Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options

Not being comfortable with myself.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok well I really wasn't sure which section to post my problem in but I decided on this section anyway.
UMMM well I'm very much in love with my boyfriend, I've known him for over a year and a half and we have been a couple for just over a month.We are in a long distance relationship, but that's ok we both deal with that very well.
So here comes the problem...*brace yourselves* :-p
We often talk about the sexual side of thing's..and I always shut down when we talk about it basically because I'm not comfortable with the way I am physically.I am over weight but I don't feel within myself that I'm ugly so to speak.
I can't wait for my bf to come and I really want to take our realtionship to a more deeper level.Just I feel embarressed because of the way I look :( and I know it's going too effect thing's.I'm not shy so shy when it comes down to it but at the same time,I'm not comfortable either purely because of my body.
In all honesty if i didn't have a problem with my body this wouldn't even be an issue..but it is and I don't really know what to do :-/
I got a few options that I'm aware of.
(1) Loose weight and get fit
(2) Talk to my boyfriend and explain the way I feel
(3) ooo well for me ther isn't an option 3.

I just hate feeling like this, and I wanna show my boyfriend how much I love him on a physically level but it's just getting me down..Any advice would be much appreciated.
Thank you
Melissa28

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know how you feel about not being comfortable with yourself......but your boyfriend obviously likes you the way you are if u have known him for over a year. I used to have an eating disorder where i lost alot of wieght (not that i was over weight to start with), but losing all the weight i did changed me in myself i ended up losing the b/f i was with ended up depressed and all that. i then met someone who helped me become me again.
    I know this aint really answering your question but i thought it might help.
    remember he must like you the way you are else he wouldnt of got with you after all this time of knowing him. All i can say is just tell him how you feel he will understand.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by s3xk1tt3n

    remember he must like you the way you are else he wouldnt of got with you after all this time of knowing him. All i can say is just tell him how you feel he will understand.

    I agree...if he thought there was something wrong with you, he wouldnt be with you. I think you should talk to him and tell him how you feel...im sure he'll understand :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    NICE guys look more at how confident you act rather than how fit you are.

    If you can try and feel compfortable with yourself you will be more attractive to him. Dont know if this makes sense but i been told its true several time.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well i was in the same situation not long distance relationship but i always felt a lil over weight i mean i don't look fat on the outside but i jus don't feel comfortable with the way my body looks and i think i cud loose weight n stuff.
    Well i think the best option is to talk to ur bf about it and see if it does effect him which i doubt it will.
    But i remeber something my bf once said to me wen i looked down and said i didn't think i looked fit coz i was fat. he said
    I don't really like skinny girls cause you've nothin to hold on to lol lol i know that wasn't one of the best things to remeber but it made me smile lol *blushes*
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    "More cushion for the pushin"

    I often feel self conscious about my size, I've been 22 stone and the lowest I've been is just under 14 stone (at the mo I'm about 17, so I think the gym is in order) but neither when I was fat or skinny did I ever worry about what the girl I was going out with thought about my size (well maybe a bit, but then I'd try and remember that they wouldn't be with me if it mattered to them) so this made things ok, the main thing is that they aren't bothered by it, and that would tend to mean that it was ok. Like I've said b4, we men are very simple creatures, we only need 2 things 1) feed us and 2) f*ck us, the rest is just transitory bollox. we're emontional midgets who get horny and hungry, treat us as such and you'll be happier and so will we.


    (My god I think I've just solved the worlds problems!:D)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well thanks so far to everyone that's replied but still keep em coming..I could do with everyone's opionion.
    Anyway I actually started a diet today :( not so much a diet diet but I've started to cut down on certain stuff and eat alittle better..I've had enough anyhow.I'm not huge I'm actually a size 14 but I'm not happy with it.So if I'm not happy then it's time to do something abou it..sigh..it's gonna be hard though but worth it in the end.
    And I'll be blunt here I just can't imagine being butt naked with my boyfriend with the way I look lol..I'd feel ugly desite knowing my boyfriend loves me for exactly who I am.
    And I know if I loose the weight I'll feel a hell of a lot better about myself..So I'm pretty much going to do this for me. :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    good on ya girl, and the only person who u should do it far too
    ps being a size 14 is only bad when you're 4' 2"

    14 is my fav size girl, i don't see a prob?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    LoL well luckily I'm 5'5 :)
    But regardless I'm still not happy with the way I look. :(
    AHEM ..anyway I'm not going to wallo in self pitty so to speak.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What the hell made u think she was 4'2? she'd be smaller than me and i'm small :p
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Mel ...

    Well I'm sorry I haven't been online to talk to you about how your feeling recently - but let me try and help you out here.

    You know, just take one thing at a time, and let things happen by themselves, pretty soon you'll be ripping eachother clothes off ;)But more importantly talk to him about it, if it worries you that much, he's gonna see you naked sooner or later and it would be better if you feel a little more comfortable around him.

    I'm pretty sure everyone is a bit shy/embarrased/scared/worried about being naked for the first time infront of someone new(especially the one you love) This advice is very simple because what you have to do is very simple Mel .... "If he doesn't like the way you look - then he isn't the one for you"

    In the end after you've gotten over the shy stage with your body, you'll be have sex with the lights on lol instead of off. But no matter what happens, remember you don't look anything like Phat Ass Ugly Muff Fluff so count your lucky stars :p

    Speak to you soon hun

    TC
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    just a random height plcked from the air DP m8
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    pluck from the air? did u jus pluck my feathers?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    chance would be a fine thing!

    ooh the posibilities!:D
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi, I know how you feel to be self-conscious of the way you look becasue I am exactly the same-basically i hate it. You've got to learn to have self confidence in yourself and like what other people have said your bf obviously loves you for the person you are deep down and not your image, although he obviosly has no problems about that either. Talk to him about the way you're feeling and go at your own pace. Going at your own pace will mean you get the confidence slowly while still doing the things you want to do.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't get too excited SD m8t
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    how about bein 5"2 and size 14, rather than 4"2 and size 14 ?!??!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know it's easier when you taller..but regardless of height I'm not happy with my weight, I could be 5'8 and it still wouldn't change anything.
    Height is not the issue here.
Sign In or Register to comment.