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Trauma of Miscarriages, Please Help.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi all. Thanks for all the support on the other thread.:) It's really appreciated. My family & friends have been really supportive, but the reality is that I'm not doing so well. My first misc was last December at 7.5 weeks. this one was last week, was nearly 10 weeks. The first I dealt with fairly well, as my doc didn't think it was viable, whereas this one they thought it was viable- even though I'd had the bleeding, it had stopped & the heartbeat continued after the bleeding stopped. I'm now terrified I'll keep miscarrying & even though they are doing tests, they normally come back with no definite results. I'm so scared. I can't think of a life without children. I'll be 35 in Dec. I don't smoke, but my husband does, although I didn't let him smoke around me with either pregnancy. Has anyone been through something like this? And had a happy ending? We've no children...I was so looking forward to this. I see my friends & relations (some of whom smoked:mad: )& they sailed through their pregnancies, & I feel like the one thing I was really looking forward to, has been taken away from me. Please any advice.....:(

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :(
    I think all you can do is try again.
    You can get pregnant but the chances are youve just been unlucky. Your age may be a factor but youve got a good chance of being able to carry a pregnancy through.

    Wishing you lots of luck and some hugs
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I read in a paper (perhaps the Times) that even after three miscarriages, women have then gone on to have healthy pregnancies.

    I know it's the easiest thing in the world to say, but your body will really thank you if you make attempts to reduce worrying and feeling terrified you won't have a baby. The mind and body are so closely linked, and there's a lot to be said for a positive mental attitude.
    Just think, you will have a baby, you will, one way or another, even if it's not the way you first imagined. Perhaps 35 is old in society's eyes to be conceiving, but others manage it when they're 40! Also technology has advanced so much with IVF etc... I'm not up on the technological aspect but there's definitely hope for having a baby.
    I'm sure it's disheartening when you see all your friends happily having kids, as well as other women who get pregnant by accident, and there you are trying your hardest. But maybe if you just relax, it will come more easily to you.

    Sorry, I know it's easy for outsiders to say "just be positive", especially when they haven't experienced what you have themselves, but I definitely know that the mind and body are ver much linked; worrying won't be helping your body to get and stay pregnant. Have you tried yoga? That really helps to calm your mind and balance your body. A family friend said each time they practised yoga, they fell pregnant, so maybe it's worth a try :) All the best x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know lots of people who have had misscarriages and went onto have healthy pregnancies. That of course, won't make you automatically feel better, but it can happen. No one can say for sure if or when that will be, but the only thing you can do is allow yourself to heal and think about the future when you're ready.

    You've really had a hard time of it lately, try not to be too hard on yourself. Hope it all works out for you :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the messages of support. well I don't seem to have any problem getting pregnant, it's staying pregnant is the thing. We have to wait now to have some tests done, to see if there's a little problem causing them. I suppose if I had kids already I'd feel more reassured but 2 losses with no kids, it's just hard.
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