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take, take, take?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey there guys,

I saw a lot of post about different styles of sex and it reminded me of a kinda problem I have at the moment.

Okay, so I've been with this guy for almost 2 years now.
The first time we had sex, wasn't romantic but it wasn't "god I wanna cum" in you kind of sex. He kept saying stuff like "Oh your so beautiful" and didn't pound the hell out of me.

My problem is now, all he wants to do is go hard and go fast, in as many positions as possible etc, and doing stuff like cumming on my face and titwankng. He also dirty talks etc.

I'm not saying I don't like this stuff.. its just wow? When we're not having sex he's sweet etc, but of course mentions sex and occasionally steps back into his other personality.

I want something more, romantic? a connection I wanna feel like this isn't just for him :S

I've mentioned it like, "oh you only ever wanna go fast" and oh yeah you treat me like a sex toy as a joke.. and he just chooses to ignore it.

People have mentioned before about going on top to control it, but I cant I go on top and he forces me to go fast and stuff. -_-

I end up saying fuck it and please him, that's all I ever do please him I don't think about any of my needs to feel special and loved.. I guess I watch too many romantic movies and thing that love and relationships would be like that.

It's really getting to me, I just feel like I'm his porn star, I do and say everything he wants and that he see's in porn for example he told me to spit on his cock.

I feel like a toy pretty much.
I don't concentrate on the sex, but just how low I feel.

I wish he'd make the effort for me, I mean I've hinted enough, but like I don't want to tell him what to do.

oh and I mentioned that our 2 year anniversary was coming up and I'm taking him to this posh hotel for the weekend, was gonna take him to dinner and do something romantic, but he mentioned me wearing some kinky lingerie, and all i said was great so something romantic gets turned into porn again -_-

What should I do?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you sat down and had a serious talk about this?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lea_uk wrote: »
    Have you sat down and had a serious talk about this?

    My thoughts exactly.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm talking to him about this now, online.

    He keeps saying I'm over thinking it.

    -_-

    Gah I dunno what to do :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you need to have a talk about it him face to face so he can see how much you don't like it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Problem is, I cant stick to my guns.

    I cant help but blame myself, and then just accept it, and then nothing will change.

    To me all I should be doing is pleasing him so if thats what he wants, then fine, I never put myself first.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sometimes you have to put yourself first.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I end up saying fuck it and please him, that's all I ever do please him I don't think about any of my needs to feel special and loved.. I guess I watch too many romantic movies and thing that love and relationships would be like that.

    Love and relationships ARE like that. At least, they can be. Don't ever settle for something that makes you unhappy because you think what you really want is unrealistic, because there is nothing unrealistic about someone who loves you and respects you and listens to your point of view.

    He doesn't sound like a bad guy, he's just getting a bit carried away. And you are letting him. He wants filth, you want romance, but at the end of the day, it's all still sex, so if he refuses your warm and fuzzy round the edges sex, I think it's him with the problem.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    all i can suggest is maybe withholding sex until he listens to what you want a bit more and makes more of an effort for you to enjoy it too
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You have to let him know you wanna 'make love' and not just have sex, if he dosent undersand the term, explain it to him in detail!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    all i can suggest is maybe withholding sex until he listens to what you want a bit more and makes more of an effort for you to enjoy it too

    Yep shut shop on him - he'll hate it and might be more willing to listen to you view without claiming your 'over thinking' it. :lol: Its bit like him saying you don't really know what you like!! :yeees:

    Out of interest....why leave it so long to try and change him? Guys get set in their way with sex. I remember an old gf saying to me "make love to me", it made me go slow and stuff. Have you used that line before? :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ^^ see, evidence :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Buy some handcuffs.
    Restrain him, get on top, and show him exactly how you want it :P

    Or with-hold sex. But I'm thinking slightly differently ;)


    It's pretty shite that he won't listen to you and try things the way you'd like them. I'm all for a bit of no-holds barred fucking, but not all the time.
    Too many guys don't listen to women, and I just don't get it. The rewards of giving someone exactly what they want are far greater than just simply getting your rocks off and falling asleep afterwards :rolleyes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd say you both watch far too much pornography and you should both think about cutting that out of your relationship. You're hung up on looking like a pornstar, he's wanting to bang you like a pornstar, it's really not healthy at all.

    If he won't have sex with you the way you want, at least sometimes, then don't have sex with him.

    I think someone needs to sit him down gently and tell him that giving oral sex is fun, that taking it slowly is fun, and that unless the woman is begging to be fucked you haven't had enough foreplay.
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