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In Love With My Best Friend But Engaged To Someone Else...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Basically ive been in love with my best friend for the best part of 4 years...ive known him for about 6 or 7 years. I recently told him how i felt and he does not treat me any different then before, our friendship is still as strong, maybe even stronger. He has told me that he does not love me the same way but just as a friend.

As u might have guessed this is a big problem for me considering i am already engaged to someone who i am madly in love with and couldnt live without :heart: Also it is not helped that the two guys in my life are best friends so we are always hanging out together and one drunken night my fella found out how i felt bout my friend and things have been a little tense but are getting back on track because he knows im not going to leave him for my friend.

I still have the feelings for my friend and am always getting upset about the fact that i will never be with him, im always jelous of his gf's and its driving me mad...i dont want to feel this way anymore...any help??:crying:

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you're having these feelings about your friend i don't think you should be engaged to anyone at the moment.
    It sounds as though you're just stringing along your fiance and keeping him on the back burner, would you still want to be with him if the friend you have feelings for suddenly declared they were mutual?
    It sounds as though that guy just sees you as a friend (as he's said)...not a lot else you can do really..
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I do think about that sometimes. I dont think i would leave my fella if my friend suddenly declared his love for me...just wouldnt be right. Plus i do honestly love my fiance, been engaged for a hell of a long time now. I just hate the feeling of loving 2 people
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He dose not have feelings for you. So get over him!
    Or you can just keep loving him and be miserable.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    purified wrote: »
    He dose not have feelings for you. So get over him!
    Or you can just keep loving him and be miserable.

    i second that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How long have you been with your fiance? Were you with him before you developed feelings for your friend? I think the fact you continued to see your friend when you knew you were in love with him, despite being engaged to someone else, is selfish and completely unfair on your fiance.

    Also, why did you tell your friend you have feelings for him? Was it because you hoped he'd reciprocate them? The real loser in this situation is your fiance, you shouldn't be stringing him along like this. Make a choice: either drop your friend or drop your fiance, or at least stop entertaining the thought of being with your friend.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    wooooooooah wrote: »
    How long have you been with your fiance? Were you with him before you developed feelings for your friend? I think the fact you continued to see your friend when you knew you were in love with him, despite being engaged to someone else, is selfish and completely unfair on your fiance.

    Also, why did you tell your friend you have feelings for him? Was it because you hoped he'd reciprocate them? The real loser in this situation is your fiance, you shouldn't be stringing him along like this. Make a choice: either drop your friend or drop your fiance, or at least stop entertaining the thought of being with your friend.
    Yeah i was with my fiance a lot longer before my feelings developed for my friend.
    I told him because he knew something was up with me because i actually tried to avoid him which just upset him and he wanted to kno why.
    I kno im not going to end up with my friend, but i still have these feelings which hurt like hell and i just want them to go away...i want it all to go back to how it used to be
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How long have you been engaged?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    chemist wrote: »
    How long have you been engaged?
    Been engaged 6 years
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    6 years? :eek:

    So why aren't you married yet? If its not that you've been in love with someone else for the last 4 years, then what's stopping you?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    42cr wrote: »
    6 years? :eek:

    So why aren't you married yet? If its not that you've been in love with someone else for the last 4 years, then what's stopping you?
    Its got nothing to do with me being in love with someone else, we just dont have the cash to get married at the moment unfortunatly
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sure you could pull of getting married for a couple of hundred quid if you realllly wanted to get married. Are you sure your not just using the i've got no money trick to avoid the fact that you've not entirely sure you want to make that commitment.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I really think you should call off the engagement.

    I have a feeling the guy you are engaged to is going to get hurt in the longrun as it seems quite possible things might change.

    It is a really awful basis to start a marriage
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sammys-Girly wrote: »
    Its got nothing to do with me being in love with someone else, we just dont have the cash to get married at the moment unfortunatly
    Sure about that? I'm sorry but it sounds to me like you're making excuses.

    If you REALLY loved your fiance and wanted to be with him, you would have made the commitment and had a cheap register office wedding years ago and you wouldn't be fretting now about wether or not you were in love with someone else.

    If you do love your fiance at all, its time to make a choice: either ditch the other guy, get married and get on with your life together, or break up and start over. At the moment you're not being fair to yourself, your fiance or your friend - time to make the tough choice.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    42cr wrote: »
    Sure about that? I'm sorry but it sounds to me like you're making excuses.

    If you REALLY loved your fiance and wanted to be with him, you would have made the commitment and had a cheap register office wedding years ago and you wouldn't be fretting now about wether or not you were in love with someone else.

    If you do love your fiance at all, its time to make a choice: either ditch the other guy, get married and get on with your life together, or break up and start over. At the moment you're not being fair to yourself, your fiance or your friend - time to make the tough choice.
    I wanted to have the cheap registry wedding, hes the one who wants to do it in a chirch and stuff...and he has done long before he found out about my friend so he hasnt sudenly changed his mind.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sammys-Girly wrote: »
    I wanted to have the cheap registry wedding, hes the one who wants to do it in a chirch and stuff...and he has done long before he found out about my friend so he hasnt sudenly changed his mind.

    Costs £0 to get married in church.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Imho, if you really really love your fiance, you should stop seeing your friend..eventually ..in time you can figure out if what you feel towards your friend was for real or not...this way things with your fiance would certainly improve, i can say....

    I used to like my best friend, and we hung out a lot, and when i introduced my actual boyfriend to him, he got sad/mad and we slowly grew apart, now he has a new girlfriend, and we talk like...once every two months....

    So, think about now you're safe and happy with your fiance and don't have to wander
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