What should i do? How should i do it? GF trouble im so stuck!

Former Member

Hey,
Im with this girl and i used to really like her, but no more. I was with her a year ago as well, then had a break and now we're together. She loves me apparantly, but i can't say i feel the same back, actually i am not all that happy with her. I like someone else. Alot. And she is probably one of my better friends aswell.
I know i should finish with the girl im with but i hate what i would do to her!
And whats the best way i should handle the situation of who i like?
Please help, because the longer im with this girl, the less chance i have getting with who i actually like (but i suppose thats not possible anyway)
Thanks x

Former Member

Hi Josh,

I can understand how this is a tough position for you to be in. Not wanting to hurt the girl you're with at the moment is obviously a positive sign, as is the fact that you are recognising you may eventually be happier with someone. One thing I will suggest to you is, you mention another girl you like, this happens, fair enough, seen it happen dozens of times before. However, I would be extremely wary of starting something else with this other girl for the next few months. Again, this is something which people say time and time again, but relationship breakdowns and beginnings which come out of them too quickly because it feels like the grass is greener, do seem to mess up a lot of friendships, not to mention the person doing the dumping.

Breakups where the relationship has exceeded the few months together timescale are often complicated. Although, there may have been indications throughout from both side suggesting the two of you are maybe not as well suited as you originally thought, and it can be easy to just look at these when you've decided to call it a day. However, time, familiarity and the fondness or love which stems from this can compel people to look past this for solutions which will prolong the relationship, this can often be a difficult thing to make sense of when a relationship ends. If things haven't been right for a while (which you seem to suggest in your post) I do think you need to question why you have allowed the relationship to continue. Often not wanting to hurt the other person is a common reason, but I think if you would be willing to start something new with someone else so quickly, is part of it perhaps you feel uncomfortable not being in a relationship?

Former Member

I was in the exact same position. Breaking up is hard, but if yoru open and honest (you dont have to tell them you liek soemone else, its just not working perhaps?) then you can still be freinds. Dont mess them about and dont cheat. Its better to get it done sooner rather than later and youll feel better for it.

However, do not expect the other person to fall to there knees. I left my bf, and i like someone else who doesnt like me back. So now im alone. But i know i did the right thing!
good luck.

xxx

Former Member

Hey josh, reading your post made me think of the exact same situation which iv been going through with my ex. last october he was in the same situation as you are in now, but with me. only difference was we had just started same uni and same uni course together - i gave up everything for him. then everything went wrong and i was devastated when he wanted to end it. and for the following 4 months i was in councelling and severely depressed. but now, even 6 months down the line i'm still affected by everything (im gonna be changing uni and course this september ) but obviously time heals. my advice is do it sooner rather than later, (im pleased my ex didnt cheat on me) and dont say ''lets just be friends'' as thats the last thing she will want......... and well, good luck..... x zoey

Former Member

honesty is the best policy. the longer you leave it the harder its going to be yeah ok your going to hurt her alot but 1 its not fair on her cause she is thinking there is more there than there is between you both and 2 its not fair on yourself !!

good luck

xx

Former Member

It'a fairer to let her down gently. Try not to be seen out & about with the new girl for a while though..I mean you wouldn't like it if your future ex paraded off with a new guy the next day. You'll have to do it sooner or later....it's always best to be true to yourself.

Former Member

you are doing her worse by tying her down in this relationship. have a talk with her, break up and break off all contact. It's gonna end like this anyway, so don't drag it out and make it worse over time.

Former Member

StrubbleS wrote: »

you are doing her worse by tying her down in this relationship. have a talk with her, break up and break off all contact. It's gonna end like this anyway, so don't drag it out and make it worse over time.

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