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nothing's working.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hey everyone, hope youre all okay.

basically, ive tried commiting suicide a few times lately and all attempts have failed.
i just cant take it all anymore.
i feel like ive lost my closest friend, one of the few things i was holding on for.
i feel like my other friends dont need me.
i feel like i can do nothing right, even my hobbies.
i feel like i cant help anyone like i used to.

im just sitting, willing the days away.
ive tried distracting myself- jogging, drawing, listening to music, reading etc etc but its just not working, i just get those thoughts back again. Self harming doesnt take the pain/thoughts away like it used to.

i just dont know how much longer i can take this.
i dont want to commit suicide, but sometimes it just feels like thats the only way out. I know how much it'd upset my family, it's just so hard right now.
i cant talk face to face / over the phone about this, which is why i guess these forums are a good idea.
ive been put on the waiting list for councilling, so i cant talk to a councillor.
i'm just scared of myself right now.


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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't forget, you can email the samaritans at jo@samaritans.org even if you can't face phoning them on 08457 90 90 90
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Magpie :)

    Sound's like things are difficult for you at the moment.

    It's positive to hear that you don't want to commit suicide. Try to focus on the reasons you mentioned when you get urges. It's also positive that you are lined up to see a counsellor, in time. It's also great that you use The Site and the support here - that is exactly why we are here.

    You may also want to check out our pages on feeling suicidal, and dealing with self-harm urges.

    Even though it may not seem like it, the things you are doing to distract you at the moment are working - they are taking your mind off harming yourself - even if it is only for a short time. Keep doing these things and perhaps you will find that you distract yourself for longer periods?

    As big gay also said you can contact the samaritans by email rather than phone. You may also want to have a look at the Mood Gym website - it's on online Cognitive Beahviour Therapy site. Some people find it helps.

    Take care and keep posting :)
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