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Any suggestions?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
I've gotten into a bit of a bad situation..
I got to know one of my friends friend, let's call him X...and well..basically we ended up sleeping together, twice. Now he's engaged, but his relationship's falling apart and has been doing so for a while now...but now I've totally fallen for him, and he likes me too...but i don't know if he's ever going to end his relationship or even if i would stand a chance as he's hard to read :confused: please help, do i forget about him or keep persuing it? We're all only around 18 so it's nothing too serious..

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Personally, I'd forget it, let him deal with his relationship whether it continues to fall apart (if that's actually the case) or picks up. At 18, you have plenty of opportunities to date people, if it's not that serious to you, then it's not worth getting caught up in.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You walk away. If his relationship breaks down and you meet up afterwards then great, but I think this guy is taking you for a ride. Literallu.

    You're the bit on the side. If you open your legs and let him in you'll never be anything but the bit on the side. He won't commit to you if he's getting the sex for free. You're too young to be a bit on the side, waiting around for something that's never going to happen.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    but he does sometimes talk about what we'd be like together...and how much he cares about me, that its up to me what we do if anything. He even said he'd choose me...and i can tell their relationship is going to end sooner or later, everyone thinks so.. should i talk to him about it, or just leave it completely?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Whenever I've dated people, I've gone with what their actions say, rather than their words - it's a lot easier to say stuff rather than actually do it. He's saying all this stuff, but he hasn't left her, and is essentially leaving the ball in your court.

    If their relationship is going to end sooner rather than later anyway, let nature take its course, knowing that he's leaving her to be with you, rather than being part of the breakup. When it comes to the crunch, even if everyone else thinks their relationship sucks, it's between them to sort out.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You don't do anything with him until he dumps his girlfriend. If he dumps his girlfriend and you get together when he's single, then that's OK.

    At the moment, you're just the bit on the side. He can talk all he wants about how much he cares about you, but the simple fact is that he's getting the sex without the commitment. Why would he commit if he's getting what he wants for free?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well we only did it twice and that was fairly close to the beginning of it all, it's been a few weeks since and we've still kissed and flirted, but mostly just been there to talk to each other. so i don't think it's all about the 'free sex'? :confused:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He can talk all he wants, but until he leaves her for you then he's all mouth and no trousers. Actions speak louder than words.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can only echo what's been said by everyone else.

    If he would choose you, then why is he still with his partner? Sounds like he's chosen her.

    Leave it and find someone worth your time and attention :thumb:
  • **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Stolen from another thread about a similar situation.
    Olive wrote: »
    The only thing you can do is tell him you like him, but you're not prepared for anything to happen if he is attached. Then you wait.

    If he leaves his girlfriend, game on.

    If he doesn't, game over.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    update...i accidently slipped to him that his girlfriend's cheated aswell, and he left in a bad mood...should i leave him to it or talk to him?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Accidentally? :lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    oh yes trust me, he wouldn't drop it...i know how it'd look so i certainly didnt wanna be the one to tell him :banghead:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dunno if this has been said or not.

    How can you trust him, even if he does leave her for you, and surely don't you have some bad thoughts towards his girlfriend, I'm not saying ooo your horrible, but this guy, he slept with you whilst in a monogomaus relationship.. people can change but somehow dont you feel a bit peev'ed that he didn't break it off, then get with you?

    I dunno I know we all get caught up in lust etc, but I would leave it be until he breaks up with her and then get him to gain your trust etc. if he's worth it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Accidentally my arse.

    If you don't want to take our advice then don't, but don't come bawling your eyes out here in two months when he's used you as a fuck buddy and then dumped you the second he finds someone else.
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