Guys: How often do women show interest in you?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi

How often do women show interest / even seem to notice you exist?

And by the above i'm really talking women who pass you in the street. For me its practically never, and i'm considered a decent looking bloke. Sadly though i don't have the confidence to just walk up and start a conversation with someone who has completely blanked me.

I don't get it, why do women show absolutely no interest, then moan about not being able to find a bloke?. I've just been reading a thread by an older woman asking why guys don't wink as they walk past anymore. I replied with what's the point winking when the womans going out of her way to avoid eye contact and the wink wouldn't be seen anyway !!

Andy
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know what you mean dude, woman are a curious species.

    Unfortuantly Im cursed with a baby face so I always look as if im punching above my age limit when I give the eye. Conversely if I ever get the eye back its always from someone much younger then me lol.

    I'll tell you what annoys me too is if you hold a door open or pick something up a lass she has dropped and you get an evil look as if your doing it to get in there knickers.

    The fact of the matter is there are still Gents around.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Stu lil wrote: »

    I'll tell you what annoys me too is if you hold a door open or pick something up a lass she has dropped and you get an evil look as if your doing it to get in there knickers.

    The fact of the matter is there are still Gents around.


    Totally know what you mean here, it happened the other day actually (baring in mind im only 16!?) i opened one of our school coridoor doors (i was pulling it towards me) and a girl was incoming so i waiting till she got past and she sort of tutted a me and screwed her face up.

    IT wasnt neccesary at all.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I love a gentleman! I get so surprised when men hold the door open for me!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I like being a gent, and im sure quite a few other lads enjoy it too.

    Unfortuantly there are fakers who do want to get in lasses knicks giving us a bad name!

    Girls want there cake and ha'penny as my old man would say,
    They want the caring senstive Gent, and the rough as a bears backside Rebel.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Stu lil wrote: »
    I like being a gent, and im sure quite a few other lads enjoy it too.

    Unfortuantly there are fakers who do want to get in lasses knicks giving us a bad name!

    Girls want there cake and ha'penny as my old man would say,
    They want the caring senstive Gent, and the rough as a bears backside Rebel.

    Sometimes you can tell when a guy is just being greasy though. Eww.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sometimes you can tell when a guy is just being greasy though. Eww.

    This is true, in which case it would be appropriate to give them the tutting and screwing face up routine that Graham spoke of.

    How would you respond if you got a cheeky wink?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Stu lil wrote: »
    This is true, in which case it would be appropriate to give them the tutting and screwing face up routine that Graham spoke of.

    How would you respond if you got a cheeky wink?

    Depends on the guy!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeh, i think there are too many suspect guys out there to risk being 'naive' (ie: think they are genuinely nice and it turns out they are sleazy) - also some people don't have much confidence (like me) and may think you are taking the piss by winking...or that you were winking at the person behind us etc..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It all depends really. Sometimes i'll give a look back or check em out but i do it less these days now i have a boyfriend. If the guy came up to me, i'd feel like such a bitch to have to turn him down.

    Like its been said though, you can tell if a guy is geniunely nice and into you or just a sleaze.

    Also, if i'm in a good, flirtatious mood, i'll smile at every bugger even if he is a bit sleazy. If i'm in a bad mood however, i'll give a look that could kill.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Holding a door open is just common decency like, I do it for fellas as well as girls.

    OP-how many people do you know pick girls up off the street? Fuck all, one in a millon shot there like, you need to be going to social events, pubs and clubs are the obvious but not the only one's.

    I get the odd flirty smile when walking down the street but not something I'm gonna follow up.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yerascrote wrote: »
    Holding a door open is just common decency like, I do it for fellas as well as girls.

    OP-how many people do you know pick girls up off the street? Fuck all, one in a millon shot there like, you need to be going to social events, pubs and clubs are the obvious but not the only one's.

    I get the odd flirty smile when walking down the street but not something I'm gonna follow up.
    Spot on! I agree 100% with this.
    Just don't look for it too hard, you're more likely to get flirty looks etc when you're least expecting it...not sure how this works but it generally seems to be the case for me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Andy_46 wrote: »
    I don't get it, why do women show absolutely no interest, then moan about not being able to find a bloke?

    Could you not quite easily turn that statement around on yourself?

    Anyway, it depends what you mean by interest. Like Yera, once in a blue moon in terms of actually initiating any contact with you (like blatantly smiling at you). The occasional glance or second look maybe. And the occasional comment usually from groups of teenage girls where you never know whether they're taking the piss or genuine, but it would be illegal anyway. :D

    Pubs and clubs are the place where you get genuine interest. Most people can't be arsed with this sort of thing while they're just going about their day, and even if they would, by the time they've thought about it, the opportunity's gone anyway.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Surely there is more romance in finding someone during a routine day tho. F

    Rather then getting picked up in a pub/club?

    At least then you'll know they like you when your not dressed to kill and there intentions arent drink fuelled.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Stu lil wrote: »
    This is true, in which case it would be appropriate to give them the tutting and screwing face up routine that Graham spoke of.

    How would you respond if you got a cheeky wink?

    If the woman winked at me id probly just smile n be on my way :P
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To be honest, I'm an old romantic at heart. It has long been a fantasy of mine that a hot and very genuine guy would rush over to shelter me with his umbrella in a rain storm. Oh dear...

    But it's never happened and the likely hood is that it never would because guys generally never carried brollies.

    On the other hand, I get so little attention from guys that when I do get a wink or a flirty smile I just get very confused and bewildered!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi
    To be honest, I'm an old romantic at heart. It has long been a fantasy of mine that a hot and very genuine guy would rush over to shelter me with his umbrella in a rain storm. Oh dear...

    But it's never happened and the likely hood is that it never would because guys generally never carried brollies.

    On the other hand, I get so little attention from guys that when I do get a wink or a flirty smile I just get very confused and bewildered!


    Hi

    Lol, me too. I'm usually fairly shocked for a second or two, by which time the woman has passed and its too late to respond !!

    As for meeting in pubs / clubs, is this where everyone meets?. Many of the women i see in these places seem loud, obnoxious and when i see their lack of clothing i just completely discount them as potential relationship material. I mean, why would i want a relationship with someone who dresses like they should be on a street corner?

    Aren't there any women with any class or self respect these days that want relationships?. The last couple i've spoken to wanted to jump in bed with me straight away. Ok, great if i were looking for a one nighter, but i'm certainly not going to have a relationship with someone who jumps into bed so quickly.

    I hate the dating game.

    Andy
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i wish more men would be gentleman-like.
    i love it if a guy opens a door for me :)

    luckily for me my Boy is still a gentlemen even after 18 months, he wont let me carry any of the shopping, always opens doors for me etc :)

    if i got a cheeky wink ffrom a stranger id probably just giggle and get embarrassed lol
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Andy_46 wrote: »
    As for meeting in pubs / clubs, is this where everyone meets?. Many of the women i see in these places seem loud, obnoxious and when i see their lack of clothing i just completely discount them as potential relationship material. I mean, why would i want a relationship with someone who dresses like they should be on a street corner?

    Generalise much?
    Andy_46 wrote: »
    Aren't there any women with any class or self respect these days that want relationships?. The last couple i've spoken to wanted to jump in bed with me straight away. Ok, great if i were looking for a one nighter, but i'm certainly not going to have a relationship with someone who jumps into bed so quickly.

    Define class?

    It's not just pubs and clubs, what sort of things interest you? Look online for groups who share your iterests. It's not the hardest thing in the world but I have to reitterate, you're not going to pick a girl up randomly off the street. Even though some women like Dancing Horse fantasise about fellas rushing over and putting an umberella over them, in reality they'd probably think "who the fuck is this?"
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Whoops posted on wrong thread!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yerascrote wrote: »
    Generalise much?



    Define class?

    It's not just pubs and clubs, what sort of things interest you? Look online for groups who share your iterests. It's not the hardest thing in the world but I have to reitterate, you're not going to pick a girl up randomly off the street. Even though some women like Dancing Horse fantasise about fellas rushing over and putting an umberella over them, in reality they'd probably think "who the fuck is this?"

    Agree with all of this.

    Andy - so fucking what if somebody is happy to have sex on the first night? I've dated plenty of girls that this has happened with, and it happened with my current long term girlfriend. Get your head out of your arse with your "not relationship material" bullshit. If somebody is comfortable with sex, then how is it a lack of self respect? Sure, *some* people have this issue, but why tar everybody with the same brush?

    Also, a lot of people like to work on a 'try before you buy' basis. What is the point of chasing somebody for weeks, building it all up, and then finding out they are utter shite in bed, and you just don't work in that respect?

    Also, I rarely come across these obnoxious, loud, semi-naked women you come across. Perhaps you need to change where you're hanging out.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think Yerascrote has made the most agreeably observations, for me. I hold doors open for people all the time, regarless of age or gender. Most of the time, people say thanks or just give a smile. Occasssionally, they don't, but I'm not particularly looking for it and I don't usually give it any more though.

    I think that if it looks like your opening the door for someone because they're a girl and it seems like you're fishing for compliments, (as in you rushing to overtake them and open the door for them, then grinning at them cheesily) then it may come across as desperate, if not a bit creepy. What is creepy though is winking at complete strangers in the street.

    No one pulls on the street. No adult anyway. Other than schoolgirls wolfwhistling and sometimes telling me that their friend fancies me, I never get anyone coming onto me and I'd feel like a pervert, quite frankly, if I was to go over and chat up some girl who is waiting to cross at the lights. I get smiled at, occassionly, and it usually takes me back so much that I look away. I then realize that our of politeness, I should probably smile back, but usually the moment's ruined and I've totally rebuffed them.

    Curse the social norms of society!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    On the street? Never, but i work and live in London so everyone is normally in hurry etc.

    Now at the train station is different ball park - I have been pissed at station and had eye contact with girls but I can never judge what to do next. You both look. You both look away. You have a sneaky peak at her. 2mins go by. You catch her looking your way. You do fuck all. The train turns up and she goes. Welcome to Loserville. Population: You. :banghead:

    However I did get gf at the station - she was drunk and trying to smoke, (even though she wasn't/isn't a smoker) I laughed at her feeble attempt and she said, very un-lady-like, "What the f**k are you laughing at?", Which only made me laugh harder and we started to talk from there.

    I guess its about random moments and taking them. I wish I had the balls to speak to few more girls at random places, instead I always bottle it. I guess it's better to try and fail and consider yourself a loser for few days, than to not even bother and have those moments keep coming back to haunt you.

    Maybe, just maybe, I might act on one of those moments next time they arise - although, they really don't come about very often :p

    I guess Andy you've got to throw a bitch a bone, if she don't even meet you half way then she not one for you. But it is down to you mate to make a move, even if you cock it up - it might well just break the ice!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If i see a guy or girl i always smile and let on
    Im just big flirt though he he:flirt:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi
    g_angel wrote: »
    Agree with all of this.

    Andy - so fucking what if somebody is happy to have sex on the first night? I've dated plenty of girls that this has happened with, and it happened with my current long term girlfriend. Get your head out of your arse with your "not relationship material" bullshit. If somebody is comfortable with sex, then how is it a lack of self respect? Sure, *some* people have this issue, but why tar everybody with the same brush?

    Also, a lot of people like to work on a 'try before you buy' basis. What is the point of chasing somebody for weeks, building it all up, and then finding out they are utter shite in bed, and you just don't work in that respect?

    Also, I rarely come across these obnoxious, loud, semi-naked women you come across. Perhaps you need to change where you're hanging out.

    Hi

    So fucking what?? ..... yeah, you sound like the kind of person that would be happy sleeping with someone on the first date. I'm not like you though i'm afraid.

    Thanks for everyones advice

    Andy
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Andy_46 wrote: »
    Hi

    How often do women show interest / even seem to notice you exist?

    Mostly none of the time!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Andy_46 wrote: »
    Hi

    So fucking what?? ..... yeah, you sound like the kind of person that would be happy sleeping with someone on the first date. I'm not like you though i'm afraid.

    Thanks for everyones advice

    Andy
    Seriously, what IS wrong with sleeping with someone on a first date? I mean, I probably wouldn't but I'm uncomfortable with my body and don't like showing it off unless I'm fairly sure about the guy, but I don't begrudge anyone who is comfortable enough with themselves that they WOULD. In fact I kind of envy them. It's not about being slutty, I'm sure g_angel doesn't sleep with every girl he gets with on the first night, but if it goes that way then why say no if you're ok with doing it?

    Also love how you ignored his actual advice, which was very good. Grateful, eh. I actually agree with him that if you're going to places which are full of half-naked girls you're going to the wrong places. Yes, most places will have a couple of girls like that but I've never seen a place FULL of them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In answer to OPs question:

    [o] all the time
    [o] frequently
    [o] sometimes
    [x] infrequently
    [o] never

    :( though tbh it's quality not quantity lol

    I think women show interest in you, if you show interest in them. It's a mutual thing, only once or twice in my life have I had a girl be interested in me out of the blue. It's always, become friends / get on, get closer, hold hands and then happily ever after or something lol.

    I also think and I hope this doesn't come off as offensively sexist (although it probably is sexist, though I still think it's true) that the done thing is that guys approach girls, and for that reason if a girl is interested she may drop subtle hints but is not likely to make a move so if you're not good at picking up those hints (like every single man ever born ;)) then you may not realise someone fancies you. At the same time girls probably don't realise when a shy guy fancies them as they then go on about how nobody fancies them when you know for a fact your best friend does and just doens't have the balls to risk rejection etc.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why dont you just grow some balls and go speak to loads of women?
    What have you got to lose??You wont know these women so why do you give a shit what they think?
    I dont ,they can think what they like.They dont know me really do they after a chance meeting and a few words,so fuck them.I dont mean it to be nasty but you gotta look after yourself first and foremost so I only ever worry about what I think.
    Thats what I did (and will do when Im single again) and it gives you confidence and experience.
    Seems to me your looking for some woman to come in,show you some attention and mother you a bit.And to be honest it aint gonna happen.
    Your the man and you have to go after her.
    If you got no confidence in yourself then why would anyone else have any confidence in you?And we all know women want a confident guy right?
    As for sleeping with a girl on the first meeting,yeah im up for that and if the girl is even better.My current gf went home with me the first night and now we`re officially a couple (its on facebook so its true!:D ).
    What else would I want to do with a girl I fancy?
    Judging women badly on those grounds is completely unfair and if your bringing that attitude you better change it.
    My 2 cents.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *sigh* I wish the world was more romantic...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
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