Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options

Just a chat

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello.
My boyfriend and I split up today. His reasons: 'I think we have grown apart.'
This was news to me. I thought that everything had been going really well recently and I had never felt happier with him.

i just really needed to get this horrible, sick, empty feeling off my chest. I feel like everything in my bloody life is completely fucked up at the moment. This was the last thing I needed. He said it wasn't fair on me because he felt like he always upset me...this is upsetting me more than anything. He was the first person that I ever felt that I truly loved and now all of a sudden I have to try and pretend that I don't love him anymore. He said that he still loves me but he doesn't think it's fair that we stay together.

I really don't know what to do. I still love him and I can't do anything about it. How the hell can I be friends with him after this?? I can't just pretend that I'm happy with just being friends because this is really killing me.

Kazooz xx

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You need to sit down and talk to him. you need to tell him how you REALLY feel.

    i went through this with my ex, i loved her so much then she just ended it. tell him how you feel

    He said that he still loves me

    maybe he just doesnt realise you love him so much, and if he does still love you, you can sort things out.

    hope it helps

    Dai
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dai is right if he still loves you then he shud be ready to listen to wat u gotta say and at least think about how you feel. The result shud be mutal feelings about eachother.
    We seem to hear this often on relationship boards everyday how one partner breaks up bcoz they don't think its workin out... main problem i think is bcoz one is feelin insecure that one is not bein there for theother enuff or one partner jus doesn't love the other for reasons of his/ her own. Just talk to him and i hope u sort it out.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    We seem to hear this often on relationship boards everyday...

    Too bloody right we do DP m8, I think sometimes the only compassionate ppl left in this world are on this board.

    Righ that does it, everyone round to mine for a barbeque and a piss up, and a little bit of match making amonst the like minded souls. (baggsy I get DP first!!! :D)



    Kazooz - I don't know how u and ur guy where together but "we've grown apart" and "I don't want to upset you" are the oldest 2 in the book, maybe he doesn't love you but cares enough not to string you along, is it a possibility?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what i would say is to have some time with your friends and stay away from him for a bit. Being friends sometimes work but i really doubt it coz it will be greatly hard for you, i know i was dumped in the same way and it hurt like hell!!!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think that you need to spend some time apart.
    You don't need to pretend you don't love him anymore. It's fairly obvious you will still be in love with him as you have only just split up and it will take a while for you to get over it. It takes time which is a pain in the ass but gradually you will be okay. The feelings eventually begin to fade. Trust me.

    You say your life is fucked up at the moment, well, that, to me, suggests you have other things you need to think about sorting as well and that confiding in a close friend or relative may help.

    His saying that he still loves you may be a way to soften the blow or to make it seem as though he still cares. Admittedly this is a crap tactic to use but it always seems as though it will cause the person on the receiving end less pain. (I admit I have used it but it seemed like it would be less hurtful for them at the time).

    Just give yourself time. It is okay to still love him and you don’t have to deny your feelings.
    Talking to him may help you to understand his reasons better and may be helpful for you.

    I’m not sure if this is the best advice but it’s the only advice I can think to give and I hope it helps. There is no quick solution really. Like most things it all takes time.

    Hope you feel okay and if you want to talk about it then I’m always around. I’ll try and be useful. :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Whooa! yeh i'm up for a barbeque SD "fry the piggy!!!!" So wen's this barbeque eh? eh? eh? can't wait to get my paws on u :p
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hello again.

    Thankyou everyone. It still really hurts but a lot of your advice has helped settle me down. We did talk things through the day that we broke up, but I don't think things will be going back to the way they were.
    I saw him today for the first time since we split, I didn't really know how to act and kept my head low for most of the day. Like you all say it's going to take time, I don't want to be his enemy but I just need time to try and be his friend.
    Thanks again.

    Love Kazooz. xxx

    P.S: Is the BBQ and piss up still on? I could really do with it!
Sign In or Register to comment.