What does this mean?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi,
I'm highly confused at the moment because of what has happened lately.
I met a guy while visiting a foreign city (he lives in London and I live in Madrid), we kissed the night we met. Then he came over to my city a few days later for work and we met up, kissed again and that's it. He went back to his country, and came back to mine again for work, a month later. We met up and ended up sleeping together (it was my first time), two nights in a row, then he was heading back to his country for Xmas. And on new year's eve he texted me, and rang me on new year's day, and ever since we were in frequent contact, chatting online. I was glad about this, as from the start he kept saying he didn't want a long distance relationship. So I was really happy we were talking a lot and that he was texting me. Then our chats turned into skype conversations, then into phone conversations. He would ring me every evening and we would talk for hours. It was fun and interesting as I was getting to know him better. And I also secretly cherished the hope that he would eventually change his mind ... So this went on for about a month and a half until he came back for work to my country. He stayed at my place for a few days. Then, he went back to his country again and we remained in contact by phone, every evening. He kept saying that he would be back and that when he would be, we would see each other. I was still hoping it would work out and that we would end up together. But, one night I didn't hear from him. I found it weird as I'd gotten used to our daily conversations. The following night he rang me and told me he'd got drunk with a friend and slept with a girl, but that it didn't mean anything. I felt like crap. I was annoyed, even though he said we weren't together, I felt betrayed and hurt. So that night I hung up. He texted me the following day saying he acted like an a****** and that he'd been very unsensitive. I forgave him. We carried talking every day on the phone. Then, a few weeks later I went abroad for work. And when I got back, I discovered he had emailed me a few times to find out how I was and how my trip was going. So I rang him to catch up. He was very curious to find out if I'd been with anybody while being abroad and I said no. He got angry because I wouldn't reply right away. This was very confusing, as for somebody who says he doesn't want a relationship with me, I would imagine he didn't care about me being with anybody else. Anyway. So we ketp talking for a month on the phone everyday, until about 2 weeks ago. I hadn't heard of him in several days, and then suddenly he rang me. We had phone sex, which was a first time for both of us. He said he missed me and wished I was over there with him. I enjoyed it to be honest, as I felt it brought us closer in a way. However, I never heard of him the following day. So I waited a couple of days, and rang him. He said he was with friends, that he would call back later. He never did. It's been 2 weeks now. We briefly spoke a few days ago, but he had to go and couldn't talk, but that he would call me the following day so we could have a proper conversation. No news since. I don't understand why he's not calling me anymore. I'm becoming paranoid that I did or said something wrong that might have pushed away. I really would like to know why he's not calling anymore, because I miss talking to him. During our last conversation he said he hadn't been in touch because he'd been drinking a lot, going out with friends and was hungover.
I feel bad right now, very sad and depressed because over the last 2 months we've been talking every day and for the past 2 weeks he hasn't been in contact. It's a horrible feeling I'm having trouble dealing with.
I would appreciate any help, advice, opinions from you, because I think I deserve better, but at the same time I don't know what I should do about this situation. Maybe somebody here has been in a similar position, what would you do?
Many thanks for helping me out.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    From what I've read (I could be wrong) but it could be possible that he was just using you for chats when he was bored/sex/somewhere to stay when he's over in Madrid.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe he was getting feelings for you and backed off so that he wouldn't get hurt? As he doesnt want a long distance relationship.

    Or maybe he met someone else closer to home?

    Can you not email him and just ask what's going on?
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,011 I eat threads for breakfast
    lea_uk wrote: »
    From what I've read (I could be wrong) but it could be possible that he was just using you for chats when he was bored/sex/somewhere to stay when he's over in Madrid.

    I don't agree.

    That's an awful lot of effort on his part if he was just using her. I think he genuinely likes you but long distance relationships are are pretty tough to keep going - especially if they're based on a few night here and there.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Once I read lipsy's post and thought maybe I was wrong.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hi everyone and thanks for your replies. I slept on it last night after I posted on here, and decided today to try not to think about it too much. I'm going to wait another day or 2 and if I haven't heard of him by then, I'll call him. After all, he used to call me anytime (sometimes really late like 2 am, sometimes in the afternoon around 5pm) so I'll call him in a couple of days to see what's what. Again, thank you so much for reading and replying. I'll keep you posted on what happens or not.
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