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sexual pearls of wisdom

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I thought you would appreciate these gems of advice from the love god that is Jeff from Coupling * swoon*

'Sex can be very stressful for men. You judge us on technique, sensitivity, stamina...we're just happy if you're naked...half naked...one breast'

'My advice is to get them off right after your shoes and before your trousers...that's the sock gap. Miss it and suddenly you're a naked man in socks. No self-respecting woman will let a naked man in socks do the squelchy with her'

'I can't turn off the naked people. I am imagining everybody naked, it's automatic now'

'I think breast brains would be over-egging the woman pudding. Besides, you give breasts the power of independent thought and the next thing that happens they don't get on'

'She's leaving the country...she doesn't speak English...I insulted her friend's breasts...and she thinks I collect women's ears in a bucket'

'You know what, there's something I've always wanted to say and, erm, now I feel that at long last I can. Breasts. Breasts, breasts, breasts, breasts, breasts!'

'There's a supermodel who shags total pratts and I don't know where she lives...'

'I love the word naked, it's brilliant isn't it, 'naked'. When I was a kid I used to write the word naked on a bit of paper hundreds of times and rub my face in it'

'I like cellulite, it's like a bit of variety isn't it'

'We can't help ourselves. We hone in, we're drawn, like perverted moths''

'I've got the key to the gates of paradise but I've got too many legs'

'Or your mother starts making enormous sculptures of erections and filling the house with them. That's what I hate'

'Buttocks...gusset...bicycle saddle'

'Cleft'

'Maybe you're licking her neck too much, are you over wetting her neck?

'Fact is some women don't have large breasts, and they're people too

, sex with two whole women, think of the advantages...they can't both fall asleep. If one of them suddenly leaves or punches you, you've still got one left. If one of them plays that old sneaking out of the window trick, there's someone there to untie you. It's total genius.'
'...and all those breasts! Your bed would be like a breast car park. It'd be like being attacked by the giant breast octopus but only this time your mother wouldn't wake you up before the good bit.'

'Especially the tongues part. I love getting all that extra tongue. You know sometimes I eat really cold ice cream so my tongue goes numb and it feels like someone elses...but we all get lonely sometimes'

'Tell you what. I'm not just saying this. Compared to sex with you, masturbation is in it's infancy'

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lol nice:) :D
    'Sex can be very stressful for men. You judge us on technique, sensitivity, stamina

    How very true!!:p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i never find that programme that funny - but i now i think i might start watching, some of those lines are pure genius!!!!!!!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah, series 2, on BBC 2, 9:30 on Monday. Jeff is by far the best character and in a few weeks there's a simply brilliant episode called Naked where the focus is on Jeff and his new conquest - "nose aversion tilting etc."

    Gonn a see the response to this and then maybe post some more quotes
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    post some more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Can you put jokes and funnies in Anything Goes instead please.
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