devastated

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
i just found out my girlfriend is going away to study abroad in a few months, and although i obviously support her decision i am absolutely devastated because it surely means the end of our relationship.

its complicated because right now we both live in a city which is not the hometown for either of us. i'm not even in my home country. i am only here for her, and very soon i need to find a new job - being a foreigner in the current climate means i will not get a good one, and really, how am i going to live through doing a shit job for months on end if she's not even here?

i would never stand in her way, but i can't just lie and act like i am happy about it. i trust her, but with that kind of distance, time, and the erasmus party lifestyle (we both know what its like) then i cannot see it ending well, i really can't.

i can't go with her either, or go to the country with her (which is my home country, incidentally) because she still has a few more years to study here, and my chances of getting a job here from afar (ie, over the internet) would be even lower than they are from here. its logistically impossible.

i have no idea what to do! should i end the relationship now? i dont want to, but its going to hurt a lot less than being cheated on while doing some shit job only because you love someone who isnt even there!!!

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you moved to her home country so you can live with her and now she's going away to study? Didn't she know that before?

    Sounds pretty unfair to me. You took the sacrifice to move to her place, now she can make one and stay with you.

    Can you afford to return to your home country?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yes, but then after half a year she'd be coming back here...

    and to be fair i really don't see my future being in britain, i'd much rather stay here.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    why cant you go with her?

    It seems unfair if you cant and youve moved countries to be with her.
    Whats stopping you from going if youre not working and have no children?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if i went with her, i'd have to somehow find a job where she's going, then when she comes back, somehow (as a foreigner, from a foreign country, during the credit crisis) find a job back here. like i said, the chances of that working out are basically nonexistant. plus i dont want to go and 'watch over her' while she's there. i'm not her dad. she should enjoy it...

    how do i tell her its unfair without exercising emotional blackmail?
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