch of fake red roses which were really sweet and tied up in ribbons - real ones wouldn't have lasted the journey, and then we went to tate modern, and then we went for lunch at wagamama, and then we went to selfridges for root beer and fluff! and then came back to mine...and thats all i'm saying!

I'm going to stay with him tomorrow night til sunday...really looking forward to it.

Former Member

Wow! That is pretty fast but I'm really glad you two have got on so well It's lovely!

Did you meet via OKCupid? I'm on there and have chatted with a few guys but I'm way too scared to actually meet anyone

Former Member

yes we did...its a pretty good site tbh...there are plenty of weirdos but the are also plenty of lovely genuine guys like my lovely joe...

Former Member

Aww

Former Member

Not to bring you back to earth with too much of a bump - but remember this from the first post in this thread?

i'm making sure that i'm not gonna fall hard and fast like i have done so many times before, and we're taking it all at slow pace...

Just take a minute to breathe, girl.

Former Member

g_angel wrote: »

Just take a minute to breathe, girl.

Agree. I don't wanna piss on your parade Trinity but i saw in a post of yours today you already call him boyfriend. Slow it down a bit.

Former Member

g_angel wrote: »

Not to bring you back to earth with too much of a bump - but remember this from the first post in this thread?



Just take a minute to breathe, girl.

Damn beat me to that one!

Fully agree. I'm glad you're happy and you like the bloke but based on the info you provided and what i've gleaned from here i'd say just slow it down a little and hold some in reserve I feel quite mean saying it as you're obviously happy but try to not throw 100% of emotion in too soon.
And so speaks the cynical realist

Former Member

Sounds like it went really well for you luby, as others have said whilst it's great to get carried away with the new-person/relationship vibes, keep in mind it's always sensible to keep one foot on the ground as well. Cheltenham is one of my favourite places in the country - actually probably my very favourite place - but that's a whole other story .

I'm chuffed for you :thumb: just don't get hurt by wearing your heart on your sleeve and all those metaphors that you've heard before no doubt good luck!