Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

HELP very inexperienced

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi there im a 30 year old virgin !! Yes I know it's not normal but im dieing for help

I have recently met up with a girl that i used to know and we are getting on so well everything is perfect but the next step I am so scared of

I dont know the ins and outs of her sex life but you can just tell, she has had boyfriends and lived with them so its pretty obvious, what I'm trying to say shes not a tramp but shes no virgin !

This is eating me inside here I am happy as can be but just know that when the time comes I'm gonna fall to bits How can I please her if im soooo much more inexperienced than her

I feel awkward and just generaly so upset by everything

i doubt it but has anyone any simular situation or any advice, would be really appreciated

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe tell her? Its really not a big deal and she'll probably think it quite a good thing, as she'll get to teach you exactly what she likes
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    icey wrote: »
    Maybe tell her? Its really not a big deal and she'll probably think it quite a good thing, as she'll get to teach you exactly what she likes

    Thanks for your reply

    Do you really think it's not a big deal, I always thought that women want the man to lead the way and be in charge kind of thing, telling her might be a turn off

    thinking about it though telling her would make things so much easier as everything would be out in the open then =D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    brian30 wrote: »
    Thanks for your reply

    Do you really think it's not a big deal, I always thought that women want the man to lead the way and be in charge kind of thing, telling her might be a turn off

    thinking about it though telling her would make things so much easier as everything would be out in the open then =D

    It sounds like a good plan to me :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Brian, she is no doubt going to find out anyway so just be upfront about it. If she is worth anything, she will be be understanding and help you through it. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Definately tell her. If she has a problem with it then she is not the right person. I have just found out my new partner is a virgin (and older than you) and it truly doesn't bother me - but i do wish he had told me before we tried (and failed) to have sex for the first time (hence my reason for joining this site to post and ask for help)!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you both for your advice =]
    Had the most amazing day with her yesterday we went for a long walk, then went to her house and just kissed and held each other was perfect

    Still haven't told her but it seems to be the best way to go

    It's the embarasment for me i think thats the worst thing i dont know how she will react but we've known each other from the past and have met again recently she says that i make her so happy and that she cant believe were together which makes me so happy It's just this one hurdle that once over I'm going to be the happiest I've ever been in my life
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ohhh just do it now as soon as you can - that way you will get over it and wont' spend too long agonising over it - tbh i don't think it will be that big a deal to her - unless you've lied and said that you've slept with loads of girls in which case it might cause some problems but even those would be forgivable
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wyetry wrote: »
    ohhh just do it now as soon as you can - that way you will get over it and wont' spend too long agonising over it - tbh i don't think it will be that big a deal to her - unless you've lied and said that you've slept with loads of girls in which case it might cause some problems but even those would be forgivable

    hello Wyetry thanks for your advice =]

    I think you're so right me thinking about it on and off all day isn't going to help
    I'm just a bit of a worryer all so quite shy (even though i hide that quite well) so the odds are against me !!

    I feel like once this is sorted not only will I be soooooo happy I'll also be able to face anything this whole thing is quite surreal
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    the best thing is to keep your cool and be yourself and stand to the fact that you are a virgin.

    Don't panic. You are on a rollercoaster and you don't want to be one of those annoying girls who scream when it's going down. If it comes down to it, tell her what's going on. Don't play motherfucking humphrey bogart and cream your pants on first touch and don't sit in a corner and cry out of shame for being a virgin. Just treat it as if she wants you to drive her car but you have to admit you don't have a driving license, a simple but dry fact.
Sign In or Register to comment.