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I quit!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
So ive decided to quit self harming. I'm throwing myself in the deep end here and decided to stop straight away and not do it gradually.
i wouldnt say i do it regularly, it tends to be once the last one's started to heal then i feel i should do it again.
Today i've reached 2 weeks. :yippe: It's good but i'd be even happier if it was 3.

i dont know whether it's because im quitting this, but ive found my moods to be extremely changeable throughout each day. I normally wake up hyperactivly happy, then within a few hours ive gone to the other end of the spectrum and feeling depressed and wanting to hide away, then things pick up again and im bouncing around the room! by then end of the day im exhausted and level planing and the smallest thing can tip me back to a bd mood!
im also getting frustrated/annoyed/bad tempered really easily.

One thing thats helped me so far is at night (when im most likely to do it) to either stay late at uni/ stay out of the house, or work lots until im practically falling asleep then go to bed so im not giving myself chance to think about things.
im finding weekends hard as i have to work at home, but i do try to not stay in one room and get out of the house, even if its to go to shops.
:)

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey

    firstly i really admire you for doing what you are doing, I couldn't.
    keeping yourself busy is good, but try not to get too exhausted.
    the mood swings maybe because you are trying to stop, I tried stopping for a short while and found I was even more angry than usual, but sometimes i would be ok then crash.

    your doing really well, let us know how you are doing.:)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    re

    Hey dr_chimpenstien,:wave:

    What a great acheivement for you two weeks and counting! like imohorn18 has mentioned, try not to exhaust yourself too much with uni work into the night-may try something physical like going to the gym or for a jog in the evening, this may help?

    well done with it all anyways and keep us posted on how your doing:)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for your kind words. Things are still going well. I thought this weekend would be tough as i went out friday night and always feel down the day after, but i didnt this time.
    the urges are still creeping up behind me and slapping me in the face. The only thing thats stopping me from giving in is the thought that i'll have to go through this all again. also that im affraid that i'll do some real damage to myself.
    i wish i had a place where i could go and smash things up!! it'll help get rid of my frustration i think. i'd love to take a sledge hammer to something right now!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey ! :wave:

    Firstly, mega big congratulations! It's so hard to stop self harming, and I admire the fact YOU are strong enough to do this.

    Urges can bring you down, but there are loads of things I find help distract me- if you're feeling angry, beating up a pillow is suprisingly amusing, and a great release! I took up martial arts in the end, I find it helps calm me down.

    Take care, and stay strong!

    Jess x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i had the worst night so far last night. I was talking to a guy i like and he said that he didnt want a gf until he'd settled down in years to come. :crying: i totally broke down cos the idea that there could be something there was the one light in my darkness.
    i kind of went a lil mental on him and said how people i get close to always run off etc etc.
    This morning i woke up happy as larry. Bouncing off the walls! And my mood change wasnt too bad today although there was a lot of anger there in which people could have got slapped! im also kicking myself for not apologising to him for last night. i even had the best 2 opportunities! why do i not think of these things at the time?!

    Anywho, rant over! Im pleased with myself that i didnt harm though. But i'd never let myslef do it over a specific person....again!
    The urges got me at uni today because or the anger i think. i accidently whacked my arm into something and thought 'god that felt good!' eep!

    but im tackling each day as it comes.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    arr today is getting to me. Am becoming really aggitated.
    I need to find a way of venting my frustration without smashing things up! anyone got any tips?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Punchbag! Seriously, it really helps.
    Just beat up a pillow, let it all out! Also going for a run can help!
    You could try writing all you're icky feeling on a big piece of paper and then just ripping it to pieces-weird but it works!

    Stay Strong x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    arr today is getting to me. Am becoming really aggitated.
    I need to find a way of venting my frustration without smashing things up! anyone got any tips?

    Hey Dr Chimpenstein!

    Just to echo what everyone has said - well done for managing your self harm so well, sound's like you are very determined. This is really positive.

    If you haven't seen them - why don't you check out our pages on coping with urges and tips and distractions. Some of those ideas may help. If you are feeling agitated you could also try calling Samaritans (08457 90 90 90) or Supportline? ((020) 8554 9004) you can talk confidentially to someone about how you are feeling?

    Take care - :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think i'd love to have a punch bag!

    things are going well. it will be 3 weeks tomorrow and to celebrate am going to see ross noble live! yay
    moods are starting to settle. been a little icky for the last 2 days but today was like being my old self and some! :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hello dr_chimpenstien

    Congradulations 3 weeks :yippe: , your doing amazing, taking each day at a time,well done :thumb:

    We hope you enjoyed ross noble?

    take care :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ross Noble was amazing. i highly recommend you all see him live!!
    The night ended with me getting a boyfriend which had cheered me up ten fold!
    the thoughts of self harm have almost gone now. on sat we met a mates girl friend who had scares from sh all over her arms. it looked so horrid and it really shocked me to think that could be me. it was a real wake up call.

    thank you all for you're kind words and support. xx:)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ross Noble was amazing. i highly recommend you all see him live!!
    The night ended with me getting a boyfriend which had cheered me up ten fold!
    the thoughts of self harm have almost gone now. on sat we met a mates girl friend who had scares from sh all over her arms. it looked so horrid and it really shocked me to think that could be me. it was a real wake up call.

    thank you all for you're kind words and support. xx:)


    :thumb:

    Sound's like seeing those scars helped you to put things into perspective. Well done for doing so so well. :)

    Positivity just leaps from the page reading this. It is extremely encouraging and inspiring to read. We hope that your relationship goes well - perhaps just take it one small step at a time. Don't put yourself under too much pressure.

    Take care and keep up the good work! :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wow, well done for quitting! I find it really inspirational to know that it is possible and that somebody out there has done it and i hope that i'll one day be able to quit too :)

    Really hope the relationship goes well, have got my fingers crossed for you.
    Look after yourself and i hope everything's okay :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well done! I know how hard it can get at times. You have gave me inspiration to keep going without self harm :)

    Good luck!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hi again!

    hello one and all!!

    its been (without checking) about 6 weeks since i decided to give up self harm.
    im feeling rather bad tonight as i slipped up and did a small one on my leg. i know why i did it. To get some control back as my moods and thoughts are going awol at the mo. Also i had rather an intense weekend as my mates from home came to visit me at uni and one of them annoys me as she always says things that are not true with makes me look like an idiot. she sticks by me like a sheep and says we're best friends but its not true.
    So ive had a weekend of controlling my temper and biting my tongue!

    im not looking forward to telling the boyfriend. i feel i should and he'll see it anyway. but its only a small blip. and im thinking/ hoping it wont get me back in the habit now that im free from the stresses of uni!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Dr Chimenstien :wave:

    It sound's like you have been under a lot of pressure these past few days. What's really positive is that you are able to recognise the reasons behind why you harmed yourself.

    have you tried some of the distraction tips suggested on here for when you are feeling like you need to gain some control?

    Have you spoken to this friend of yours from home about how you feel? Sometimes relationships when you move away from home can become strained. Being honest with your partner can only be a good thing. How do you think he will react?

    Take care and keep posting :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Harry23 wrote: »
    Hey Dr Chimenstien :wave:

    It sound's like you have been under a lot of pressure these past few days. What's really positive is that you are able to recognise the reasons behind why you harmed yourself.

    have you tried some of the distraction tips suggested on here for when you are feeling like you need to gain some control?

    Have you spoken to this friend of yours from home about how you feel? Sometimes relationships when you move away from home can become strained. Being honest with your partner can only be a good thing. How do you think he will react?

    Take care and keep posting :)

    im not sure she'll be able to take it if i told her how i feel. im normally fine with her but it was just spending a lot of time with her that got to me.
    im not sure how my boyfriend will react. he'll prob be annoyed at me but i know he'll support me and understand.
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