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Think I'm loosing my best mate for good.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Some of you might know of what crap has been going on in my life recently from previous threads. Alcohol problems, a suicide in the family and bad debts.

I am currently seeking help for my drinking problem and there isnt really much I can do about my auntie except to get over it and I have also declared bankruptcy.
So I have most problems under control.

But whats bothering me most is that through all this I'm getting the strong impression that my best friend has decided he no longer wants anything to do with me. And who's to blame him really. I crashed his car.
So he kicked me out and said I could move back in when I've sorted myself out. I.e. paid for teh damage to the car and recovered from my problems.
But when i went round to collect some of my stuff as I am now living at my parents he told my mum he doesnt want me back. When I ask him about this he says "I told you, get yourself sorted and see how it goes. You might decide you want to move in with some other mates or meet a girl. No fuss at the minute but you dont knwo what will happen between now and then."
he'd also emptied my room when I last went round said he was decorating it and left all my stuff outside it in boxes. probably thinking I wouldnt look in the room I saw that he had taken out the bed and replaced it with a work bench which I built for him by the way, with a computer on it.

I get the feeling I'm being told total lies and that he isnt going to forgive me, even though this is the first mistake I've made.

I'm really distressed about this because he is teh best friend ive ever had and Ive never been as close to anyone the way I have with him.
Anyone any advice?


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hope you are feeling ok? As it stands, your friend has control over you, he is making the decision about letting you come back to stay etc. You must take back control. Don't depend on him. even if he did let you come back, your friendship will not be the same anymore anyway. I was best friends with a girl for nearly 20 years- then something happened & now we still talk every now & again, but thats it. I've moved on & made more friends & so has she. Its brilliant that you have been sorting things out for yourself, but you may have to accept that this friendship isn't going to be the same anymore. And thats not so bad! The dynamics of Friendships & relationships change over the years anyway! Don't be depending on him, he's already removed your bed? He's not worried about you, so don't be worrying about him. You have paid your dues to him. Concentrate on yourself....and be positive. start looking into getting somewhere to stay if you can't stay at you parents. Good luck!
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