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seeing your dad cry

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
(perhaps this should go in relationships, but that seems exclusively boy-girl)
Went to a memorial service for my godfather two days ago - my first - where my dad gave the eulogy. (is that what's it's called?) anyway, it was really good, but at the end of it when he came and sat down he just lost it completely, broke down. It was kind of terrifying, because I've never seen my dad vulnerable before. he's always a tough guy - not physically, but he doesn't show that much emotion, usually. I don't mean that he's cold, but just that he's pretty resilient. And it really freaked me out. It's one of those clsasic coming of age things everyone goes through, I know, but how do you deal with it? I've known for a long time that my dad is human, but actually seeing it - and seeing someone of his age (63) die - realy brought home to me how ephemeral all this shit is and I can't stop thinking about it.
I'm not on a sympathy hunt: just wondering if anyone's been through the same thing and can give me some advice.
(I know this is pretty insignificant compared to a lot of people's problems.)


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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: seeing your dad cry

    Mmm... it is a bit scary to see your dad cry. You always think of him as invulnerable. I saw my dad cry last summer. It was disconcerting, because I never expected it. But I think it was a good thing. For a lot of his life he never cried. He always told us that we should never cry and that it is a sign of emotional weakness. I think it's healthier to get it out of your system and admit that you feel sadness, grief, anger, etc. It made my dad human to see him cry. It was also very sad, because it was when he was in hospital. It was a very humbling, yet reassuring, experience somehow.

    If you try to think of it this way, it might help--it's alright for you to feel emotions, and to admit them. It doesn't make you weak. In fact, it makes you a lot stronger. It's so difficult to admit when you've made mistakes, and it takes a lot of courage to do so. Just be grateful that you could see the humanity before you have to lose him.

    Don't know how much help that is, but there you go.
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