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Anxiety leading to softness
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
My girlfriend and I are going to have sex next week for the first time. We were going to have sex the other week, she had her legs open and I went soft just before penetrating. I have anxiety issues, in the past with other girls if I am soft I am embarassed at the size and usually have to get myself hard before they can touch it. All the advice I have read is just telling you to "relax" but I cant shut it out of my mind, I am constantly worrying I wont be able to get it up next week, not sure whether to try hypnotherapy. Any ideas?
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I had an issue the same a while ago, my ex girlfriend was very tight down thereand I struggled to get it in. However when I got it in it went down and for various times afer that I worried about if I could keep it up instead of running to the bathroom making excuses of needing the toilet.
Just take your time, don't try to plan for sex and have fun. A drink sometimes can calm the nerves and i'm sure once you relax and have sex once with it hard your worries will be gone.
As for the size of your penis, I really wouldn't worry about it. A penis when soft is small anyway. She will love you no matter what i'm sure about that. A few ways to increase your size naturally is just spending a few minutes a day holding the base of your penis and pulling downwards (not too hard) and just stretching it out so to say. Another is holding the base and just 'flopping' it up and down for a few minutes. Some may say it won't work but i've always had quite a large penis and I use to always use those techniques. Worth a try? But don't be embarresed by the size, if she is - then she isn't worth it.
Hope that helps
Good luck!
When we first tried having sex he went soft almost straight away. He's quite big and apparently I'm quite tight so he was scared it was going to hurt like past experiences.
Anyway we're past initial pentration now, and he still goes soft after a while because he's worried and so used to being anxious.
Just relax and take your time, I'm sure if she really likes you she'll be willing to help you work through it Practice makes perfect x