i can't really take this anymore

Former Member

I'm still reading.

Some Like it Hot is awesome. Best last line ever.

JsT

Yeah, I'm still reading.

Sorry I've not had much time to catch up with you lately, been up to my neck in work

Former Member

got seriously freaked out at around 2 ish, i had a friend of mine ring me whilst high as a kite on coke - this was one of the friends i had visions of hanging in my bathroom. He completly freaked me and i'm now seriously worried about him.

got woken up by the fire alarm, at quarter to 7, haven't really been able to get much sleep since. i feel kinda sick now...i kinda feel like i need to be looked after - like have someone with me all the time, that can help me cook and clean and make sure i don't just sit and stare into space for hours on end or start analysing myself and thinking more and more that i'm schisophrenic....

Former Member

can you book yourself as a voluntary inpatient? I would seriously consider it

Former Member

i could but i seriously don't want to....i don't think i could cope with other mentals...

Former Member

i think the meds take a little while to build up and start working don't they? i don't know much about what you are on. Hang in there, each day is a step forward whether it is a small or big one x

Former Member

twisted_trinity wrote: »

i could but i seriously don't want to....i don't think i could cope with other mentals...

if youre a voluntary patient, you could come out again if it wasnt working.
At least you wouldnt be alone. They probably wouldnt be all completely mental. Some might just be not coping, like you, and be there for the support.

Former Member

i had the nurses here again, that made me feel a bit better.

no body is talking to each other though, why why why don't people pass on information!

Former Member

well, they can't seem to transfer me to the next door hospital...which means that my studies will majorly suffer if i have to travel an hour each way 5 days a week for therapy...fucks sake! why can't they sort this out???

I'm really panicy this evening, my pulse is racing for no reason...i really want all these side effects to stop....

Former Member

Talk to your university. I had to travel for ages to get to my appointments, up to 4 times a week, for three years of my course and they allowed me extra time for coursework, etc., because of the time that took up and the fact that there was general illness-related upset that meant I sometimes lost days at a time just lying in bed crying or unable to focus.

Former Member

i have done already, but what really annoys me is that there is a hospital within 2 mins walking distance that could treat me if people actually talked to each other and came up with some kind of agreement. that would mean i wouldn't end up spending so much money on traveling and i'd be able to continue with my studies pretty much as normal.

I'm going to get hold of mind and maybe PALS on tuesday and see if they can do anything...

the nausea is starting it get to me...otherwise aside from feeling physically tired, i'm actually feeling quite good. i've started to think about how i'm going to finish all the projects i had to put down when this started and all the things i can do myself to make me better. i'm getting chores done, and things seem to be looking up, although the screaming is still there and i am kinda worried that i've got the begginings of voices in my head, but at least the anti depressants seem to be working...they're meant to take about a month to kick in...the anti psychotics are meant to have started by now...ish...i am worried that i'm having a bit of a manic moment...see i'm still analysing! not good!

But i'm keeping myself busy, i need to buy some bits today, and then tonight i'm cooking for a friend and then we're watching red dwarf, and tomorrow i'm spending the day with another friend, and i'm cooking dinner (again)...

whirlwind?

Former Member

i've now found the downside to my meds...i now can't orgasm...great! So, i'm gonna spend the next 6 months not being able to orgasm, and only feeling good for 3 hours of the day....

i'm very pissed off now...

Former Member

thats really shit

JsT

Damn! That must be annoying!

Former Member

twisted_trinity wrote: »

i've now found the downside to my meds...i now can't orgasm...great! So, i'm gonna spend the next 6 months not being able to orgasm, and only feeling good for 3 hours of the day....

i'm very pissed off now...

If at first you don't succeed, try again?

Surely there can't be a physical reason for not being able to orgasm due to medication?

JsT

Inability to orgasm can be a side affect for some AD's.

Former Member

I had that side effect from prozac and its really frustrating!

Former Member

among the other side effects - such as feeling sick, getting dizzy, having a space around 12 o'clock when i feel really down, and around 3 when i'm kinda manic, and then 9ish when i get panicy and aggitated...not being able to orgasm it pretty shit...

The combo of the anti psychotics and antidepressants have such a cocktail of side effects, but they are kinda doing their job...

argh....! i want to cry! i'm sick of all of this!

JsT

Some people just find it more difficult to finish, you sure you aren't even getting near?

Sorry if its a bit personal lol!

Former Member

no, i'm getting to that point where you feel like you're gonna explode...but i don't!

Former Member

it may just be temporary...when your body has settled into the meds it may get back to normal orgasm wise.

Former Member

i'm feeling loads better, but the screaming comes back into my head everytime i meantion it or something like money is brought up...

I need need need to get out...i've been stuck indoors all day by myself...i've tarted myself up, and i think i look the best i have in months, but i can't just keep sitting around...i want to go out for cocktails or something tonight, but theres no way i can drink more than 1 and i've got no one to go with...

i might be able to get someone to come to the cinema...i can feel another manic few hours coming on...

i wish i could stop the swinging from feeling kinda hopeless to being on top of the world...

Former Member

I wish i could suggest somewhere to go out! Cinema might be nice, what other things to do in london are there that don't involve drinking?

Former Member

well, my going out plans got shelved for watching a film at home with a rather lovely and huggable guy instead!

Former Member

Well analysing is good, it means you are still in touch with reality which lessens the chance of schizopherina! (sp)

Former Member

Aww hunni hope your'e ok.
Its shame i don't live london othewise i could of quite happly kept you company

Former Member

i've got my social worker coming over today, and the community mental health nurses to give me more meds, i'm feeling kinda down today...haven't taken my anti-depressants yet though

i'm pissed off with myself!

Former Member

i'm so pissed off, i'm having to stop myself smashing something...

i've just had a very good married friend of mine ask me to be their mistress...this was the same person that came to the hospital with me...what a fucking twat! he's knows i can't cope with anything like this right now...ARGH!

and my CMN forgot my medication this morning, so i'm hoping it arrives by 7.30, or i don't have any for tomorrow morning, in which case i'm gonna be freaking out by lunchtime, and they know i'm going away for 3 days tomorrow....arghhhhhhh!¬

Former Member

they have only given me tomorrows dose, so i have to pick up my prescription tomorrow on the way to the train station...!

FFS!

why can't they do their job??

Former Member

Hi Twisted Trinity

Seems frustrating that you have to get the rest of your meds tomorrow - did they give a reason why?

It sound's like your 'friend' who has asked you be his mistress has not got your best interests at heart. How long have you known this person? Do you feel able to tell him how this proposal has made you feel? As it doesan't seem fair on you.

Take care and keep posting -

:wave: