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Self Harm.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
It's weird. Like I'm always a really happy person. Always laughing and smiling and all that jazz. But like, I get into arguments with my mum and stuff at home and I get all angry with everything and I cut myself. I don't get it though, 'cause I don't remember doing it or remember most of the stuff I said. But like my subconcious must know what's going on 'cause I've never cut too deep and the scars are always well hidden; it's been going on for about 3 years now and nobody has any idea.

Obviously I know that self harm is a problem, but should I try and talk to someone about this? I know that it's seen as a cry for help but as I'm always careful to hide everything I don't see how it could be seen as that. Also, I honestly believe that I'm not going to hurt myself too badly. I actually don't know why I'm posting this, 'cause I pretty much predict what sort of responses I'm going to get; the sort of advice that I'd give to other people.

Just like, let me know what you think. xxx

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I Self Harm and have done for about 4 years. Erm depending on how old you are?
    For about three years no-one knew. But as soon as people around me started to know it got easier.
    So you could try the Doctors or something like that.
    Or just tell a good friend that you would trust with you life.
    Let me know how you get on?

    Good Luck.
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    Soph001Soph001 Posts: 105 The Mix Convert
    Hi,
    Thanks for posting, you've clearly got to the point where you're ready to do something about this problem, and I promise there are plenty of solutions out there. Have you tried looking at some other threads about self harm to see what others have said? There's advice on everything from knowing when to stop each time to scars. Also, in case you haven't already found it, there's a place on TheSite.org dedicated to this issue here.

    Speaking more personally, it sounds like this is an outlet for these family problems which you say are troubling your otherwise happy life. Do these things bother you often, are the arguments frequent? Finding another way to address them and bring the issues into the open might make you more conscious of your reactions, and stop this almost unconscious habit you have got into. What do you think?

    If you like this idea, how about choosing a friend you really trust (or a teacher, if you're at school or college) and letting them know what is happening. Just ask if you can keep them updated - having someone else monitor your situation is also a good way of making yourself more aware of your actions. If you don't feel you can talk to anyone you know, perhaps you could try the Samaritans , Get Connected or a similar phone line. They will talk to you without judging, and provide support and information.

    You will hear people saying that self harm is just a cry for help or attention-seeking but if you explore TheSite.org a bit more, you'll see how real the problem is for so many people. We take it seriously here, and want to help you in any way we can, so please keep us in the loop and reply with any more information that you think would be helpful or would like to share.
    Take care of yourself.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Also, if the first doctor you see isn't sympathetic, try not to write all medical help off.

    Every time I move house I have to go through a palaver trying to find a doctor who deals with my mental health issues (self harm, eating disorders) in the way I would like. You know yourself and you should trust your instincts on the help that you need.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi there... I'd just like to highlight something that no one else seems to have mentioned. When I read your post, I got the impression that you don't remember harming, you just see the end results... I think this to be a cause for concern past the harm itself. To me it suggests two things:
    1. You aren't always in control of your actions. Which could point to a far more important issue than the harm itself.
    2. You aren't the one cutting you? I know it seems far fetched but I'm sure you'd have some recolection of cutting yourself if you where consciously doing it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've been a self harmer for 9 years...it sucks...it'ss got to the point that when i havent done it for about 2-3 weeks, i do it in my sleep.
    When my family found out, they told anyone who was involved in my life...so the doctors found out, the school which got me a referal to CAMHS (child and adolescent mental health services) which i still am seeing every two weeks (i should've been referred to the adult services by now).
    To the people who want help stopping or more info on self harm/self injury:
    They will only help you stop self harming if you want to stop self harming....it may sound odd, but they think that if it's getting you through life then it isn't a problem....
    It's been brought up no more than 4 times in the 5 years i've been seeing them and it is still going on...
    You need to work out what triggers the urge to self harm, tell someone close to you- a best friend? so they can be the person you call when you have the urge. If not a friend/family then call samaritans
    i have found a few sites helpful
    Self Injury has great poems, quotes and songs related *possible trigger warning*
    First Signs support forum for self harm
    National self harm network get fact sheets on replacing self harm with other coping mechanisms...safe ways of coping
    Info on self harm

    Everyone is different and will have ways of stopping. I personally haven't found my way yet...
    I have tried art therapy, ,cbt, talking, elastic bands, ice, punching walls, eating, drawing, writing, walking....

    I have read some really inspiring books:
    Red Tears by Joanna Kenrick
    Crying scarlet tears by sophie scott
    scarred by sophie andrews
    cut by patrica mccormick
    disconnected by sherry ashworth
    gingerbread by rachel cohn
    snap by alison mcghee
    manic by Terri Cheney
    Damaged by cathy glass

    And so many more


    I have babbled so much
    please don't allow yourselves to let it carry on...the scars aren't nice...it could effect how your life goes in the future
    get help
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ÜberGr!m wrote: »
    Hi there... I'd just like to highlight something that no one else seems to have mentioned. When I read your post, I got the impression that you don't remember harming, you just see the end results... I think this to be a cause for concern past the harm itself. To me it suggests two things:
    1. You aren't always in control of your actions. Which could point to a far more important issue than the harm itself.
    2. You aren't the one cutting you? I know it seems far fetched but I'm sure you'd have some recolection of cutting yourself if you where consciously doing it.

    you haven't a clue, mate
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    danniegirl wrote: »
    you haven't a clue, mate
    That's not very fair, if you look at the poster's other comments you will see that they do have experience of self-harm.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi hun hope youre ok you said you was going through break up too last time didnt you?you can p.m me anytime x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Same I used to be a happy giggly person. Until I started that. Wow. Really sorry about what your going through. Wish I had a magic wond that wouold make it easier for you. :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As long as you look after yourself it's ok, i always see self harm as a way of coping more than a cry for help and i often consider it as ok (whilst others might freak out) but this might be because i am one myself. Sometimes it is but often it's just staying in control... everyone has their own reasons for doing so. If you feel your self harm is a problem (and it does slightly concern me that you have no recollection of doing so) then do talk to someone about it, get down to the triggers of your self harm and figure out how to stop you doing so, note: you can only stop if you want to or feel ready to! (i tried to stop when i wasn't ready and things got a lot worse, i wouldn't like to see this happen to anyone else) The fact that you are considering getting help is really positive and well done to you for that! Take care of yourself and keep in touch x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, I don't think I explained that very well. It's like, I know I'm doing it, but I don't.

    Ugh, considering I'm supposed to be good with words I'm not doing very well here aha. And I've said "like" too many times as well.

    I dunno how to explain this but I'm kinda aware that I'm doing it, it's just, it's like I'm seeing somebody else doing it to themselves.

    I've stopped making sense now but that's about as clear as I can get it.

    Thanks for all the replies, I'm quite surprised. On other sites I find that the advice is kinda universal; it's nice to hear from people who know where you're coming from.

    xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ahhh... i understand where you're coming from. it feels like someone else doing it; it's you, but not. I have the exact same thing, i always describe the 'harmer' as being a different being from myself. Just as long as you tke care of yourself and get help when you need it you will be ok take care of yourself, hope you're ok xx
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