Home Home, Law & Money
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

rant about not moving out

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Just thought i'd have a wee rant.

After months and months of talking about moving out of my parents' house i finally arranged a flat viewing with my friend. We loved it and expressed interest, promising to arrange a second viewing with our guarantors (parents).

When i told my parents this, it was then that they decided to tell me that moving out was impractical and they couldn't afford it, and it was not the right time.

Thing is, i understand that we arent too well off, but couldn't they have told me this sooner, instead of letting me waste my time looking for flats and getting my hopes up? I feel so disappointed.

I am ready to spread my wings, try to make it on my own and be independant (as independent as i can be, needing help with rent-paying :P) The thought of getting in the weekly shop, cooking my meals in my kitchen and generally getting a bit of peace really excites me.

I'm not getting as many shifts as i used to at work and my income has dropped dramatically compared to a few months ago. I suppose with summer approaching and my college course ending there is the oppertunity of extra hours but this isn't guaranteed, and there aren't many vacancies elsewhere.

I'm not sure whats on the cards for next year, whether its another course, uni, or full time work, but i can't stand living here over the summer...its so stifling. :(

By the way, the place i want to move to is where my college and possible uni is, an hours drive away from here. I have moved out before when i was at another uni, in student accomodation, but dropped out and moved back home.

I know i have no good reason to move out, it's just hard falling in love with the idea and then having it trampled on. I appreciate all my parents do for me but ...I just really don't want to live with them and my brother any more!

Now i have to tell my friend and call the estate agent, let them know it won't be happening :(
Thanks for letting me vent.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's really crappy, why can't your parents let you move out?

    Although word of caution, if it was me personally, I would wait until I landed myself on the course or uni or work and had the funding and then I would look at accomodation options... nothing worse than finding a place you love but then not being able to afford to live there 3 months down the line :/

    That's just if it was me tho. Shitty situation to be in, hope it resolves itself soon and you can 'spread your wings' so to speak :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you can't afford to pay the rent on your own then you're hardly ready to 'spread your wings' yet.

    Your parents really have no obligation to pay your rent when it's a lot cheaper for you to stay under their roof. I personally only know one person who had her rent and all costs of living abroad covered by her parents who were really rich.

    Sure it's an exciting thought to stand on your own but if you cannot afford it it's something that can turn into a very nasty experience.

    Perhaps a better move is to try to sort out what you will be doing next year and go from there.
  • **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Hey pearyclaire,
    Shyboy and Jaloux both make sound points in terms of funding and independence - leaving without the financial back-up isn't likely to lead to sustainable independence and if you leave with a full time job or because you're going to uni and have a loan then it's likely to be 100% more satisfying.

    It's not unusual to feel stifled at home, but have you looked into options for over the summer that could mean you get out of the house? Residential volunteering or schemes like Camp America might be worth looking into?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    That's really crappy, why can't your parents let you move out?

    Because they will be paying the rent...!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, i know, i wouldn't REALLY be independant if i was still relying on my parents paying my rent.

    I realise they are right, it isn't necessary for me to move out yet. It's just crappy. At least writing all that down made me feel a little better.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    At least writing all that down made me feel a little better.

    Good stuff :)

    I think it's a very common feeling when you grow out of your teens and start making decisions like whether to work or study, I have felt it myself. I get along with my parents and I'm welcome to stay at home but there's something so intriguing about having a home of my own! Doing the shopping, decorating, buying furniture and even paying all the bills. I've now sort of moved out and it's well worth it after all the wait but it's also challenging in many ways. What I always find the hardest is learning to live with somebody else than my parents. Right now I'm waiting for my bloke to come home to discuss why the apartment has been turned upside down while I was absent over the weekend. Not for the first time. :banghead:

    I think Helen has some interesting suggestions. If you have some option this summer to go do something elsewhere where accomodation is provided it could be a great learning experience and get you out of your home for a bit. Then in the fall you may have some other options depending on what you do!

    Good luck :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That sounds like fun but unfortunately my job ties me down locally :(
    I am hoping to get some extra hours over the summer though.

    It's interesting what you say about learning to live with people other than your parents. I reckon i need to put more thought into that...my potential flatmate isn't the most organised or reliable of people...

    Thanks for the advice guys :)
  • SkiveSkive Posts: 15,283 Skive's The Limit
    My mother died a few years ago and my old man gave up his well paid job abroad to come home and look after her. It means he hasn't got half the income he had. It means financially I need to stay whilst he lives here.

    It sucks but now is not really a good time for him to sell up - unless he puts all the money back in to property which he doesn't want to do. It means I'm fucking stuck paying the majority of the bills and still without my own place at 27. Pisses me off but that's the way it is.
    Weekender Offender 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im sorry but if your not paying your own rent then you have no right to moan about not moving out, jesus your annoyed they didnt tell you sooner, well maybe they just worked there finances out and realised it would be to tight,

    tbh unless you can support yourself why should they let you move out? tell ya what earn and pay your own rent, you want the freedom you need to earn it.

    why should they pay your keep?

    i really bugs me that loads of people now adays expect there parents to pay there bills.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    g_angel wrote: »
    Because they will be paying the rent...!!

    Oh right, I misread it as if she moved out her parents wouldn't be able to afford THEIR house, like if she was paying board or something.
  • SkiveSkive Posts: 15,283 Skive's The Limit
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    Oh right, I misread it as if she moved out her parents wouldn't be able to afford THEIR house, like if she was paying board or something.

    That's what I thought it was as aswell. That's the situation I'm in - bringing more cash into the houshold than my old man.
    Weekender Offender 
  • **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Hellfire wrote: »
    im sorry but if your not paying your own rent then you have no right to moan about not moving out, jesus your annoyed they didnt tell you sooner, well maybe they just worked there finances out and realised it would be to tight,

    tbh unless you can support yourself why should they let you move out? tell ya what earn and pay your own rent, you want the freedom you need to earn it.

    why should they pay your keep?

    i really bugs me that loads of people now adays expect there parents to pay there bills.

    If you read the whole thread then you'll see that the OP accepts her situation and just wanted to get things off her chest - I think most of us, as Jaloux says, can see that living at home can be tough at times and your response doesn't take into account her other posts.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks, Helen :)
Sign In or Register to comment.