How to be happier?

Former Member

Right, so I've been feeling low recently. I'm trying my best to fend it off but I'm beginning to feel just a little bit like the tide is dragging me out and there's nothing I can do about it.

Usually I go to the gym 3 times a week, I work 40 hours a week, I see friends as much as possible and I do stuff I enjoy, try and eat well etc etc, which all helped me when I was recovering from depression.
Now, I can't go to the gym or exercise because I'm still recovering from my op. My friends all seem busy most of the time at the moment and I'm getting really bored and fed up and aggitated.
Ontop of all this I came off the pill in November and my body is still adjusting and I get the feeling that my hormones are not helping at all. I can be high as a kite one minute, then the next minute I've plunged into self-hatred and hopelessness and get agrumentative and irritable. I had mega bad PMS, and I've been scaring myself with my mood-swings so god knows what it's like to live with me at the moment.

Also, the thing that scares me most is that I've been getting these 'bad day dreams'... I used to get them all the time when I was depressed... I'll just be doing something and my mind will wander to some horrible image in my mind... examples are like seeing my family all mangled up in a car crash, or imagining a sudden loud bang and the house caving in on me... or just weird ones like turning on taps and fire shooting out of them or drills coming through a wall I'm leaning on and fatally injuring me....
That's not really normal, is it?
It just worries me because there's a history of mental health problems in my family. Last year my uncle nearly died because he stopped eating and drinking and had to have electric shock therapy because nothing else was working. He has schizophrenia or something similar. I don't think I've got anything like that... But when you see someone deteriorate so quickly like that its just scary.

I thought I was totally in control of my mind, because I beat the depression so well before. But at the moment it's like a tug of war going on. I'll think something morbid or depressing, then I try and counter-act it with a good thought, but then I suddenly find I've been wallowing in this numb kind of non-state to try and compromise, and I find it hard holding a conversation or consentrating on anything.

I've been feeling a little bit paranoid about what people think about me and stuff too... And just getting ever so sightly nervous about going out and things... which I do not want to do because I was nearly house-bound for about a year because I got panic attacks just catching a bus before, and I am not going down that road again. :no:

I want to be proactive and do something; but like I said I can't exercise it away and I don't really know what else I can do.

It doesn't even seem to be caused by anything... My life is fine at the moment. The only thing that's bothering me is a hopeless situation with a guy that I'm besotted about but that situation has been the same for the past two years at least, and I'm pretty used to living with that now.
Just before my low moods always seemed to stem from something; but I'm just beginning to wonder if they really did or if things sort of covered up the real cause.

And before anyone says it; I'm not seeing my doctor about it because they're useless with mental health... They've been useless for 7 years and I don't think they're going to suddenly improve. Last time I went they basically told me there was bugger all they could do for me, and just to come back if I got any worse. They don't even refer you to counselling.

I just want some practical advise really of what I can be doing to help boost the happy hormones.

Former Member

If you were really going crazy I doubt you'd know it in advance.

First you're coming off the pill and hormones and things are all over the place.

Then your daily and weekly routine has disappeared.

Plus may you got something similar to SAD, maybe being stuck indoors is depriving you of the light you'd get outdoors

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seasonal_affective_disorder

I'd say try and keep yourself occupied and busy - and maybe something that uses your hands as well not just writing and typing.

maybe buy some material and cloth and learn to make your own clothes

or do some light gardening

Former Member

I know how you feel; I'm in a very similar situation right now, for different reasons. So I suppose I can't really give any advice but lots of hugs and empathy.

x

Former Member

Hello Lu_c:wave:

It sounds like you have alot going on at the moment. Thank you for sharing your concerns with the forum. Regarding what you mentioned about a referral to counselling, counselling can be a helpful source of exploration whether your having difficulties or you just need to debrief.

what did your doctor say about counselling the last time you brought it up? How do you feel about counselling?



garfield27

Former Member

I don't like counselling. It didn't help me But I know plenty of people who said it was useful!

Former Member

I had counselling before but I had to pay for it because my doctor told me they had no one to refer me to.

It wasn't especially helpful tbh.

Former Member

I think you just need to focus on the fact that this is all mostly tempoary and soon you will be back on your feet going out and seeing people and having fun and whats more your quality of life should also improve as your operation was a success and you will be able to go back on the pill.

OK so you've been pining over a boy for a while and if you don't get anywhere soon you will probably have to cut your losses and move on, but its not like other men haven't shown an interest in you in the mean time - its only a matter of time before someone you like back comes along i'm sure.

Former Member

Hey Lu_c,

It looks like you've got alot on your mind right now, like others have said maybe you could try doing something different if your'e struggling to get back into your usual routine?

I understand that you feel your doctor may not be the right option but there are some really great services out there which can provide counselling and support.

I'm not sure what is available in your area, have you looked at the 'local advice finder' on the health and wellbeing main page?

Let us know how you're getting on.

dp

ps. you're being proactive by being here :thumb:

Indrid Cold

To be honest, being "trapped" at home (or somewhere else) with nothing to do can do all sorts of things to a person.
Find something you can do that makes you happy (or at least something that you enjoy) that you can do at home.