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Think Before You Speak

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Did you all know that nearly 70 percent of teens say they routinely use the phrase “That’s so gay” and other homophobic remarks in school?

A lot of people don't mean any harm when they say something is "gay" when they mean stupid, but the effects those words can have can add up.

I’m working with GLSEN's ThinkB4YouSpeak campaign and would love to have a dialogue about this issue.

So, what do you think? Can you pledge to "say something original" and take a stand against homophobic phrases?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It would help if we were an american based website, but the majority of us are brits.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    squeal wrote: »
    This thread is gay :p
    Your AV is gay :-p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hellfire wrote: »
    Your AV is gay :-p

    Deleted after thinking after I spoke :) x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Teenspeak is a language in itself- never take the words literally. Ever around teenagers, they've got a different style of English to mature adults talking
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    http://www.thinkb4youspeak.com/Videos/

    Watch the video of the bishop, it's genius - 'remember: God's listening', seriously, come on!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    squeal wrote: »
    That means Icey is gay as he made it :p
    Dude not cool :|
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Listening Ear
    Some of the responses in this thread are totally unnecessary - OK so the British thing, that's relevant and kiwifruit has a valid opinion. Everyone else is just taking the pee.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    squeal wrote: »
    Deleted after thinking after I spoke :) x
    Pfft, squeal, I got your reply but I will stop there,

    Can i pledge to stop using the word

    "thats so gay" nope, i like using it and see no harm in it, I have many Gay, lesbian bisexual friends etc and they use it, I have no moral quarms with using the words to that effect. I think people would have to be extemely sensitive to take that as an insult, considering that is a part of culture today,

    Does it also mean it is offensive to say Gay meaning happy? just because gay as a different meaning?

    many words can have different meanings or lots of words are joined to make a new word, just because it "could" refrence something else, I dont see why it'd need to be stopped.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ThinkBeforeYouSpeak.jpg
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    One - is that aimed at me?
    Two - isn't that a US serviceman on a british poster?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have a few gay friends and they generally don't like 'gay' being used as a generic derogatory term. I think at school with peers saying it and not knowing any better it was slightly more excusable, but now being educated and mature there are much better choices of vocabulary that don't make you sound like a 14-year old.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Whoever takes slight offense to someone saying somethings gay then they have issues..i know quite a few gay people and they even say things are gay (meaning stupid..obviously).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    graham well obviously they have issues they are persecuted and looked down upon in large parts of the world because of their sexuality so I think they've earned the right to be a little defensive if people are using the word gay - however innocently - to refer to something negative.

    have to say though where do you draw the line? was reading a blog about the sexism alive in today's western culture and calling someone a pussy or a cunt are sexist because you are saying women's genitals are a bad thing. one would assume it also works the other way round and calling someone a cock or dick is also implying a penis is a bad thing.

    i think its less about having definite 'this is wrong' and 'this is right' words because words are *just* words, but about having the common sense and understanding to know what words might mean to people and how they could be offensive to some people. But I reckon most people have that common sense anyway.

    For a humourous exploration of the concept you need to watch this scene from clerks ii: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2DxyAGzGxM

    It's all about managing different people's attitudes to things. I think it should be about give and take - if someone says something you shouldn't be automatically offended just because of the word. But then people should think about what they say especially if there is a reasonable expectation it could offend people.

    I don't think we should blanket ban any words though, I believe we should empower people to use and understand words and use a bit of common sense about it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hellfire wrote: »
    One - is that aimed at me?
    Two - isn't that a US serviceman on a british poster?

    One - no
    Two - yes
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thought so, damn that does my nutt in,
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Really? You're actually going out and devoting your time to this? You couldn't think of any social ill that you could combat that's more important than people getting offended by an (unintentionally) offensive use of the word gay? Dude, that's pretty gay right there. I mean I've heard of some pretty gay activist groups but this one is gayer than Prince Charles eating a garbage bag full of dicks... :p

    But seriously language changes (my nigga) and the meanings of words change over time. Gay being a derogatory term is so rooted in our everyday language that it isn't going anywhere just because it's no longer socially acceptable to discriminate against gay people. If no offense is meant then you have to address what is meant rather than the words used. That's the purpose of language after all, to convey meaning, and most of what matters in language is how something is said.

    The meaning of the word gay has changed totally before, and now it's doing so again. If I say somebody is gay I don't think there's going to be anyone who, even subconsciously, thinks I mean they're a particularly cheerful person. Eventually the old meaning will no longer exist. Queer seems to be gaining popularity, maybe that will be the new "gay".
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So Spawn of Stan, you don't believe in displaying even a modicum of sensitivity? I think we all choose our words wisely at times where we feel it might offend someone. I have no reason why this common courtesy should not extend to gay people. If some find it offensive, well, I'll see what I can do about using other words. Just so long as people appreciate words are just words and we all have slips now and then. It's about compromise.

    I don't think the attitude "the word is here and it's not going, so deal with it" will work unfortunately.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Did you not read my post at all? If someone is using the word in a way that is not intended to offend, anyone taking offense is kind of an ass. Language works to communicate meaning, and if someone chooses to take a meaning other than what was meant then they are just getting butthurt for the sake of it, either because they have an axe to grind (I do this sometimes) or because they just want attention. Everyone knows the word "gay" can now mean "homosexual" or "nonspecific negative expletive". It's all about the nonverbal cues and also the context. He/She is gay = homosexual, it is gay = shit/dumb. If there is any confusion there it must be deliberate.
    If some find it offensive, well, I'll see what I can do about using other words. Just so long as people appreciate words are just words and we all have slips now and then. It's about compromise.

    There is a name for this. It's called Political Correctness and it's creating an ever shifting tide of newspeak. If someone's a homophobe for example, it doesn't matter what they call gays. They could call them pineapple people for all the difference it makes, it would still become a slur. It's a waste of time changing words around, it doesn't change attitudes and you just end up having to change the words again when people are still getting offended.

    I don't like the terms "white boy" and "whitey", but if I am hanging around with a non-white acquaintance and they use one of these in a joking/friendly manner then I address what they were trying to say, not the words used, because the purpose of talking is to convey meaning.

    Let's stop using the word "cabbage" because it's offensive to stupid people.
    I don't think the attitude "the word is here and it's not going, so deal with it" will work unfortunately.

    It's not an attitude, it's a fact. The word is here and it's not going away so deal with it. Or don't, whatever, I'm not changing the way I speak again on the off chance someone chooses to be offended by it. I could give a fuck about people choosing to be offended, that's their right and it can be fun at times, but I refuse to involve myself in it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ah, so it's wrong to be politically correct and sensitive? That must be where I'm going wrong, showing people a bit of decency. I will remember next time I see a lady to wolf whistle and then get back in the kitchen - afterall it's her problem if she takes offense because I'm only jesting, isn't it?

    You seem to have a very narrow-minded perspective of the world in that it only matters if you find it offensive personally, you have spared no consideration for what other people might think in your posts except to say 'screw them, it's their problem'.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    Ah, so it's wrong to be politically correct and sensitive? That must be where I'm going wrong, showing people a bit of decency. I will remember next time I see a lady to wolf whistle and then get back in the kitchen - afterall it's her problem if she takes offense because I'm only jesting, isn't it?

    You seem to have a very narrow-minded perspective of the world in that it only matters if you find it offensive personally, you have spared no consideration for what other people might think in your posts except to say 'screw them, it's their problem'.

    That isn't what I'm saying at all. I could repeat myself again but what's the point? You'll just deliberately misinterpret me again so I'll just tell you to work on your reading comprehension and move on.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That isn't what I'm saying at all. I could repeat myself again but what's the point? You'll just deliberately misinterpret me again so I'll just tell you to work on your reading comprehension and move on.

    banned? :eek:
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    Banned for another thread.

    tbh I mosty agreed with him here. As long as it's clear the intent of using a word isn't to offend, people who take offense are at fault. And I think saying something like "This film was so gay, I wasted my time watching it" makes it clear there's no intent to offend gay people.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree too. Words aren't homophobic, attitudes are. Judge people on their opinions, not the words they use to express them.

    If we're going to get all pedantic about literal meanings then gay wouldn't even mean gay, just happy. So in essence, calling something gay for bad is the same as calling something bad, which i am led to believe actually means good these days.

    Know w'arm say'n?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree that people should think before they speak. I always try to avoid swearing or using offensive language, because it offends me when other people use it.

    One thing I particularly hate is when people use the word "retard". Especially when they are talking to/about me! No-one would use the word "nigger" these days, so I think words loke "retard", "mongo", "gay", "poof", etc should go the same way.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I never use the word gay (apart from when my friend-who is gay- got a pair of pink skinny fit jeans) One of my friends, and myself, started to say "thats so straight" and everyone at school was like "omg your such gays" and we were like "that is our point" it was all vvveerrryyy funny!
    C-A XX
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    KiwiFruit wrote: »
    Teenspeak is a language in itself- never take the words literally. Ever around teenagers, they've got a different style of English to mature adults talking

    I think, even though this was a very early post, kiwi has hit it right on the head, i'm a teen and yes, i say things like thats gay etc, but i don't mean them in a degroatry (i can't spell) way to homosexuals. some of my best friends are gay, lesbian and bi, i have no problems with that, its their choice and so long as they don't try and change my way of life i'm cool with that.

    Also, my point is that languages change, my examples, gay used to mean happy, the english language used to be how shakespear is written, LANGUAGES CHANGE! Its just a social trend, i don't see why people are getting so upset about something that isn't in anyway meant to offend them, i accept that sometimes things can get out of hand and cause offence but something so trivial as using the word "gay" to describe something that you didn't like is over the top.

    If this becomes politcally incorrect then i personally don't want to live in this country anymore, i can put up with the "one eyed scottish monster" and the bankers blunders because they are circumstances that i can't affect but with people becoming offended over something teenages say, then they should get a grip on themselves as the majority of teens are still immature and don't understand the power of words. Certain words that are racist can have such a profond effect that i know why they should nver been utter in todays society but others that are not meant to offend should not be allowed to have such an effect, "gay" is not a word meant to offend, it is meant to discribe one self if thats the way you swing, words like "puffda" or phrases like "fucking queers" can have that affect and i think that these are just as bad as racisism. rant over

    I'm sorry if this offends anyone but for one of the few times in my life i'm being outspoken about my believes
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