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stripper/lap dancing clubs
BillieTheBot
Posts: 8,721 Bot
how do people feel about these?
i have no problem with my boyfriend going to one with his mates as a laugh. he went to one last night with his mates as he was on a stag do.
however, i would have a problem if he had a private dance.
some of his mates last night who have girlfriends had some private dances. i couldn't help but say to my boyfriend that i think this is out of order.
my boyfriend said to me "its just like porn" and his mates have done nothing wrong.
im just wondering, am i being unreasonable here by not wanting my boyfriend to have private dances? i wouldn't mind if it was his stag do or something but if it was any other time, i'd be devastated. i would honestly consider it cheating.
my boyfriend has said my opinion is a bit silly. is it?
i dunno. i would just feel gutted if my boyfriend paid for another woman to dance all over him to turn him on. he'd be paying for another woman to sexually arouse him and i just couldn't deal with that. im not 100% with my body and if he did have a private dance, i would have to leave him as i wouldn't feel good enough. my confidence would be shattered and as my previous relationships have taught me, once thats gone, its hard to get back with someone.
or am i am a craazzzyyy laddeee? lol
i have no problem with my boyfriend going to one with his mates as a laugh. he went to one last night with his mates as he was on a stag do.
however, i would have a problem if he had a private dance.
some of his mates last night who have girlfriends had some private dances. i couldn't help but say to my boyfriend that i think this is out of order.
my boyfriend said to me "its just like porn" and his mates have done nothing wrong.
im just wondering, am i being unreasonable here by not wanting my boyfriend to have private dances? i wouldn't mind if it was his stag do or something but if it was any other time, i'd be devastated. i would honestly consider it cheating.
my boyfriend has said my opinion is a bit silly. is it?
i dunno. i would just feel gutted if my boyfriend paid for another woman to dance all over him to turn him on. he'd be paying for another woman to sexually arouse him and i just couldn't deal with that. im not 100% with my body and if he did have a private dance, i would have to leave him as i wouldn't feel good enough. my confidence would be shattered and as my previous relationships have taught me, once thats gone, its hard to get back with someone.
or am i am a craazzzyyy laddeee? lol
Beep boop. I'm a bot.
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Comments
Ok, maybe a stag do is slightly different and i probably would allow it then but any other time I wouldnt be happy about it, even if he just went to watch and not get a dance.
I think its different to porn cos its much more personal and the girl is right there, meaning that he could possibly get to have a grope. Plus if its in your local town, he might be going there to see one girl in particular.
You're not cray, dont worry, and i think he should respect your wishes if you dont want him to get a lapdance. Would he be ok with it if you went to a stripclub and have a dance with a male stripper?
well, i asked him that and he didn't reply. says it all really
i wouldn't mind it if it was HIS stag do. all stag's have a private dance. i would be being completely unreasonable if i stopped him having one on his stag night. im just wondering whether im being unreasonable not wanting him to have one any other time
it makes me feel slightly possessive and i dont like that.
What he said
TBH if my bf went to a strip club then I wouldn't be bothered. It was like when I went to a part and we had naked waiters he wasn't fussed as it was just a laugh and a chance to have a bit of a perve at the naked waiters. The same at a strip club, it's a laugh and for a bit of a look at the girls.
A private dance I don't see as cheating as I am pretty sure that most clubs have a no touch policy and really it's all part of the night and I'm guessing what most people do when they go to places like that. I guess I would be a bit annoyed if he had payed for it himself...a little jelous perhaps. But if someone else had payed for him to have it and talked him into it then fair enough. I wouldn't see it as a major thing if it was something his mates did as a one off night out like a stag do or for someones birthday. What would really bother me would be if it became a regular occurance like a couple of times a month
oh, i dont have a problem him actually going to the clubs with his friends. my problem lies with the private dances. if he PAID for someone else to dance all over him out of his own pocket, i'd be gutted.
i dunno, its just, if he paid for it out of his own pocket, i'd be thinking, well, whats wrong with me? he has me for free at home. yes, its a no-touch policy but they are so close to you. its not like porn really. its real life.
Pretty much what IWS said, I wouldn't have a problem with it personally, although he's only ever been once since we've been together, I think I'd prefer it if he spent money on tickets to a fetish night or watching a burlesque performance - something that could be done together at least.
If I said I wasn't comfortable with him doing something like that, I'd at least hope he'd think on it, rather than making me feel stupid or a prude for asking. I don't think it's an unreasonable request, especially given how you have compromised on past things.
yes and i respected his wishes. i didn't even go out in fancy dress that night because of him yet i had done for my previous 3 birthdays. he never said i couldn't go out in fancy dress but he told me he wouldn't be happy with it. that was enough for me to not do it as i really respect his feelings.
i dunno, i *know* he won't get a private dance. i trust him on that. its the fact he thinks its ok that bothers me.
yeah but private dances aren't in front of your mates. its a bit more personal.
I've only ever been to a strip club once, but there the private dances were only private in the sense that it was one person having it, the rest of the group could still watch and laugh at it.
i thought you were taken out back or something for the private dances?
isn't that how most of them work?
if that was the case, i wouldn't be bothered about a private dance at all.
It all depends on the club I think...I remember watching a programme about strip clubs and some had little booths with curtains (that didn't hide much) and some were just in a back room with other people having private dances at the same time
As I say I can only judge on the strength of 1 club, but in that case there were no seperate rooms.
Depends on the club. Friend of mine was at a club in London and went for a private dance. The dancer stuck her nipple in his mouth and told him how much it would cost for sex.
That probably marks the seedier end of the spectrum.
Its you who hes coming home to.
Do you remember the name ?
All I'm saying is that it's a club with a type of refreshing sweet in the title.
Say no more.
Peppermint Hippo isnt it?
We don't see it as cheating, it doesn't mean we fancy you less (not that i fancy you
It's just totally about a laugh for men.
I've been to a strip club once and, no word of a lie, they were all dog rough. So much so it was nearly throwing up time :yuck:
I'd let your boyfriend have a private dance if he wants one, just make sure you are the one to give it to him:D
Maybe it's the Yorkshireman in me coming out, but what would bother me is him paying for something he can get for free at home.
Why is he paying £25 to look at some naked girls when he has a girlfriend at home only too happy to be naked with him?
Same reason I watch porn and my partner doesn't mind. Like it or not, most people do look after a certain amount of time with the same partner. And I know she does - she's always saying which celebrities she fancies etc. There's a big difference between looking and touching though.
Aye, my lass is a dancer, and many of her mates are stunning. The chap that went into the place that made him throw up was either very unlucky, or talking bollocks.
I've been with my wife for eight years, so don't lecture on that
I don't think there's too much wrong with just looking, in moderation, but I don't consider forking out £30 for a naked girl to waggle her muff in your face for ten minutes to be 'just looking'.
Getting a private dance - Big no-no.
I know men get turned off by visual things more then women but if he wants a private dance he should be getting it from you.