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Lifes falling apart and i dont know what to do.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello everyone. this is my first time on here but im desperatly looking for some help. my whole world is falling apart and i feel like theres nothing i can do about it. iv been with my boyfriend for six years now. i have a daughter whos not his but we have a two and a half year old boy together. for the last six months or so things have been getting bad between us. we dont talk or do anything together, he would rather be at work or doing anything else just so hes not at home with me. he loves the kids to bits but we seem to have got stuck in a rutt as they say. last thursday he finaly told me hes not happy and he doesnt know if hes with me because of the kids or not. he says he feels dead inside about everything at the mo and he doesnt want to hurt me but he just doesnt know if this is working or not. we have agreed that he will move into his mums for a while and i will stay in the house so the kids are not dissrupted through all this. iv told him i will do what ever it takes and hes agreed that while hes not living with me me will still see each other. im total heartbroken at the thought he doesnt want me anymore but he says he doesnt know how he feels so is there hope that i can rekindle our love and if so how do i go about doing it. i just dont know what i can do to save this please help me. x x

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi there,

    I'm not sure if there's much you can do. It sounds like he needs to sort some things out in his head. Would you consider seeing a relationship councillor?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i would do anyhting so yes i would if i knew where to find one. i can see why hes not sure how he feels cos iv been wondering myself but came to a decision. we have got boring and predictable and need to bring back the things that made us fall in love with each other in the first place but i really dont know how to do that x x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Did you talk a lot in your relationship? Not talking enough often causes people to drift apart.

    If you don't mind me asking, was your sex life affected?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    we stopped talking really only ever talked about every day things like what do you want for dinner etc. yes our sex life became awful, once every few weeks and it was just on off no affection. were trying to put things back but just dont know how. hes not sure how he feels but he says he still loves me. hes been very stressed for the last ten months or so as he started a new business and he says he feels the same about that. he discribes it as being dead inside about everything. x x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe he's overworked and can't handle the stress. Perhaps taking a vacation, without the kids, could be a good idea. But I really think relationship counselling should be a good step, if you're both committed to fixing things, though he might not be that willing to go.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if there is one thing i'm rather sure about: a dead love is dead. There is no such thing as rekindling.

    I'm sorry to say it, but I think it's over.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    he says he feels dead inside about everything not that our love is dead. he doesnt know how he feels about anything not just us but about work and life in general. im going to talk to him and suggest counseling, i got to try x x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He might be depressed?

    Look into Relate, they specialise in relationship counselling.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    find a good babysitter!
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