You may be asked to reset your password when you try to login. This is part of a system update and is genuine, so it's safe to go ahead and do that. If you no longer have access to the email address you used to register, please email us at [email protected] rather than creating a new account. Apologies for the inconvenience.

Anxiety leading to softness

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
My girlfriend and I are going to have sex next week for the first time. We were going to have sex the other week, she had her legs open and I went soft just before penetrating. I have anxiety issues, in the past with other girls if I am soft I am embarassed at the size and usually have to get myself hard before they can touch it. All the advice I have read is just telling you to "relax" but I cant shut it out of my mind, I am constantly worrying I wont be able to get it up next week, not sure whether to try hypnotherapy. Any ideas?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    get some info on hypnotherapy from a professional..?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    why are you embarressed by the size of it when its soft? everyone knows that its only worth looking at when its hard :P plus, i read somewhere that the size of a soft cock has nothing to do with the size of it when hard i.e you could have a 1incher when soft and it could grow to 7 when hard!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The way your explaining the situation you can instantly see the problem. Your thinking way too much about what if it doesn't come up and why it isn't coming up rather than relaxing with your girlfriend and just having fun.

    I had an issue the same a while ago, my ex girlfriend was very tight down thereand I struggled to get it in. However when I got it in it went down and for various times afer that I worried about if I could keep it up instead of running to the bathroom making excuses of needing the toilet.

    Just take your time, don't try to plan for sex and have fun. A drink sometimes can calm the nerves and i'm sure once you relax and have sex once with it hard your worries will be gone.

    As for the size of your penis, I really wouldn't worry about it. A penis when soft is small anyway. She will love you no matter what i'm sure about that. A few ways to increase your size naturally is just spending a few minutes a day holding the base of your penis and pulling downwards (not too hard) and just stretching it out so to say. Another is holding the base and just 'flopping' it up and down for a few minutes. Some may say it won't work but i've always had quite a large penis and I use to always use those techniques. Worth a try? But don't be embarresed by the size, if she is - then she isn't worth it.

    Hope that helps
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Build up to it maybe and gain some sexual confidence. Nothing wrong with starting off with handjobs / fingering, then moving onto oral stuff, as a first step before you actually have sex.

    Good luck!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Me and my bf have this problem exactly.

    When we first tried having sex he went soft almost straight away. He's quite big and apparently I'm quite tight so he was scared it was going to hurt like past experiences.

    Anyway we're past initial pentration now, and he still goes soft after a while because he's worried and so used to being anxious.

    Just relax and take your time, I'm sure if she really likes you she'll be willing to help you work through it :) Practice makes perfect x
Sign In or Register to comment.