Depressed.

Former Member

My best friend self-harms.

And it makes me feel so crap.
I've posted before but that was about her.
This is about me.

I just feel like,,
Like I can't do anything right for her.
I try to help,,
And she just shouts.
She says she doesn't need help but I'm so sure she does.

I just want her to stop.
I don't want to know about it.
I wish she hadn't told me.

It makes me so upset to think that she thinks that her life is so crap she has to self-harm.
It makes me feel so useless, like I can't do anything to help her.

I can't tell.
She said she will run.
I can't not tell.
There are so many opportunites where I just want to cry and let it all out.
But that's so selfish.
I'm being so selfish.
I'm not the one with the problem.

Sitting here,,
Typing this.
I feel like trying it.
I feel like it might bring some good into the world.
I just want her to stop.
I want her to stop and be normal and happy like she used to be.

I can't take it anymore.
I just want it all to go away.
I need to tell someone.
I need someone to help her.
I want to know I'm helping in some way.

But she just won't let me and it's so depressing.
If I could tell just my peer listener.
Or my teacher.
An adult at my school.
Just someone where I can just sit and cry and let it all out.

It's ruining how I think.
How I feel.

Please.
Help me.
x

Former Member

how do you try and help? do you tell her "just to snap out of it" or "say I understand"? because sometimes this can make people snap even more because they think you'll never understand, and they are still alone, if that makes sense? Just a thought. Or maybe she never meant anyone to find out, so she's angry about that?

I think you need to tell someone how you feel though, it's awful if it's making you feel depressed too. is there a teacher that you can trust? or a family member? they may be able to tell you more specific things such as local services for your friend to contact if she wants too.

If not I don't know what else to suggest at the moment, apart from making sure she knows your there for her.

hug

Former Member

She doesn't want any help.
And I can't handle it anymore.

Me and my friend are becoming severely depressed.
x

Former Member

Hey 'Ahundredpercentworry' :wave:

Greenday88 has given you some great advice :yes: , and you have also identified that you would like to talk to someone about this - a teacher or peer listener. This is a really good idea. Or perhaps you could try talking to someone confidentially at Childline (if you are under 19) - 0800 11 11 or the Samaritans - 08457 90 90 90, there are people there trained to listen to you and talk through how you are feeling. It can often help that these people do not know you or anything about your life.

Supporting a friend who self-harms is a lot of pressure to bear and it's important that you take care of yourself. Have you seen our pages on The Site about this? The entire page on self-harm may be worth having a look at as you have described being tempted to self-harm yourself.

People have to be ready in themselves to change behaviour and make steps towards stopping self-harming. Unfortunately, there is not a lot that anyone can do or say to make that person be ready. It has to come from them. You are doing everything that you can already - being her friend.

Also, it sound's like all of this is really affecting you, and it may be that you have to take a step away in order to keep yourself safe. How would it feel to do that? You are most certainly not being selfish and this IS about you, you are suffering as well.

Please keep posting and let us know how things go for you.

Take care -

Former Member

why not try and get her to post on here and talk about it? it might help her to see/talk to others with the same problem?
hope things get better

Former Member

She doesn't want to post on here.
She doesn't want help.

But she needs to stop.
x

Former Member

The trouble is, no-one can really help her unless she allows them to
I hope she is ok, and you are a good friend to look out for her, i'm sure she will come to appreciate this.